Ouch! Poor Clark! Poor Lois!
You really brought it alive.
Am I mistaken or did Herb's involvement cause Clark to be shot and Lois to become a killer?
Is that *really* an improvement from canon? Couldn't Lois still be arrested for Involuntary Manslaughter? I know it was in defense of Clark, but still... I don't know if that counts for self-defense, but since Trask would've killed her along with the Kents and Clark, it probably does. Is it worth going through that to justify their relationship starting sooner?
I would have liked to see Lois do more, instead of just hanging back. Couldn't she have released the Kents or something more proactive? Tied up Trask when Clark went to release his folks? Killing Trask almost seems like a little too much a little too late. If she had acted earlier, such an outcome would have been unnecessary. Gee, thanks, Herb.
Throughout reading this part I felt like there was something missing. I'm not sure what. A change in Clark's motivations and actions due to his change in relationship with Lois perhaps. He's acting *exactly* the same as in canon and I don't think he would. Couldn't Clark have done something else, so that Trask wouldn't have found out his secret? Doesn't Clark have an extra reason (Lois's safety as his fiancee) to keep Superman's identity secret?
Since Sherman didn't do anything to help Lois escape as she did in canon, why is Lois helping her avoid prosecution?
Sherman may have had a good reason to do what she was doing, but she still did it... she still left Lois tied up, didn't help Lois contact the Sheriff, and never turned against Trask or B39. (In your story, Herb took over her helpful role in Lois's escape.) In the end, Sherman should still be held accountable for her own actions as an accessory to Trask's crimes. What if the other B39 soldiers / agents also have sob stories about Trask blackmailing or threatening them into doing what they did? Should they also be excused from punishment?
Also, where was Jimmy's reaction to Clark being shot and Lois claiming that they were married? The first we hear of him, he's going straight to work helping Rachel photograph the crime scene without seeming any notice of or care what happened to his friends. He doesn't acknowledge them or what happened to them at all during this whole scene. It seems a bit cold and uber-professional for Jimmy.
Herb better have a darn good explanation for interfering. He's quickly losing favor as a good guy here. Also, aren't the Kents and Lois a little blase` about this stranger popping in and out of their lives to supposedly help, and knowing all about Clark's secret? That should have raised lots of red flags before this point, especially with Lois (who has seen him more than the others). If it were Mike, I could understand their laissez faire attitude, because as guardian angel he exudes that, but H.G. Wells? I'm hoping Lois will show her typical anger streak at him for his lack of real assistance with Trask.
