Nancy, the various reactions James listed are all valid. And the permission Michelle is giving you to feel whatever you're feeling is also valid. People who haven't been through a long illness with a loved one often don't understand that some of the grieving is already done. When my father died, I was sad, but I also felt relief because his suffering was over, and his wife's burden of constant care had finally been lifted. She was so wonderful to him and for him for the last eight years or so, and I'm grateful that he had someone so kind and faithful beside him during that time. And much of my grieving was already done, because he slipped away a little bit at a time over the past two years. Every time I spoke with him over the phone, I could tell that he was a little bit further away from us, and it hurt. I'm so very glad that Lila (his wife) was watching over him.
I'm certain that your mother is grateful that you were with her during all that time, too. Again, I wish I could offer better comfort than this, but know that your labors have not been performed in vain.
{{{{{more big hugs}}}}}
