OTOH, if Clark had seen how torn up Lois was by his "death," he would have told her immediately. His empathy and compassion were too great to let her go on in such pain if he could stop it. Since ABC had no intention of letting Lois in on the secret, the writers wisely kept Superman away from Lois until he could bring Clark back to life for her.
As far as when the revelation should have occurred, I pretty much agree with Elisabeth.
