So, are you guys happy now? Lois is gone, leaving Lex with Mayson and some green glowing bullets, and Clark for whoever wants to fight over him. (I belive Kae's first in line?) You better find something to protect him if you want to keep him, though!

Now, Wendy, bring on the real part!

edit: oops... helps if I don't skim over the agonising pain. Sorry, no line this time...

I'm so proud of you!

Thanks again, Wendy, for making this day even better then it already was!

Saskia

Yes!!! Wendy, I *knew* that you would give us a Tank Ending for this story, and you certainly didn't disappoint. I think you pulled out all the stops on this one. Most indeed.

Where's that 2x4 to hit Clark on the head for not realizing that it was indeed a cry for help he was hearing? Since, as you wrote, his pseudonym indeed was not yet common knowledge, the lunkhead should have twigged that it therefore *had* to be Lois calling him...

And the bullets... Isn't it convenient that Lex liked the look of that glowing green stone and had bullets fashioned from it, and then just happened to use them in his gun tonight? My poor Clark.

And now Kaethel will be unhappy, because maybe she won't get Clark to herself after all. Well, if Lois can't have him, I guess no one else can either...

Masterful piece of writing. Now where's the real ending?

KathyM

Hey, hey, hey!! What's this? What mess did you make? Lois is right that it's going to be bloody (no pun intended) difficult to get that carpet clean! Mind you, maybe it's a second-rate carpet and Lex doesn't care. But what's this about green-glowing bullets and getting my Clark (yes, *my* Clark) close to Lois when there's such a thing in her? This wasn't in the plan, Wendy! Besides, there's something missing! Yep, the last line is missing. Absolutely. Stop raising that eyebrow at me, I can see you! What about the following lines?


And then Kaethel arrived, dragged Clark away from the evil bullet, comforted him, and after a while (not too long because Kaethel isn't the best at patience) they got together, then engaged, then married, and they lived happily ever after. The end.

Oh, no, wait, another para is required:

Once he got tired of Mayson, Lex disappeared with his evilly glowing bullets; as it turned out, he had met a very cool (but still evil) woman called Elena, had fallen hopelessly in love with her, and decided to focus all his attention on reviving the Dr Tempus from Yvonne's "Misery" so that his beloved would be happy. The end.

There! All fixed! Now there's not even the need for the real ending. ) And finally the agonising pain that he felt, both physical and psychological, when he discovered Lois's body, and the evil explanation for Clark's physical agony. Pure evil! Worse than evil! There has to be a stronger word than "evil", and it fits!

All in all, another excellent one!

Kaethel (um... I was kidding when I said there was no need for the real ending, btw!)

Wendy, brilliant Tank ending, though it left a few people regretting that they couldn't have Clark for themselves. I noticed you even threw in a little mention of the Swiss Alps (a very small, and I emphasize small, running joke) , though it's Mayson who will be making the guest appearance there.

It's absolute genius to have Clark die of kryptonite poisoning while believing he's actually dying of a broken heart, especially when just minutes before he was expecting a wonderfully romantic interlude. Lunkhead.

Not sure of the bloody carpet. Lois was never much into cleaning, so I'm not sure why that was her last thought before leaving this plane. It was funny, though.

Still mystified why there wasn't the appearance of a lady with a cat (take your pick, ladies ) who saves Clark at the last moment, comforts him in his terrible grief, and ends up living happily ever after with him.

Wendy, you're Truly evil!

However, I would like to point out that in a Tank *Wilson* ending, Clark goes away, vanishes, ends up with Kaethel, whatever, and Lois is consoled by a Bass-playing, comic book-loving, bearded, slightly older gentleman who can't stand kids....

Irene

No no no you missed the haircut! So evil Wendy what did you do with the real Wendy? You know, the sweet , good and kind Wendy, that posts wonderful stories in regular installments<g> I hope we see her soon or we may have to do something rash about it!

What? No haircut?

Actually, I knew that even if Wendy did a wonderfully evil false ending that she wouldn't include a haircut. That's just to get back at me for the little 'in-betweenie' I tried to slip in.

Clearly the most evil part of this was robbing Kae, and the others of their chance to step into Lois' place with Clark. Now that's a true Tank ending.

Tank (who finds it amusing that most of the 'Tank' endings that others write are much more evil than anything Tank ever wrote himself)

EEP!!!!! My poor boy!!

/me sobs, then perks up!!!! Hey!! I'm a lady with four cats!!

I'll save Clark from the evil green bullet~! <g>

/me fastens small red capes to her Supercats and sends them on an all important mission to rescue Clark.

Said Superkitties swoop upon the crime scene and lift Clark up by arms and legs and fly him to Texas where he is revived by unmentionable means and lives happily ever after.

There!! That's much better!!

Missy *and* Clark

Fine TE, Wendy!!

LOL! A nice variation on 'investigative' reporter. I like it.

