Lois & Clark Forums
Posted By: ShayneT Comments: Veritas 1/? - 02/12/08 10:33 PM
Well, what do you think?


[LabRat: Just adding the part no. into the header of the thread.]
Posted By: Lisamaree, the Evil Kiwi Re: Comments: Veritas 1/? - 02/12/08 10:44 PM
Stop talking, start writing!!!

You know I love your stuff, but this first part isn't long enough...
It is cruel to give a tasty sample and not follow through with more!

Can't wait to see how Clark copes with the 'real world'.
Posted By: StarKat Re: Comments: Veritas 1/? - 02/12/08 10:59 PM
I agree with Lisa. You can't leave it there! Please post more soon!

Tara
Posted By: Queen of the Capes Re: Comments: Veritas 1/? - 02/12/08 11:04 PM
GAH!!! eek

Why?!! Why didn't you warn us that this was part 1/? and not a complete-in-itself vignette? How long do we have to wait now for part 2??

Darn it!! I need more!!! grovel
Posted By: countrygurl74 Re: Comments: Veritas 1/? - 02/12/08 11:35 PM
Wow, poor Clark is in for a slight culture shock. I wonder how long it will take them to figure out what happend.
Posted By: TOC Re: Comments: Veritas 1/? - 02/12/08 11:49 PM
Have so little time for feedback, but... wow, Shayne! Your Lois Lane is living on our world? In the ordinary, there-are-no-superheroes and men-can't-fly and there-is-war-in-Iraq world? And she got the name of Lois Lane just because her parents were into a fantasy figure named Superman? And Clark lives in the world of LnC, wherever that might be, where men like him can indeed fly, except there is no Lois there, and Clark is involved with Lana? And then Clark is somehow transported to our world? And the military in our world want to shoot him down for saving an airplane, because they think he is a terrorist?

Oh, wow! What a situation! I just have to wonder, why was Clark transported to our world? Could it possibly be because he needs to be where Lois is, and in this fic she is in the "ordinary" world, not in the world of LnC?

Fantastic! Like the others said, I do hope you will continue.

Ann
Posted By: Framework4 Re: Comments: Veritas 1/? - 02/13/08 12:45 AM
Wow, what a start!
Posted By: MrsMosley Re: Comments: Veritas 1/? - 02/13/08 07:11 AM
WHOA! This is awesome, Shayne. Get back here and post more ASAP!
Posted By: carolm Re: Comments: Veritas 1/? - 02/13/08 08:05 AM
Ditto.

More.

Now.

This afternoon at the latest.

Carol
Posted By: Ank. K. S. Re: Comments: Veritas 1/? - 02/13/08 09:02 AM
what a way to arrive in an alt universe... 1 plane + 1 man.. a flying man, and in a world which is not going to take kindly or as easily to Clark's do-gooder persona thumbsup thumbsup

yay! Another Shayne story smile dance
Posted By: malu Re: Comments: Veritas 1/? - 02/13/08 09:27 AM
The beginning looks great.

Now, where's the rest of the story? wink

My only comment is to what others have been saying in this topic. What I understand is not that Clark (Superman) is being attacked personally, but that an airplane, with no flight plan and no one knows about, which just simply appeared over the U.S. and is moving towards Washington, D.C., is seen as a threat to the nation, especially a few years after 9/11. This paragraph mentions this:

Quote
An unidentified airplane heading for Washington was ominous. There were no records of this commercial jetliner leaving from any airport in the world, and given what had happened six and a half year before, no one was willing to take any chances.
Just my two cents. smile

malu
Posted By: Marcus Rowland Re: Comments: Veritas 1/? - 02/13/08 10:21 AM
This is a very nice idea - Clark is really going to freak everyone out if it's our world!

I wonder if a certain comics company will sue?
Posted By: Snave Re: Comments: Veritas 1/? - 02/13/08 10:52 AM
Shayne:

Quote
Breathing heavily, Lois tried to ignore the pain in her side. If it hadn’t been for the heavy Kevlar vest, she’d be dead again.
Do you mean that the Kevlar vest had saved her yet again from death, or that she had died before and was back?

If the latter, it would be really intriguing; if the former, it's still an interesting red herring.

In either case, this story really reaches out and grabs me! Can't wait for the next (hopefully longer) installment!

-- Snave
Posted By: Cornelia Re: Comments: Veritas 1/? - 02/13/08 12:07 PM
This is a really interesting plot. I already can see people coming at Clark saying "Do you think you´re Superman or something?" And he: "Who is Superman? My name is Clark Kent!" Uh oh... welcome to the real world! laugh

Please continue soon!
Posted By: Queen of the Capes Re: Comments: Veritas 1/? - 02/13/08 12:14 PM
Oh, and don't forget the whole plane-load of people who are *also* now dislocated. eek
Posted By: Shadow Re: Comments: Veritas 1/? - 02/13/08 05:43 PM
Hell of a beginning, Shayne! I can't wait to find out what happens next! I love it when authors mess around with the universe. :p

JD
Posted By: Elisabeth Re: Comments: Veritas 1/? - 02/13/08 08:12 PM
But in this universe everyone knows Clark Kent is Superman, so the name is really moot.

