I see Lynn posted her Merriweather scores and comments in her fdk folder for the story she submitted. I was very interested, so I thought others might be interested in mine.
It wouldn't make any sense for me to repost my story - I didn't change a thing from the Archive version, except to remove the Author's Note explaining that it was a challenge response. But perhaps contestants who didn't write something new for the competition (and even those who did!) could post theirs here?
I'll use Lynn's helpful headings with the number of questions in each section, and try to copy her formatting for the comments - though something seems to have got a bit garbled in the email, so I can only guess about the comment separations! Some sections seem to have five sets of comments, others three or fewer.
Section 1 - Opening Hook Two questions for consideration, min. 2 pts/max 10 pts.Scores: 7, 7, 4, 10
Section 2 - Characterization Three questions for consideration, min. 3 pts/max 15 pts.Scores: 5, 5, 5, 5
Section 3 - Plot Three questions for consideration, min. 3 pts/max 15 pts.Scores: 8, 8, 8, 10
Section 4 - Setting Three questions for consideration, min. 3 pts/max 15 pts.Scores: 5, 5, 5, 5
Section 5 - Dialogue Four questions for consideration, min. 4 pts/max 20 pts.Scores: 8, 10, 10, 8
Section 6 - Style Two questions for consideration, min. 2 pts/max 10 pts.Scores: 4, 4, 5, 4
Section 7 - Mechanics and Pacing Ten questions for consideration, min. 10 pts/max 50 pts.Scores: 15, 15, 18, 18
Section 8 - Point Of View Three questions for consideration, min. 3 pts/max 15 pts.Scores: 10, 10, 10, 9
Total Score: 260/600What did you especially like or dislike about the hero/heroine or both?"Good characterization. True to the show yet a plausible switch from what really happened in the series."
"They stayed almost true to the first season’s characters."
"I especially like how you build tension between the hero and heroine with their actions and narrative. I like how sensitive Lois is to Clark’s feelings"
What are two areas you felt were well done?"POV is exceptionally well done! The switches were seamless."
"The dialogue was good and the introspection was appropriate to the characters."
"Situation is very believable and characters are faithful to cannon. Changing scenes is done in a very unobtrusive way that works really well to focus on the introspection taking place, but still let the reader visualize where the characters are."
"Good characterization. True to the show yet a plausible switch from what really happened in the series. The vignette has good pacing. I wanted to read more."
"I like the internal dialogue. It gives depth to both characters and makes them real in the mind of the reader."
What are two areas you felt needed work? Tell why and make suggestions."Try to show and not tell. This is done by using the senses and using strong verbs."
"The use of script format at the opening is a detractor. This is a talented author who should be able to set the scene with a more graceful format that isn’t so choppy. All comments in the remaining sections refer to the story excluding this introduction."
"POV is exceptionally well done! The switches were seamless."
"As you’re writing, remember to show and not tell. This may be accomplished better by changing the Point The first two scenes don’t transition well. I would reword the first sentence on the first paragraph. of View."
[Note: this is reproduced verbatim from the email. I assume one comment got pasted into the middle of another.]"This was a fun read."
What, if anything, seemed clichéd to you? (Plot,characterization, dialogue, etc.)"The revelation at the end. Lois crying is not keeping with her fighting spirit."
Note in my defence: Lois certainly didn't cry! I assume the judge misinterpreted a reference to Lois's "sobbing breath". Anything else?"Technically and artistically this was an excellent vignette."
"You have a great handle on POV and how to switch effectively and seamlessly!"
What I liked best about this entry."It was a good introspection piece."
"The plot is not original, but makes a neatly packaged examination of Lois and Clark’s evolving relationship."
"Very enjoyable to read. I particularly love the part where Lois thinks Clark is going to betray Superman’s secret and chastises him"
"Good use of physical descriptors to convey the moods of each character"
My own comments:My total was 260, only 20 points higher than Lynn's - there must have been a lot of stories with very similar scores! And that's still way below a "pass mark"
- which would be 300 if the questions are marked from 0 to 5, 360 if they're from 1 to 5 as the website says.
Also, the comments didn't seem to be reflected in the scores. For example, two judges commented favourably on the characterisation - yet my scores for section 2 were a completely flat 5/15.
I have to say that if I'd got these scores and hadn't somehow placed second, I'd assume my writing was pretty terrible. I hope new writers, especially, don't find the low scores in this contest a complete ego-killer and stop writing!
So - anyone else prepared to share?
Mere
