Chapter 9
Lois had never felt more comfortable on this date than she did in her apartment, with no makeup, a casual tank top and his arms around her waist. She was beyond relieved to discover that both of them had hidden their true feelings because they had been so nervous about the prospect of their relationship changing. It meant that her behaviour hadn’t been some huge red flag that things were doomed to fail.
And, once it was all out in the open, she was ecstatic that they had been able to laugh about it. As friends. As partners. And as something more than that. And there was definitely more between them. She hadn’t been sure just how strong her feelings were, but that kiss at the arena, followed by the one just moments ago told her all she needed to know.
“Lois?” he murmured, his brow creasing ever so slightly. “Did I say something—”
“No!” she assured him, reaching up and stroking his cheek lightly with her finger. “I was just thinking about how this has been the best—and worst—first date I’ve ever had.”
He laughed and her heart fluttered at the sight of his smile.
“It’s the best—and worst—first date I’ve ever had too,” he replied with a grin. “Though you still haven’t answered my question. Coffee or tea?”
“Neither,” she replied, taking his hand and leading him into the living room. They sat down together on her couch. She curled her legs up and leaned against his chest. Wordlessly, he pulled her into his arms and they allowed themselves to just sit there for what felt like both forever, and a moment.
“You know, I could get used to this, after tonight,” she finally said. A soft rumble against her cheek told her that he’d heard her. “The silence, I mean. I think my ears are still ringing and I don’t think I even heard one full Pearl Jam song.”
“We could go back if you want,” he offered, his tone light and teasing. “I know how they’re your favourite band and everything.”
“Very funny,” she replied, sitting up to see him grinning back at her. “I have to admit, though, I don’t think a concert is a good place for a first date, even if it was a band I really did want to see.”
“Oh?” he said, giving her a curious look. “Why is that?”
“Well,” she thought for a moment, trying to sort out what she wanted to say, lest it come out wrong. “I guess it’s because I want to get to know you, and concerts don’t lend well to that. You can’t really talk, and your focus is on the act and not the other person.”
“Lois, you know me,” he pointed out softly, though there was something in his eyes she couldn’t define. “You’ve known me for almost two years now.”
“Yes and no,” she replied quietly. “I mean, I know you as my partner, and as my best friend. I know you as the guy I can count on to be there for me when I’m scared or about to do something stupid, or the guy who plays poker with Perry and Jimmy on Friday nights. But...I don’t know Clark Kent, the...boyfriend. Or potential boyfriend. Or guy I’m dating or...oh God, shoot me now, please?”
“No, go on,” he said, his voice deepening ever so slightly. “I like the way it sounds.”
She flushed under the intensity of his gaze, looking down at her thumbs.
“I just...I guess I want time to get to talk to you and to know you.” She met his eyes once more and, seeing nothing but deep affection, continued, “Like if we had just met and you’d asked me out and I wasn’t so stubborn and said yes...we would be asking ourselves all sorts of questions, like...where did you grow up—”
“Kansas,” he replied. She looked up in mild surprise and smiled.
“When did you first know you wanted to be a reporter?” she asked, enjoying the fact that she appeared to have his undivided attention.
“When I joined my school newspaper at sixteen,” he answered. “My English teacher Mr. Beeler said ‘a good reporter knows the facts. A great reporter understands their meaning’. I guess I’ve always wanted to understand the meaning behind the facts.”
“You never told me that before,” Lois said, feeling suddenly as if she were seeing him—really seeing him—for the first time.
“We never went to see Pearl Jam before,” Clark replied with a slightly mischievous twinkle in his eye. “Any other questions about my childhood you want to know? To complete the first date experience, that is.”
She couldn’t help but think he looked mildly nervous. She understood the feeling well, and she found herself taking his hand and squeezing it gently.
“Who did you have your first slow dance with and what song was it?” she asked. He looked a bit surprised by the question.
“The first slow song I ever danced to?” he echoed.
“I figured since we saw a band neither of us liked tonight, I might as well figure out what you do like.”
“Ahh,” he said with a nod of his head. “Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but the first song I ever slow danced to was I Want to Know What Love Is by Foreigner and I liked that song about as much as I like Pearl Jam.”
