Wow! Yes, I know that almost everyone before me has said that, but it most certainly bears repeating. This was the first part of an absolutely incredible story, Lynn. I was completely caught up while reading it - I literally had tears in my eyes while Lois was watching the video. Your portrayal of Lois' grief is so poignant and heartwrenching.
![[Linked Image]](http://images.bravenet.com/brpics/smilie/brokenheart.gif)
I loved the transformation that Lois went through as she watched the video and figured the whole thing out. It's interesting, because with as many TOGOM stories as we have out there, I don't think anyone has written it with the "no blood" twist, and yet when my husband walked into the room last week and saw a few minutes of that particular scene (he's *not* a fan), that was what he commented on...
And I loved the rapid gamut of emotions that Lois ran through once she realized the truth. Certainly they were all the emotions that we *know* that she would experience at the revelation, no matter how it came about, yet she quickly realized that the most important thing was to talk to him, and that he was still alive.
The imagery and introspection is wonderful. I was going to quote some of my favorite sections, but I realized that I would be pulling out way too much, so I'll just say that I loved it all...No, wait, I have to quote something, I found this a particularly bittersweet moment for Lois...
Suddenly, on the screen, Clark glanced upward in a swinging arc. She gasped, for in doing so, he must have discovered the camera’s existence. As if in a dream, he looked directly at her, the camera’s eye her own as it recorded his face in a permanent magnetic code. The glare of the lights was absent, and through the frames she could see the eyes that haunted the few hours of sleep she managed each night. As sweet as the richest chocolate and more precious to her than anything on earth, the brown orbs stared back at her, lingering for the briefest pause. Then, a slow grin lifted the corners of his mouth, the sensuous lips parting to reveal a smile that lifted her for the smallest second out of the depth of her anguish and back into the light. Her heart pounded so painfully that she clutched her chest. As quickly as it happened, he looked downward again, turned and strode off the screen. The sunlight vanished, hidden once again by storm clouds heavy with salty raindrops.
My impression was that Perry had indeed figured it out, and given the tape to Lois so that she could do the same. And I liked that idea, for the same reasons that Kaethel mentioned in her earlier post.
I know that Kaethel and Wendy suggested posting every other day in order to garner lots of comments on your story...but lots of authors post a section
each day - that's kind of a nice compromise between being evil (like K&W
) and appeasing anxious readers.
But no matter what you do, you've definitely got readers waiting for the rest of this one, Lynn, and you'll have us nagging you for the next story too. Welcome to the boards, and what a way to introduce yourself!
KathyM
Lynn, this is incredible! The introspection is so lyrical, so heartwrenching, so vivid, and the way you write makes Lois's feelings seem so real! I was particularly impressed by the moment when she realises there was no blood and watches the scene again and again. The mixture of panic and reason battling in her was extremely well done. I can't find proper words to express how this first section moved me; it brought me very close to tears, and few stories have that power over me.
It is absolutely wonderful!
I'm looking forward to what she has to say to one Superhero!