What an adorable story!
Clark sighed again. He'd sighed so many times since they had left the newsroom that he thought he might be deflating. With every sigh, the air was escaping his body little by little, and if she kept it up, he'd probably lose so much air that he'd just sag to the pavement like an empty balloon.
An empty balloon wearing a business suit and glasses.
What a mental image!!! Oh, my!!!
“I didn't mean to yell,” he told her, with the absolute last scrap of his patience. “But I'd like to point out that you've been yelling at me ever since we left the office.”
She sniffed. “That's different.”
<groan> <giggle> rolleyes>
He thought about not taking the bait, but then he realized that this had the potential to be one of those conversations that led to make-up sex... and Lois wasn't the only one who could be calculating.
Make-up sex... and this is posted in the gfic folder?
“How is it different?” He added just the slightest touch of belligerence to his tone. Just a hint, so she'd know that he was still annoyed.
“It just is. It's not the way we operate. I gripe, and you make me feel better. That's the way it's supposed to be.”
I like her logic, at least!
And the ensuing dialogue about griping was so good that it made me think about Sue.
“Yeah, because that would have been really romantic. Gorgeous sunset, surrounded by friends and family on a hilltop in.... Hey, does it ever bother you that we have no idea where we got married?”
It was her turn to sigh. “I try not to think about it.”
“Yeah, me too.” He shook his head as if to clear it, which was something he nearly always had to do when he thought about their wedding. “Anyway, wherever we were, it wasn't exactly the time to be bringing up griping privileges.”
You in the know of the show would know. I'm at a loss to understand what they are talking about.
“Lois!” He shot her a disapproving look and then added in a lower voice, “Feel how heavy this thing is. I don't know how Bruce stands it. It would make me claustrophobic.”
Bruce, eh? Batman? Sounds as if Lara was the author here. Then again... claustrophobia? Who posted that wonderful piece about Clark's claustrophobia? Was it Laura?
“Probably. But the children will love it, and I'm the kind of guy who's willing to make the sacrifice for a bunch of great kids who've gotten a rough start in life.” He gave his wife a pointed look.
“Sheesh, Kent. You forgot to cue the violins before you said that.”
So funny!!! (And so Clark! And
so Lois!!!) “See, here are the Santas, and this is our nicest one... feel how soft his coat is.” She stroked the plush Santa suit rapturously. “It's a little more expensive,” she warned him, “but really, it's worth it. Some of the other Santas have told me that the cheaper ones can chafe... you know, in places guys don't like to be chafed.”
She tittered and winked at him, and he felt himself start to blush, which was stupid since he'd never chafed anywhere, ever, and wouldn't this time, either, but why wasn't his wife coming to his rescue? What had happened to teamwork, partnership... good old-fashioned jealousy?
So funny!!!! (But that blond bimbo is going to regret flirting with Clark... and Clark is going to regret it too, I'll bet!)
“Of course,” she cooed, “nothing could top the way you looked in that telegraph operator costume that time...”
Am I missing something here??? What do telegraph operators wear?
“Well...” Lois gave the girl a broad, conspiratorial wink. “That was back when we were newlyweds... trying new things. Trust me, he made it work for him.”
“Lois!” Clark's face was flaming.
“Uh....” The poor girl seemed completely flummoxed, but she'd let go of Clark's arm, so that was progress of a sort. If he was still speaking to Lois later, which seemed unlikely, he might even thank her.
“Come on... go try this one on.”
“Are you crazy?” she asked. “That costume isn't going to hide this bump.” She put her hand protectively over the slight swelling of her abdomen. “There's no such thing as a pregnant elf, Clark.”
She's pregnant!!! (Somehow, I think that narrows the field of candidate authors....)
“I'm not being a pregnant elf!” she snapped.
“Please?” He gave her his best puppy-dog eyes. “I don't want any elf but you, Lois.”
“What kind of a message would that send to the kids?” she demanded. “If I wore that, I'd be the naughty elf. The elf that's sleeping with the boss. The one who got caught in the back seat of Santa's sleigh. Is that what you want?”
The pregnant elf got caught in the back seat of Santa's sleigh!!!! Author X, you're killing me!!!
“Exactly!” she snapped. “I have to entertain children. When have you ever seen me do that, Clark? When have you ever seen me even willingly talk to a child? I don't talk to kids if I can help it because I never know what to say. Kids adore you. They look at you like you're some kind of hero even when you're not dressed as... you know.” She made a little flying motion with her hand. “But they look at me like they're afraid I'm going to bite their little heads off or shut them in the oven. And I don't need a whole night of that right now.”
“And would all of that have something to do with this?” he asked, putting his hand gently on the swell of her belly. “With the fact that next year, we'll be playing Santa for our own kid?”
Oh, poor Lois! Her impending motherhood is spooking her.
“Give it a try,” he begged. He smiled down at her. “Be my naughty elf... please?”
She giggled, and he knew he'd won. “Will I get to sit on Santa's lap?” she asked, batting her eyes at him and lowering her voice seductively.
“Oh, yeah,” he assured her. “Santa's looking forward to it.”
That's adorable!!!
Okay. Considering the quality of the writing and the dialogue, the humour, Clark's claustrophobia and Lois's pregnancy, I'm guessing that the author is none other than... Laura S herself!!! Ta-daaah!!! (Of course, it could be Terry, too... or Queenie...)
Ann
I have no idea who the author is, but the story was fabulous. 
Glad you all are liking the story as well as I did.
. I’ve always been of the opinion that something about elves is inherently funny, and it seems that Author X agrees with me.
Evil woman! 
