What is the origin of this attitude? Why is Clark this way?
It’s about the modern interpretation of Superman, originally Superman did good because it was the good thing to do. Possible his goodness was the manifest of the superior Kryptonian civilisation.
In the 1990thies with the revamp the writers tried to add some depth to him and the reasons behind his lawful good outlook. In this incarnation Superman greatest fear is that he would be corrupted by his unrestrained power. He therefore makes it a point of submitting to authority, helping him to feel a restraint on his actions. At same time he don’t need to eat, sleep cannot get sick or hurt and can excel in anything he puts his attention to, this makes him hesitant to judge humans. Since he can reshape the world pretty much to his will, he lives within his own mind as much as he does in the reality of society, struggling with the differences between the right answer and the practical one.
With Dan Scardino as well, Clark seemed to have a very fatalistic attitude. He didn't fight for Lois. in the end it was her decision to break up with Dan and confront Clark. Shouldn't he have been more pro-active in their relationship then?
Here is the fatalism you are talking about, why he so hesitant to see too his own needs. The more tempting it is to use powers to make his dreams come through, the scarier it would be. And Lois has touched him deeply, at the same time everything is up to him, if he make it so, nothing on earth could stop him from spending the rest of his life with Lois.
That is why it so important that Lois comes to him of her own will without Clark stacking the deck in his favour. He might also have felt relief to get away from her when she have such a powerful grip over his emotions.
And Deter was mostly poor writing. It’s amazing that those scenes that has the greatest dramatic potential, like the revelation and marriage were so poorly handled.