I believe this is the first time anyone has brought a plane-load of witnesses when crossing from one universe into another.

I also believe it is the first time that Superman has ever brought a plane into Washington in a presumably post 9/11 world. Lois, who knows exactly where she is, must have a death threat if she believes she can arrive from Iraq and then sneak past security while there is a possible terrorist attack on DC. :rolleyes:

Elisabeth
Posted By: Deb Re: Comments: Veritas 1/? - 02/13/08 11:19 PM
Interesting premise. Very curious how you play it out.
Posted By: Beth S. Re: Comments: Veritas 1/? - 02/14/08 12:03 PM
Shayne, I don't have a ton of time but I just wanted to add my name to the list of people who are very interested in this story!

Come back with more soon!
Posted By: Laurach Re: Comments: Veritas 1/? - 02/14/08 02:02 PM
Ditto! Too short! More soon. Laura
Posted By: Sheila Re: Comments: Veritas 1/? - 02/14/08 04:14 PM
Shayne, if this is an iota as good as "Family Hour" I'm already hooked! Very nice Shayne.
Quote
Lois Lane. How often had she despised her parents for giving her that name, no matter how into Superman her parents had been? It hadn’t been worth the years of teasing, the snickers, and the double takes when people saw her name on applications.

It hadn’t helped that she’d been drawn to journalism. The name had made her have to work three times as hard as her colleagues just to be taken seriously. She could have changed it, or chosen a pen name, but by the time it had occurred to her she’d been too stubborn.

Her parents had saddled her with the name and she would live up to it.

She just had to hope that it wouldn’t kill her.
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For all that she hated the name Lois Lane, this was a world that desperately needed a Superman.
I am a bit confused right now. Is this *"the Lois Lane"* or are we traveling through worlds?
Quote
Lana was going to kill him.

This was going to be the fourth time he was late for dinner in a row, but it was beginning to be hard for him to care.

Glancing around, Clark stepped into an alleyway. Lana would have an aneurysm if she knew he was still doing this, but flying was the one thing he refused to give up. It was too much a part of him, and even with all the risk, it was one of the only things he enjoyed any more.

He rose into the air quickly, but carefully staying slow enough not to create a sonic boom. Hiding what he was had become a part of him a long time ago. Lana’s countless diatribes had pushed the point home.

Yet the longer he went hiding what he was, the more distant he felt from Lana. All she saw was the image of normality that she wanted to see. He felt like he was drowning, and now that she was pushing for marriage, he sometimes found himself wishing he could fly away forever and never come back.

He’d been losing bits and pieces of himself for as long as he knew her, sacrificing the things that were important to him for her sake. It was almost as though she’d been intentionally isolating him from everyone else in order to have him to herself.
I sense this "Lana who doesn't really love Clark for who/what he is except to her convenience" theme to your stories, which is fine because I love it when she has Clark convinced that no one will ever accept him...and then Lois comes along and shatters her plan!

Was that a run-on sentence? rotflol
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The world had changed, and he was going to find out what had happened to it. It wasn’t just the disappearance of Metropolis. It was everything. The attitudes of the air traffic controllers, the threats of blowing an American plane out of the sky. This was a scary new world.
Okay, Shayne, hurry back so I can start to figure things out! rotflol

~Sheila
Posted By: BJ Re: Comments: Veritas 1/? - 02/14/08 08:17 PM
Shayne, you have such a beautiful style. I'm just in awe of how each scene flows between Lois and Clark from threat of death to rain to lightning to bringing the injured to safety.

I'll ditto what everyone else has said about being intrigued with the premise of your story. Those poor people on the plane - Clark saved them, but if they can't figure out how to get back to their own world, it'll affect their families the same.

I can't wait to see what happens next.
BJ
Posted By: SuperRoo Re: Comments: Veritas 1/? - 02/17/08 09:47 PM
WHOA! I am very interested to see what happens next!!!!!

Excellent so far!

Quote
Lois Lane. How often had she despised her parents for giving her that name, no matter how into Superman her parents had been? It hadn’t been worth the years of teasing, the snickers, and the double takes when people saw her name on applications.

It hadn’t helped that she’d been drawn to journalism. The name had made her have to work three times as hard as her colleagues just to be taken seriously. She could have changed it, or chosen a pen name, but by the time it had occurred to her she’d been too stubborn.

Her parents had saddled her with the name and she would live up to it.

She just had to hope that it wouldn’t kill her.
Hehe - I like and I am now made very curious!

Quote
He’d been losing bits and pieces of himself for as long as he knew her, sacrificing the things that were important to him for her sake. It was almost as though she’d been intentionally isolating him from everyone else in order to have him to herself.
I like how that was put. Poor Clark. mad

Quote
A moment later he blinked, his vision returning. He stared below him. Metropolis was gone.
What!? What on earth happened?

Quote
The world had changed, and he was going to find out what had happened to it. It wasn’t just the disappearance of Metropolis. It was everything. The attitudes of the air traffic controllers, the threats of blowing an American plane out of the sky. This was a scary new world.
Oh dear. Where and when is he?

I'm very curious to see what happens next! I do hope there's a part two already up.
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