I figured most of you would at least click on such a topic name to find out what I'm talking about.

I find myself needing a list of different ways in which Lex has been killed off in fics. The more grandiose or ignominious the better, although I'll take whatever I can get.

Although it's obvious, I might as well caution that this folder will likely contain lots and lots of spoilers; so if you're behind in your fic reading and don't want to know how Lex gets killed in a specific story, don't read this too closely!

Off the top of my head, I can think of the following:

• Under the wheels of a bus (Pam's Being Lois Lane)
• Eaten alive by sharks (Wendy's When Lightning Strikes Twice)
• Dangling popsicle (Labrat's Masques)
• Grenade stuffed down his trousers (Phil's Stronger Than Me Alone)

I am appealing to all the Lex-haters out there to help me with one. Even if it's as prosaic as being thrown out a window (Chris Carr's EM II), let me know about the many ways we FoLCs have done LnC the biggest favor of their lives by getting rid of Lex!

Hazel, who promises an explanation no later than the end of March

Shamefully, I can only think of my own murderous effort, wherein Luthor was shot in his jail cell by Mindy Church wiedling a quantum disruptor.

Hmmm...sounds like an entry for Cluedo.

Yvonne

Ah, it's so nice to be remembered... Technically, the bus thing was at the end of "Just Like That" but why quibble? Those two were originally written as one story, anyway.

Other than that, I don't seem to kill Lex -- probably because I rarely write about him at all <g> Well, there was the Lexmark that shorted itself out in Battle of the Network Printers... but I don't know if that counts

PJ

Hmm...well, I think I had his DNA degenerate once. He tried to make himself more super than Superman, and his body couldn't withstand the effects. Not a very fun way to go.

didn't think i had anything, but i just remembered " there\'s more than one way... "

he's not dead (though not for lack of trying), but he does end up stuck in the body of a stray cat who, at the end of the story, has good news and bad news: he'll be adopted, but, as part of the process, he'll be "fixed." ignominious enough for you?

oh, and in my " smart kids " untwist (which i just noticed while browsing the archive), he died alone, presumably of old age, in complete obscurity.

not really all that violent, but it's not usually my style.

can't think of anything else offhand.

fun topic, tho.

Paul, who thinks he knows what hazel's up to, and is hoping he's right.

I had a TE once that crashed his plane into a mountain. Otherwise... well, I don't work with Lex much, since he's already dead by fourth season and beyond.

Laura

Sadly, in the TE I wrote, Lex was the one villain who didn't die!

I've had Lex shot by cops while attempting to murder Clark.

Irene

I have trouble thinking up plots for Lex, so it'll probably take me a while before I do something really horrible to him (though I bet when I do it'll feel great!).

I remember, though, a few bad endings for Lex which I've read. Let's see if that inspires me.

Julie

No, no, no... the grenade was just to dispose of the evidence (and his DNA)! What killed him was the gun stuck in his mouth at the same time.

Other methods of offing Lexy-boy are available on request. Merely state the name of Humanity's benefactor-- um, the killer; the location; and how much collateral damage is acceptable.

Phil, Official FoLC Luthor Loather and Barbeque Chef

This also reminds me a lot of a certain scene in the movie Tango and Cash (featuring Teri Hatcher- ) where Tango (Sylvester Stallone) stuffed a grenade down a guy's pants, and called it "his contribution to birth control." LOL. Though it only exploded the second time he did it, but it was still hilarious.

Julie

In my plot untwist, "Pronounce Away!", I had Lex step off he curb, only to be run down by a getaway car being driven by his child-like clones of the President and the head of the Secret Service. They were, of course, munching frogs as they ran from the police.

Kathy (grinning like crazy at this thread, which is saying something, feeling as sick as I am. <g>)

Let's see...

In SP2, Lex was stabbed, shot and poisoned all at the same time to confuse Lt. Henderson who was trying to solve the case. But he figured it out as did several of the readers who posted guesses while SP2 was being posted to the MB.

Barb.

i just remembered. in my wedding ARGH untwist, lex was shot in the alley behind the ace 'o clubs by lois's clone, who went off to become a nightclub singer.

(sorry, checked a few other stories -- not all of them mine -- but he was only arrested in those, after all.)

Paul

Well, if we're including Plot Untwists, I had Vatman flash-fry him with heat vision...

And then there was the Imbalance Spiral Ending in which he died, along with the Churches and assorted goons, in a gas explosion ignited by his cigar. The mechanics of the explosion itself are slightly complicated, so I suggest you go and read the SE if you want the details (check the ToC for its location).