Or Lois decides to marry Lex to save her life and they shoot Clark together when he arrives


Anyway, I knew there would be a TE somewhere, but it doesn't mean I'm not looking forward to the original one!!

See ya,
AnnaBtG.

Wow...nothing's like being one of the people who inspires a writer to ruin any person's good mood with a Tank-ending! (who's cheering for Kaethel - go and get Clark before it's too late!!)

Wendy

WOW! An excellent Tank ending!

Tricia (Who can't wait to read the real part. )

/me peeks carefully into the folder, getting ready to dodge any flying shears or !!!!! being thrown in her direction...

LOL! It’s interesting that you should say that, Kathy and Anna. I had absolutely no intention whatsoever of writing a TE for this story. But then I had Sas and Tank and Kaethel and Pelican all speculating delightedly on what could happen should Lex actually pull that trigger and Superman fail to save Lois, and I decided that I just couldn’t disappoint such loyal readers. So... this had to be written.

And it seems that it was appreciated:
Thanks, Saskia and Kaethel! I’m glad that you liked it.

Pel, you are most welcome! After all the wonderful feedback you’ve been giving me, both here and in private email, it’s the least I can do. I’m glad you liked it!

ROFLMAO Tank!

And it is interesting to see how many people were cheering at the TE... until you got to the ‘Clark dead’ stage. So you don’t like it quite so evil, do you? <g>

Oh, and Tank, just for you:

Insert somewhere in the scene where Lex is gloating over Lois’s dead body:

That do you?

Thanks for not lynching me, all of you!


Wendy

Okay, this clearly hasn't had the benefit of my usual expert BR service, so I'll just check it over...

Well, there seems to be a scene missing at the end, Wendy, so I'll just sketch something in and you can work on it as you see fit.

*********

He really must find out, one of these days, just what the rock was, and if there was any more of it. Who knew - maybe it could be useful.


*********

Back at Lois Lane's apartment, the door bell was ringing loudly.

Someone banged on the door. "Ms Lane, I've come to fix your computer!" It was a woman's voice, a low, alto sound with just a hint of a Scottish lilt.

The door swung open, much to the surprise of the computer technician. Apparently someone had left it open, and her robust knock had been enough to push it ajar.

She stepped hesitantly inside. "Ms Lane?"

A terrible scene greeted her. A woman, presumably Ms Lane, lay bloody and dead on the carpet. Close by, a man in a red cape, blue tights and red boots also lay motionless on the floor.

"Oh, my God!" she exclaimed. "Clark Kent!"

She rushed over to the man. He was barely breathing. Immediately, she realised there must be kryptonite nearby.

"Clark!" she cried, shaking his shoulder. "Wake up! You have to get out of here!"

He stirred slowly. "What...?" He pushed himself up on one elbow. "Who...who's that?" he gasped, indicating the dead woman.

"I think that must be Ms Lane."

"Who?" he said, frowning. "I...I don't seem to remember..."

Clearly, the kryptonite had affected his memory. The computer technician tugged at his shoulder. "Never mind," she urged. "You have to get out of here right now!"

"But..." He obviously didn't want to abandon the dead woman without calling the appropriate authorities.

"It's okay, this is a Mary-Sue fantasy so the normal rules of decent behaviour don't apply," explained the computer technician.

"Oh, okay," he breathed.

She hauled him to his feet, and together they staggered out of the apartment. Almost immediately, he recovered a little, and by the time they were outside on the street, he was
able to walk on his own.

"So are you Mary-Sue?" he asked curiously.

"Um...well, I guess you can call me that for now," she replied. "We'll think of something better once you sweep me off my feet and marry me."

He gave her a hug. Her legs almost turned to jelly as his strong arms wrapped around her, but she managed to remain standing as he murmured, "Thank you for rescuing me, Mary-Sue. I don't know about sweeping and marrying, but those beautiful dark eyes of yours certainly are beguiling."

"Why, thank you, Clark," said the computer technician, as they walked down the street and into the sunset which had miraculously appeared despite the fact that it was nearly midnight.

"And did I mention that I have a thing for tall women?" he added.

The computer technician looked fondly at him from her lofty almost-five-foot-eleven-ness. "No, and I bet you didn't know I have a thing for guys who moonlight in tights."

"Gosh, Mary-Sue. It looks like we were made for each other," he said.

"Yes, Clark."

He stopped walking and turned to her, taking her hands in his. "If this is a fantasy, do you think it would be okay if I kissed you right now even though I hardly know you?"

"Oh, I think that would be acceptable," she said airily.

He gathered her into his arms, and very soon the computer technician was the happiest woman in the entire world of Folcdom.

The End

What can I say? ROFLMAO, Yvonne!!!

And, of course, while you three are doing that... I'll just sneak in and rescue Clark myself.


