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Posted By: Elisabeth FDK: A Triangle with Three Sides 2/? - 04/07/08 01:02 PM
Another solid part. I like the differences you have in your story.

However, there are times you follow the original script when you don't have to. For example, you didn't have to include Martha's art since it wasn't integral to either the original storyline or, I'm assuming, to yours. That might have been a good opportunity to branch out and write your own dialogue.

As I said, this is another solid part. Keep up the good work.


Elisabeth
Posted By: carolm Re: FDK: A Triangle with Three Sides 2/? - 04/07/08 01:12 PM
I enjoyed this. I like the differences from the pilot. I also like that Lois finally admitted that Clark's piece was good just not her style. I'm so sorry for Clark and his having to move around. Even though it's what finally brought him to Metropolis. I understand his reluctance to try for a staff position.

Personally, I liked the inclusion of the art stuff - it shows that some things never change wink . As Elisabeth said, probably not strictly necessary and you could go off on your own there with something else to show us more about this Martha or whatever.

More soon please smile .
Carol
Posted By: Ank. K. S. Re: FDK: A Triangle with Three Sides 2/? - 04/07/08 08:01 PM
I liked Clark's thoughts on why he's so bent on needling Lois laugh

Also loved Perry's standing in the sidelines, ready to referee Lois-Clark hehe

thumbsup thumbsup
Posted By: anonpip Re: FDK: A Triangle with Three Sides 2/? - 04/10/08 05:48 AM
Thanks for the comments!

I did include the art thing to show that this world is very similar to the one we are familiar with. It seemed like a small thing to me but also very emblematic of who Martha Kent was in LnC. And so, I wanted this Martha to be enough like her to have also decided to take the class.

I'm glad this is already seeming somewhat different than the show. More changes (and bigger ones) are coming.
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