An Early Revelation - Part 2 - Feedback - Lois & Clark Fanfic Message Boards

I'm really enjoying this scenario and can hardly wait to read more.

Good job!

Irene

I'm usually a very lazy reviewer (note pathetic post count below), but I thought I'd pass on that I just adored this paragraph:

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“Uh… Hi.” His words were a balm to her confusion-chafed heart. So typical of Clark to be awkward and unsure. THIS was the man she knew and worked with. THIS was the man who brought her coffee every day with one and a half artificial sweeteners and a smidgen of skim milk. Her brain frowned. This was also the man who lied to her constantly. This was also the man ran out on her regularly without proper explanation. This was also the man who didn’t trust her enough to tell her the truth. This was the man who… Her brain paused. This was also the man who was standing dumbly in front of all his colleagues making a moron of himself after being outed on national television. Well, what were partners for anyway? If she could just get him alone in the conference room then she could give him the proper tongue lashing he deserved.

It's so Lois! It's so Clark! And yet, it seems to have a unique flavor compared to any other revelation scenes I have read, at least that I can recall. I love that Lois is able to instantly recognize that for all that Clark has been cast in a very new light, he is still just Clark. And for all the fury she is rightfully feeling, she's still got his back. What are partners for indeed, if not to keep you from making a moron of yourself after being outed as a revered superhero on national television?

Only Lois...

I'm glad Clark decided to include Jimmy in his personal conference, and I look forward to seeing how he (Clark) and Lois will adjust to this new circumstance. I hope they are successful at remaining the "hottest team in town."

Post more soon, please!
~C Noetal

Aaaah, I loved how you wrote some "Lois passages" here!

And who can resist guppy-like Clark?

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“Uh… Hi.” His words were a balm to her confusion-chafed heart. So typical of Clark to be awkward and unsure. THIS was the man she knew and worked with. THIS was the man who brought her coffee every day with one and a half artificial sweeteners and a smidgen of skim milk.

Lois's heart warms up to her partner, who brings her such excellent coffee every day.

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Her brain frowned.

This is a killer! Her brain frowned! Oh, the mental image it creates!

Ann

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This was also the man who was standing dumbly in front of all his colleagues making a moron of himself after being outed on national television.

*snort* I love this line.

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He was acutely aware of Lois sitting, silent and tense beside him, but he wasn’t ready to tackle that monster yet. Take it bit by bit.

Amen to that!

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“I need you to know that out of all the people I…hid from, you were the one I wanted to tell the most. You were the one I was going to tell. I was just…” He paused. How could he explain the complexity of his decision making? “I just wanted to wait until the right moment,” he finished lamely. Lois’ wooden face remained still. His heart sank. “Please understand Lois.”

It's so Clark of him, but unfortunately he can't save himself from the bomb Diana dropped!

This is just superbly written, and I can't wait to see where it goes next!

JD

Good job, more soon. Laura

I'm very interested in where this story will go. I'm a huge sucker for people finding out that he's Superman. Great start, and I really like your writing style. I'm looking forward to reading more.

oooh! Yay, another part!

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Clark Kent, her partner of over a year had suddenly become the god in a cape she had been pursuing relentlessly, shamelessly for just as long.

Oh, Lois, Lois... he didn't just suddenly become him - he was him all along. *giggles*

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This, of course, occurred at the exact same time as an international celebrity had become the man whom she was just recently starting to warm up to in just the right way.

hehehe - love how you put that!

This part had me going "aww!" and really laugh out loud (especially at Jimmy's reaction!) and I seriously enjoyed it very much!

Can't wait for the next part!

Thanks for all the fdk! I'm glad that you enjoyed my "Lois" section. I had to work long and hard to get the tone right. For some reason, Clark comes easy to me, but Lois is a challenge (just ask my BR!) Thanks for letting me know that it's coming out okay!

Whew! You guys are making me blush with all the positive fdk!

A nice second part. Okay, the secret is out and everyone knows. How is Clark going to deal with it? Will he find a way to undo this or will he arrange with the facts as they are?

Great to see you back with more. Good part!

wow - i really don't know which part to quote because I like everything

. I'm really curious which way you will take and how it's going to end some time (but don't let us wait too long, ok

)

Beth - This is fantastic!

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It was like she was driving a train. When the show started, she was in control, making her scheduled stops without any difficulty. As Diana's expose continued, the train sped up, but she was still desperately clinging to the hope that it was all a hoax.

I continue to just adore your imagery. You have a real knack for metaphor and paint the most wonderful images in my mind.

I really liked the fact that Clark told his story to Lois, Perry, and Jimmy and then wrote an article on it as opposed to allowing the Top Copy article to be all that was out there.

Great job!