Hmm... I'm starting to see a trend here.

Phil, musing on other ways to cook a Lex (Microwaves? Lasers? Afterburners? All 3 at once?)

I've been reminded of my Tank Ending to Faux Pas, in which the following happened to Lex:

Wendy

I just had a sudden thought, and checked my TE for All Stirred Up. Sure enough:
Mere

I'm for at least one of the three...did anyone else watch last week's Angel? Apparently, Wolfram & Hart has the ability to zap anyone from a satellite laser beam with neither a trace of the body, nor incriminating evidence. Can you say ouch? I certainly wouldn't mind if something like that happened to Lex.

In Nothing but a Luthor on the Way, I had Nigel shooting Luthor, on the rooftop of the building were his wedding to Lois was taking place and as Luthor killed the older man as well.

Cris

I think there must be some sort of mind control thingy in space somewhere. I almost never have time to come to this board, but today, I followed a link from the lncfanfic mail list. I am currently writing a Lex fic and am trying to figure out just what to do with the dude. Y'all are giving me all sorts of idears. <eg>

As I looked at this, I found, to my surprise, that I've only written about Lex in one story, The Portrait. In that one, the police broke into Lois's apartment and hit him with a barrage of bullets just as he was blasting Clark and Lois with double ought buckshot from a short barrelled shotgun.

Heavens, I'll have to do something about my neglect of him. He's too delicious a villain to ignore and so much fun to write.

Jude

I can't think of any other ways in which Lex has been killed in fanfic, but I can think of one way in which certain folcs -- you know who you are -- once contemplated killing him.

We were going around the Wedgwood factory at the time and saw a particularly fierce looking glazing oven / kiln. It worked rather like a conveyor belt, with flames that were blue hot belching inwards from all directions. We discussed at the time just how fit a way that would be for Lex to go.

Ah, the things we find to talk about on our days out!

Oh, and one last thing:

As CJ Kent's attorney, I would like that point out that, my client has at no time thrown Lex Luthor -- or anyone else, for that matter -- out of a window.

Luthor's demise was entirely his own doing; had he not tresspassed onto Lois Lane's property, where he subsequently attacked my client, he would not have died. Luthor was carried out of the window by his own momentum while my client was doing his utmost to protect his own life and the life of his companion.

Please do not libel Mr Kent in such a way again. To do so may lead to prosecution.

Yours sincerely, etc etc

Chris

What contemplating a Hansel and Gretel moment for Lex? <innocent> I could say I hadn't thought about it... but then I'd be lying.

Laura (mad potter)

Thanks to all of you for replying to this thread and supplying me with ways and means. You'll see the results next week. I chose those that best fit a scansion, not necessarily the best deaths - although Phil might say that *any* death is a good one!

Hazel, who will post Sunday

I read a story at Anne's place recently that had Lex dying from the overzealous attentions of an amorous Clark Kent. It wasn't very discriptive, but the image brought to mind was disturbing to say the least. Major EWWWWWW!

TEEEJ

I know that story. It's hilarious!!


Wendy

Yes, I'd thought about pointing it out, but... well... I thought Hazel would rather not know

PJ

Why no, Hazel. <innocent> Hansel and Gretel threw the *witch* into the oven....

Laura

My twisted and demented muse just thought of another way to kill Lex, and you gave me the idea: Sue him to death. Now I may have to write the fic.

In _Lois's Secret_ I had him jump off his penthouse balcony when he thought he was being haunted by the ghost of Lois Lane.

Hazel's taken these ideas and come up with a hilarious song parody... see it here: http://www.lcficmbs.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=001785



PJ

I had to resurrect this thread so that I could add to it another Luthor assassination. I know that Hazel's long since finished and performed her filk, but it was this thread which made me decide that, in Don't Be A Stranger, Lex had to die.

Chris, your reminder of our Wedgwood trip didn't actually give me the idea, although (as Yvonne told me) it has similarities! Certainly, death by fire is a fitting end for the most evil of human villains.


Wendy

I have to say that Lex getting killed off is a good thing. I find his character deserving horrible things happening to him. Only one story did I find the ending unsatisfactory. In his attempt to infect Lois with HIV he is in fact infected. Then he is shot by I believe Gretchen Kelly. I thought it would have been a much more fitting end to have him live. Have it become known to the world that he was infected and how it happened. Then for him to quickly contract the disease and die a slow death from it alone. For a fictionaly character we all love hating it seems a fitting end that one of his own diabolical plans should bit him in the butt and get him.

I don't wish that on any real person and those who have contracted HIV they have my sincere sympathy and prayers.