Wendy

Previously on When Mary-Sue Met a Devastated Clark

... until their world crashed around them when Lex reappeared out of nowhere (El had dumped him for the resurrected Dr Tempus) and swept Mary-Sue off her feet. She promptly ended her relationship with Clark for the fast and furious adventure of living with such a clever and ingenious man. (Life with Clark, was, after all, pretty dull once you got used to the tights and red briefs.)

Clark was walking aimlessly around the streets of Metropolis, feeling dejected and lonely, when he ran into a red-haired woman (literally). He caught her just before she fell, and felt his spirits lift up immediately. They profusely apologised to each other for being so careless, and he realised that she spoke with a French accent. Immediately reminded of his travels, he invited her for coffee and they talked until the crack of dawn.

Clark realised that the girl (whose name was Marie-Sue - a weird coincidence, but the different spelling made him shrug away the memories of Mary-Sue) was someone he really liked (hey, this is a fantasy, I can dream, too), and so within a few months, they were married and lived happily ever after.

The end.

...until Clark remembered he really *did* have a thing for tall women and divorced Marie-Sue for a life of Scottish mayhem with Mary-Sue.

Y.

Fortunately, Marie-Sue bought high-heeled shoes and dragged Clark back home, where French mayhem ensued.

K.

But then Elena persuaded Dr Tempus to go back in the past and save Lois from the evil Lex's bullet. Convinced by love of Elena that he really needed to separate Clark from the various Mary Sues and Marie-Sues who dominated his life, Tempus brought the very confused Lois Lane several weeks into the future, where she was reunited with the love of her life.

Tank Wilson and Lois Lane lived happily ever after. And Clark Kent found eternal happiness in the arms of a tall Irish university lecturer, who might not have brown eyes, but knew how to keep him happy.


The End

Methinks Dr Richards is confused. I would never send my love back to the past, not even for a very short time! And surely not in the company of that Lois Lane!!!

Mrs Tempus

...until Clark remembered *again* that he had a thing for tall women, especially if accompanied with the hint of a Scottish accent, and went on a year-long search for the woman of his dreams.

*********
ONE YEAR LATER

"Mary-Sue!"

"Clark!"

"I've found you at last! Marry me and save me from all these writers who want to kidnap me."

"I'm all yours, Clark!"

The Definitive and Very Final End.

Y.

Elena, the Evil-One (with a capital E and a capital O), thought this was all going too well, though, and so she decided to have a bit of fun. She started off by bringing Lex back into the heart of things, and Lex proposed to the tall Irish lecturer, who eagerly accepted because she'd always secretly liked him.

Clark found himself alone and abandoned again, but the red-haired Marie-Sue (who got in there before Mary-Sue - Hah! - all right, it looks like Mary-Sue got in there first, but with the time difference and all we'll say Marie-Sue snatched him anyway and Mary-Sue married a clone that Marie-Sue had planted there to fool Mary-Sue) came to the rescue, though still giving him a big kick in the tush for being as faithful as a weather vane.

K.

..and with the strain of all the alternate endings, time protected itself by spawning many different time lines in which Missy, Kaethel, Yvonne, and Wendy got the Clark of their choice and lived happily ever after.

Meanwhile in the original timeline, Tank got tired of the woman with the bad haircut and left her for a bassoon player. That left Lois free and available for the next man who would never think to change her (even her hair)...

Please, call me Mrs Tempus.

HEY!!!! Kaethel took my Clark!!!!!

Give him back NOW!!!!!

Missy

Hey! We can all have him!!!

[img]http://images.fotki.com/v1/photos/1/11220/95624/Gang4plusguest-vi.jpg?995580901[/img]


Wendy

In all the confusion over who will get Clark and Lois, no one will notice a tall blond Dutch girl snatching away Lex for herself. At least this woman will keep her man without having to fight over him.

And as this woman also knows all those Clark lovers will try to protect their man, she makes sure there is lots of Kryptonite around Clark. She provides Lex with lots of guns (he proved to able to shoot and aim very well in that great story) so he could fight of all the woman who want revenge for the loss of their hero.

So in the end there's just one winner. Okay two, since Mrs Tempus is happy as well in the Alps.

Sas

<wheeze> can't . . . breathe . . . </wheeze>

Evil!

LOL, Roger!

I suddenly feel the urge to add a little piece, too:

Meeting in the stairs

A young girl walked into the building, and stared questioningly at what was just before her eyes: Four women and one man, who seemed to be dating all of them. The weirdest thing about it was that none of the women looked mad at him.
Anyway, she decided to take the elevator to the fifth floor, when the man took her hand.

"You know, you may be only 15, but you are beautiful. Do you want to be my girlfriend?"

"Sorry," she replied, "but I don't trust a man who dates 4 women a time. Besides, you're too old for me."

And then, she walked in the elevator and disappeared.

The End

AnnaBtG. (who likes Clark far too much, but tried to be original )

Well done Wendy
merry

Hi,

Total shock!

MAF