(This actually isn't as funny as I hoped, but it's the best I can do at the moment.
)
Just Say Noach: a cameo challenge with Gerry, Rivka, and Hazel Clark smoothed out the rumpled page and studied it carefully, glancing back at the ancient tome to compare. "I can't read this, Lois," he admitted.
"Not one of the three hundred and forty-seven languages, huh?" Lois said sympathetically.
"Actually, it looks a lot like Hebrew to me," Clark said slowly, "but speaking a language and reading a language can be two very different things. I can speak Russian, but I can't read Cyrillic. It's the same problem here. I can speak Hebrew, but I can't read Hebrew letters."
Lois peered over Clark's shoulder and ran her finger along one line. "There aren't even any capitals," she complained.
"Or vowels," Clark agreed. "And you're reading it the wrong way, anyway."
"Huh?"
"Hebrew is read from right to left," Clark sighed. "This is hopeless. We need an expert."
"Oh, sure," Lois drawled, unable to keep a hint of sarcasm out of her voice. "And where, exactly, do you expect to get an expert at 2 a.m.? Gerry's in the same time zone. She must have gone to sleep ages ago."
"Good question." Clark frowned for a moment, then brightened. "Hey, it's three hours earlier in California! Why don't we take it to Rivka? It's only 11 p.m. over there."
"Or even Hazel," Lois suggested. "Israel is seven hours ahead, right? That means it's nine o'clock in the morning."
"California is closer, but the timing is better in Jerusalem," Clark said thoughtfully. "Okay, I'll try Hazel."
"Remember to touch down as Clark, and not Superman," Lois reminded him as he prepared to take off. "Hazel's neighborhood isn't exactly conducive to men in tights."
"I'll be back as soon as I can," Clark promised. "I'll meet you back in the cabin, okay?" He wooshed out the window and up into the sky, chasing the sun towards the Middle East.
"As if," Lois muttered. "He doesn't
really expect me to stay put, does he? Besides, I have to go get captured together with Jimmy." She headed out purposely into the night.
