Lois & Clark Forums
Posted By: ShayneT Comments: Strong 9 - 06/24/07 10:22 AM
Well, what did you think?
Posted By: mervoparkite Re: Comments: Strong 9 - 06/24/07 10:40 AM
OK, I have NO time to respond properly--I have to be at church in 5 min to drive kids to camp. I'll write more later--just know--This is good!!! and the ending--Oh Wow!! smile1

vonciel
Posted By: Marcus Rowland Re: Comments: Strong 9 - 06/24/07 11:10 AM
I wonder what he sees when he looks at Clark? He seems to be aware that he isn't human.
Posted By: TOC Re: Comments: Strong 9 - 06/24/07 11:44 AM
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It seemed strange for a man outwardly as honest as Clark to be hiding things, but there was something about him that had been nagging her for a while.

Something told her that there was more to him than met the eye. It wasn't just his quiet confidence, his competence, or his excellent driving.

It certainly wasn't that he was attractive, although he undeniably was.

In the few days she'd known him, he'd somehow grown more handsome than he was when she'd first met him.

Deep down, she liked him. She'd been through a great deal over the past few days, and the last thing she could have tolerated was a talkative, annoying partner.

He'd been sensitive enough to known what she'd needed, and he'd kept quiet.

Or perhaps that's just how he was. Either way, his presence soothed her. In her old life she might have thought he was boring. She'd have been so busy chasing the next story that he would have faded into the background.

But out here, all alone with her thoughts, she could see him more clearly.
Sorry to quote all of this, but I very much like how you have this new, changed Lois respond to Clark. I like how you have Lois contemplate how she would have reacted to Clark in her old life. Back then she might not have been too impressed. Here, however, she needs help in a way she didn't before, and she senses that Clark is the one who can give it to her. I wonder if she doesn't sense, too, that Clark is a genuinely good person, and that is something she needs to hold on to now that she is going to fight vampires.

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“My name is Lois Lane and this is my partner Clark Kent,” Lois said, reaching out to shake hands. The woman's hands were warm and human.
Wow, what a comment! "The woman's hands were warm and human."

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From the darkness, a deep, accented voice spoke.

“Are you here to kill me then, killer of men?”

Lois froze.
*shudders* He knows that Lois has killed!

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“Come to finish off the work of the Beast?” the voice continued, this time closer. “Brought your own creature and the monster inside.”
What does he mean? "Brought your own creature" - does he mean Clark? And who is the monster inside?

Again, what a fascinating chapter, Shayne!

Ann
Posted By: mervoparkite Re: Comments: Strong 9 - 06/24/07 08:23 PM
OK, I'm home. I'll try not to be too much of an echo of what has already been said.

As I said earlier--this was very good.

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The problem wouldn’t have been finding a good meal. It would have been avoiding being one.
[Linked Image] This is such a great line.

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If monsters were real, why hadn’t she ever heard about them in her own town? Did they only exist in Sunnydale, or were they like cockroaches?

Did every city have its own monsters, hidden away where the average person couldn’t find them?

Life would have been easier if she’d never started that gunrunning story, if she’d never heard of Sunnydale.
This introspection is wonderful. Mosters are everywhere, unfortunately, not all of them are as un-himan as vampires--some are just people who are Plain Old Evil--for example: Lex. I wonder if he is in league with any of them in Metropolis. . . might explain a few things.

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Lois glanced over at Clark, who had spent the entire interview silently staring at the wall with his glasses pulled down to the bridge of his nose.
He really needs to be more careful. eek I guess he really hasn't had that much practice around truely observent people up to this point.

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From the darkness, a deep, accented voice spoke.

“Are you here to kill me then, killer of men?”
[Linked Image] I really don't know much about these guys--but I'm guessing they have some sort of 6th sense that allows them to ID otherworldly types. He certianly seems to recongnize something about Lois and her past.

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“Come to finish off the work of the Beast?” the voice continued, this time closer. “Brought your own creature and the monster inside.”
Not only does he recognize Lois, but Clark as well. Very Interesting.

BTW--are we going to get to see the Blue suit in this story??? [Linked Image] --Just wondering wink

Vonceil
Posted By: Laurach Re: Comments: Strong 9 - 06/24/07 08:55 PM
Still here. More soon. Laura
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