I commented on the other boards, and I'm afraid I'm just going to copy my comment from over there into this thread:
This must be one of the most original and fascinating LnC fanfics ever. I can't remember that the comparatively "idyllic" world of LnC has ever been contrasted with today's creeping sense of paranoia to such chilling effect.
Another way of putting it is that this story reminds us of the innocence of the 1990s that we have lost today. Interestingly, I think that a part of this change may have to do with how we view the roles of villains. In the world of LnC, almost all evil springs directly from a few evil individuals and their cronies. It almost always seems possible to contain the evil that the villains represent if you can only take the worst of the villains down.
In today's world, we now know that evil is bigger than a few individuals. Interestingly, President Bush may have been one of the staunchest believers in the LnC take of the world, with its idea of evil as emanating from a few individuals. When the towers fell in New York, President Bush believed that one of the chief instigators of this evil was Saddam Hussein of Iraq, and starting a war against Iraq and removing Saddam Hussein would therefore make America safe for the future. President Bush started the war against Iraq in February(?) 2003, and declared victory in that war in May the same year. Saddam Hussein was captured on December 13, also in 2003. He was executed on December 30, 2006. If all the woes that we associate with the Iraq war as well as with militant Islamism and terrorism had been caused by Saddam Hussein himself, then all those problems would have been solved when Saddam was captured and executed. But that is not the case at all. Militant Islamism has grown stronger in many Muslim countries since 2003, the Iraq war goes on with no end in sight, and according to
http://icasualties.org/oif an American soldier was killed in Iraq by one of those infamous IEDs as recently as April 18, 2008.
In the real world, then, evil is bigger than individuals. Sometimes it is enough to stop just one man (or woman) to make bad things stop, but often, so often, someone else just takes over from the person who was brought down and keeps the bad things going.
One of the things I have appreciated so much about this story is that it has had no discernible villain, only diffuse, faceless evil. To me, that makes the story so much more realistic and so much more chilling. I realize, of course, that ultimately you may show us that the "time storm" causing havoc in your story may indeed have been caused by a villain, for example Tempus. I would find that a bit disappointing, but on the other hand it would make sense. And possibly, just possibly, capturing Tempus might do to the time storm what capturing Saddam Hussein didn't do to militant Islamism and terrorism: make it go away.
Completely fascinating as always, Shayne!
Ann