“Ouch,” Lois said with a wince. She knew the song and while it was a bit on the saccharine side, she was surprised to hear Clark, the hopeless romantic disparage it. “Was it the song or...the company?”
“Both?” he mused quietly. “Neither? I don’t know.” He let go of her and ran his hand through his hair, giving him a ruffled and very appealing look that countered his normal neatness.
“I’m sorry,” she apologised with a somewhat sheepish smile. “I get too intense, sometimes.”
“Don’t be sorry,” he said, reaching for her hand once more. “It’s one of the things I lo...like best about you. And as for that song, well...I danced to it with my first high school girlfriend, Lana Lang.”
“Bad breakup?” she asked, wondering suddenly if she’d brought up a painful memory he’d much rather forget. For some reason, though she knew he must have had previous relationships before, she’d never really considered the possibility that somewhere in his past, a girl may have broken his heart.
“Not exactly,” he replied. “Lana was nice enough, I suppose. She had a lot of good qualities but...we weren’t right for each other.”
For some reason, hearing him say that caused her heart to lift. Though she was prepared for Clark to tell her he’d loved someone in his past, she realised she didn’t want to hear it. She watched as he continued, sensing that there was something more he needed to say and wanting to give him the proper space to say it.
“I remember dancing to that song with her and thinking about the incredibly cheesy lyrics, which weren’t so cheesy when you’re 14, of course.” She laughed softly while he continued. “You know... I wanna know what love is. Well, I did. And I think I also knew that it wasn’t with Lana. And even that young, I felt deceitful for thinking it and...lonely. But I didn’t understand what I was feeling. I just knew that it wasn’t supposed to feel like this, you know?”
“Yes, I do,” Lois said quietly, almost to herself. Her eyes met his and a significant look passed between them, letting her know he understood exactly what she meant. She did know what it was like to be in a situation that felt incredibly wrong but not to have the right words or tools to express it. But the last thing she wanted was to bring up her failed almost-wedding on their first date, so she let the moment pass and thankfully Clark spoke again.
“What about you? What song was your first slow dance and who was it with?”
Caught off guard, she racked her brain, trying to remember.
“I don’t remember his name,” she finally admitted with a wince. He raised a non-judgemental eyebrow and she smiled in return. “It was my first boy-girl party at my friend Amy’s house, and she put on some music in a desperate attempt to get Jack McArthur to dance with her. Nobody moved at first until she shoved me out onto the carpet and I found myself dancing with some boy I hardly knew.”
“You still haven’t told me the song,” Clark pointed out, and she noticed that he’d started gently running his hands along her bare arms, causing her to shiver with pleasure. She thought again, trying to keep from being distracted by his touch.
“I think it was Sometimes When We Touch,” she finally said inwardly, thinking it fairly appropriate given the situation. “By Dan Hill.”
“I probably know it,” he admitted, “but I can’t think of the tune at the moment.”
“Do you...do you want to hear it?” She felt her breath catch. She was nervous. Suddenly very nervous, though she wasn’t entirely sure why. He looked at her quizzically, no doubt wondering why she had the song on hand when she’d just admitted she could barely remember who she had danced with it to.
She stood up and retrieved the CD with the song on it, handing it to Clark.
“Hits from the 70s?” he said, with a raised eyebrow.
“Jimmy was my secret Santa two years ago,” she filled in. “That was when he was a little bit afraid of me. I’m guessing he didn’t know what to buy, so he got this. Coincidentally, the song is on it.”
“He still is, you know,” Clark said, a hint of teasing in his voice as he stood up from the couch. She must have looked confused, because his playful smile widened. “Jimmy. He’s still a little bit afraid of you.”
“Very funny, Kent,” she shot back, feeling that somehow after kissing him the banter between them felt even better. It felt...intimate. “Are you going to dance with me, or what?”
“Always,” he said, all teasing gone from his face. Her hand slightly shaky with nerves, Lois put the CD in the player, found the track and pressed play.
The music wafted slowly from her speakers, and she made her way over to Clark, who was looking at her with that intense expression that she found both unnerving and exciting.
Without saying a word, he folded her into his arms, her body pressed gently but firmly against his while they began to sway to the music.
