Okay, so today I allowed my true redneck roots to shine through with brilliant clarity. For years, I have tried to deny what I am, but alas, my mamma's from Tennessee and my step-family is about as redneck as people from Colorado can get.

That being said, what do you get when you use the following items bought on a whim during a trip to the local Target?

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(Okay, I already had the cottonballs. Actually, I think they're my roommates. I hope she doesn't moiderlize me. Eh, it was worth it!)

Why, in fact, you get your very own, 100% authentically redneck, fully unautomatic and totally unrealistic:

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Full grade full range pulse pistol!

ZOMG BASK IN THE CHEESINESS OF IT ALL!!! This is my new best friend!!! ;D

PS It's TRUE!!! Duct tape IS a man's best friend!

(For those who don't know, a pulse pistol is one of the most well-known weapons on Farscape. I'm gonna be a PEACEKEEPER FOR HALLOWEEN BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!)

Mmm cheese.

I vid, therefor I am.

The hardest lesson is that love can be so fair to some, and so cruel to others. Even those who would be gods.

Anne Shirley: I'm glad you spell your name with a "K." Katherine with a "K" is so much more alluring than Catherine with a "C." A "C" always looks so smug.
Me: *cries*