Hi,

Great part.

In a secluded place she can scream at him.

More soon, please.

MAF

Hey!!! This part is cool... but too short

Jose

Oh, Sara, that was beautiful! OK, I know everyone says it's too short, but I think you left off at a perfect place. Definitely makes us want to see what happens next!

Can I make a suggestion? Just so it sounds more like Clark (or should I say, more like an American), I would suggest changing "metres" to "yards", and also changing "Puss" to "kitty" (or "kitten").

Other than that, I wouldn't change a thing - that was just perfect!!

- Vicki

Great, Sara. Bravo!

You are a really talented writer.

One little comment:

How tall was the building? Considering every floor at 2 and a half metres... with a few hundred metres, say, 300... at least 120 floors. I don't think Lois would choose such a tall building to jump from.

Anyway, I love it and I'm looking forward to seeing more.

See ya,
AnnaBtG.

w00t, Sara! Good story so far, but your parts... are a little small . I thoroughly enjoyed the introspection, great beginning, and wonderful characterization. I was a little taken aback, initially, as I didn't believe Lois would jump , but considering her grief, it makes sense.

Waiting for more

-Jo

Well I am glad he caught her. But he has to tell her now. She tried killing herself over Clark, she has to tell him to. More soon. Laura

PS Sorry I accidently posted at the end of the story.

Just read parts one and two back to back - brava! Definitely a darker piece, even for TOGOM, and I look forward to seeing where you go with this. I would say this takes the award for most angsty Lois I've ever read in the "post-death" period.

Sara

WOW! I love this. Please post it soon.

Tricia

Another superb part, Sara! Kind of figured it would. Who could resist peeking at such wonderful prose, beautiful poignant introspection and great angst? Not this reader, that's for sure!

Going to be an interesting talk. More! Soon! Please?

LabRat

PS - I corrected an error in the italics code in the segment, which was making the whole thing in italics.

Sara,
nicely done
great part
ditto others
where's part 3
merry

Hey everybody!

And wow!! Thank you all for all of this!

Just a few responses.

Of course you can make a suggestion! Thanks very much for catching this. I try to keep my British phrases to a minimum, though I dont bother about spelling :shrug:

Okay, Anna, good point. However, I have to admit that when I was writing this, I wasnt really focusing on the building, and so didnt think about how high it was. I think it would have to be pretty tall - Superman does spot her on around eye-level, and she has to be able to free-fall for a couple of minutes.

Thanks Rat I knew it was happening, but couldnt figure out how to fix it...

Thanks so much everyone who read this <bg>. I'm just a little stuck at the moment, but hopefully I should have the next part out within a couple of days

Sara.

Sara,
In retrospect, a few hundred metres *is* a bit high. So, I modify my suggestion. Instead of saying a few hundred yards, how about a few hundred feet? That would still be about 20 or 30 stories up, when he catches her - the building itself would be quite a bit taller (I assume she falls for a few seconds before he catches her). Sounds reasonable for a skyscraper in Metropolis.
- Vicki

This is absolutely *terrific*...STUNNING!!

I particularly liked how you described that life was a dance, and how you needed a partner do able to do it, or else you'd just...stand still. Dead inside. Unable to move forward. And I was so

MORE! PLEASE! SOON!