Better?
)
But without his powers, Superman had only the virtue of surprise on his side. It wasn’t hard, then, to know what he had to do. Bait, Luthor had called him, so he would bite because Clark was dead--and that was the fate that always claimed bait, wasn’t it?--and Superman was the fish. Once the bait was taken, there was only one course for the fish to take--to fight or die.
Ominous. Very, very much so. I really liked the 'bait' and 'fish' thought process. Creatively written
"And I have one for him in return.” He paused long enough for the two men to look nervous, to shift their weight as if to run, then said, slowly and distinctly, “So take me to him.”
Eek. Another 'Yikes!'. This is where the pillow was actually hiding part of my face. 'Nervous' would be a huge understatement here. I was so emotionally invested into the story when it got to this part, my heart was pounding! He's actually requesting to be taken to Luthor??? W/o having his powers??? Clark/Superman--what are you thinking? I think I need to add another 'Yikes' here
He’d intentionally chosen a pace that was slow enough they could easily flank him before he reached the elevator--he might be impetuous and impatient, but he didn’t intend on giving away just how lost he was.
Performing. Hoping the men will help him to 'perform'. Such an eerie time in the story...heading to who knows what--who knows where. Creepy!
The Secret, because if he was giving out capital letters then surely that deserved one too
I really like these capital words! Great addition!
He drew a line down Clark’s face, and it took a long, pain-hazed moment for Clark to realize that it was not his touch that hurt but the edge of the tinted glass he was using to paint blood along his cheekbone, along his wrist, along the exposed line of his neck, acts of war splashed over living surfaces.
OMG! So dark...so mean. SO SO cruel!
And the doors burst open, and blue and gold and flesh colors burst into the room, a mass intrusion, the cavalry arrived, and Clark’s eyes were cloaked in green, an aura that touched the whole world, but he knew Henderson was in the lead, a cell-phone in his hand where he’d heard every malicious, incriminating word Luthor had spewed at him.
Thank goodness. (Realizing that shoulders now are finally 'down' and I'm starting to relax).
But Lois was right there, her fingers working against his side, and suddenly his cape was blanketing him, red blood on red folds, hidden and discreet, and his parents were safe.
Red on Red. Camouflage.
"No!” Lois snapped at him. But it wasn’t her usual snap of command. It was fractured with doubt, broken with tears, made ineffectual by regret. “No, Clark! Clark!”
???--Ok, you've gotta get this fixed! PLEASE! They have too much to talk about and too much to share with each other. There is a lot of love wrapped into a lot of confusion.
Post, please post!
Great job--it's amazing...
Laura