She was lost. Lost in the way he felt, the way he held her, lost in his scent and the gentle kisses he was placing on the top of her head as they danced. She couldn’t help but think that from one living room to another decades later, this was far and away the better experience.
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I'm only just beginning to see the real you
She couldn’t help but be amazed that the man who only just three days ago, had been her best friend, was now the same man who was giving her the most intense feelings she had ever experienced. The same man, whose arms she would happily stay in for a hundred more cheesy songs from the seventies.
She was vaguely aware of the song as it reached the chorus, and the fact that though he claimed not to know the song too well, Clark was now humming softly as they swayed, his chest vibrating softly against her.
And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides
She felt his hands as they softly roamed over her back and found herself doing the same, pressing her body closer to his. Something about the way he was touching her—a reverence mixed with cautious hope, caused her to feel a bit bolder.
Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
She remembered the two kisses from earlier in the evening and found herself tipping her head up to meet his gaze. She bit her lip as he glanced once more at her—his eyes hungry but the rest of him restrained. He was waiting for her to let him know that it was okay. She gave the barest of nods and he cupped her face gently in his hands, kissing her gently at first and then more deeply as their tongues met and Lois wound her hands into his hair, urging him closer.
The song dropped away entirely and all that was left was the two of them. Lois felt breathless as they explored each other, his hands now clutching her hips firmly while her heart beat furiously in her chest.
It wasn’t until she realised the room had gone silent—the song having ended—that she reluctantly broke the kiss, stepping back and trying surreptitiously to catch her breath. Her face felt flushed and she found her entire body felt alive and humming. Clark seemed to have difficulty finding air as well and she took heart in knowing that he was just as affected by her as she was.
“Some song,” he rasped as she made her way over to the CD player as the next song began to play—‘Dancing Queen’ by Abba.
“Darn,” he said after she’d turned it off, “that one was my favourite.”
“Keep it up, I’ll buy you tickets to see them for Christmas,” she teased.
“You’re never going to let me forget this one, are you?” he asked, as she made her way back towards him. He immediately wrapped his arms around her and she found herself thinking that she could get used to this.
“Never, farmboy,” she murmured, leaning in for another heartstopping kiss. This time it was he who broke the kiss, drawing a ragged breath as he did so.
“I should go,” he said reluctantly. “Believe me, I don’t want to, but...this could get...dangerous.”
“You know me,” she said, unable to help herself as she pressed her body against his, “I like danger.”
“Different kind of danger,” he murmured, kissing her again, and she felt his fingers gently touch the skin of her lower back. Her pulse raced, she pressed her body against his, and this time she felt exactly what he meant by things getting dangerous. Her own body responded and she kept the kiss chaste this time, lest things get too far out of hand.
“I meant what I said, you know,” she told him as she walked over with him to her door. “About going on a second date, I mean. Only this time, we both discuss it. My treat?”
“I would like nothing more,” he replied. “Does this mean we’re...seeing each other?”
He looked so adorably hopeful that she couldn’t help but reach up and gently touch his cheek.
“I think so,” she replied. “I’d like to get to know you all over again. If that’s what you want.”
“It’s very much what I want,” he said, and he looked as if he wanted to say more, but stopped himself. She felt the need to lighten the mood slightly so she smiled and touched his arm as if wanting to impart a secret.
“Do you know that Cat told me they started a betting pool in the office over how long it would take us to get together?”
“Really?” Clark said with a somewhat pleased smile. As if he liked the idea of the two of them being a foregone conclusion. “I wonder who won?”
“Gary, in accounts apparently,” Lois said with a grin. “You think we can get him to share some of the winnings with us?”
“Don’t need them,” Clark replied softly, gently touching her cheek as if she were the most precious thing he’d ever seen. “This is all I’ve ever wanted. You are all I’ve ever wanted.”
“Careful, farmboy,” Lois said, feeling suddenly breathless at the look in his eyes. “I could get used to this.”
“There are things you don’t know yet,” he warned her softly and she could tell by the look in his eyes that whatever he wanted to say, the time was not right yet. “About me, I mean. Things that could make this...complicated.”
He looked nervous and Lois wanted nothing more than to reassure him. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him softly on the cheek.
“As long as none of our dates have us ending up at a Marilyn Manson concert, we will handle it together.”
THE END
