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Posted By: Classicalla FDK: The Girl's Not Attractive 21 - 01/15/07 10:42 PM
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“Ben, a little head’s up would have been nice,” he said to him. “When did *they* get together, anyway?”
In the first few seasons of Smallville, I just knew Pete and Lana would end up together. So remind me... Did Clark and Lana have sex in your story?


I believe Clark is a little miffed at Lois for not keeping her mouth shut...


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“No. Hormonal flare-ups,” Lana told her.
Love those hormonal flare-ups.


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Recognizing that extending that olive branch didn’t come easily, Lois held out her hand to Lana. “I’m glad we finally met. Actually, I’m dying to hear some childhood stories about Clark. Maybe we can go to the Talon sometime and catch up?”
Oh, come on, Lois! You just called her a bitch. And Lana was awfully gracious.


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And no, I haven’t really parachuted before, but it can’t be that hard.
Oh, yeah, right, Lois....


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Lois took a deep breath. “I love you more,” she said, kissing him back. “Don’t worry, Smallville, I’ll be fine.”


Pete kissed his wife and softly rubbed her growing belly. “Be back soon, honey,” he said. “Clark, I’ve got your cell phone number; if anything goes wrong, I’ll call.”
Oh, great. Clark and Lana alone. Well, okay, I’m glad they came to terms.


Lois... Please DON’T break something...
Let me get this straight, okay? Lois - who has absolutely no experience with a parachute - is going to drop into a wheat field (which is not flat and is therefore likely to at least twist her ankle on landing), gather samples of Kryptonite-laced wheat in a heavy lead-lined box which has every likelihood of being lost from the shock of opening her chute, and then get picked up on a tether from the same plane flying by? And you expect that no one will see and investigate a parachute floating down into a wheat field with several miles worth of visibility in any direction? And the pilot - who definitely should know better - agrees to this nutty plan?

Um, sorry, but this is almost as unbelievable as a flying man from another planet. The US Army has experimented with flyby pickup systems in the past, and the one constant is that the person being picked up is subjected to several tons of pressure on being yanked skyward. At the very least, Lois's shoulders and/or elbows would be dislocated, and since she's a 'plus' sized girl, that makes it even more dicey. I can't believe this will come close to working.

But then, maybe that's what you're going for, Lois jumping into the water without checking the depth or clarity or presence of monsters. It would be a terrific way to introduce tension and conflict into your story.
Posted By: TOC Re: FDK: The Girl's Not Attractive 21 - 01/16/07 12:12 PM
Well, Chris, Terry and I probably don't agree about your story, because I positively love it! I simply love your fesity Lois.

Because I'm the staunchest Lois fan in the world, I like the idea that Lois, too, is "larger than life", and then I don't mean her extra body mass in your story. No, I just love the idea that Lois is her very own kind of amazing and indomitable heroine. I love the idea that she can get away with stunts that seem unlikely, or, in this case, admittedly totally improbable. To me, Lois's "specialness" is part of the fact that she is Clark's soulmate. And honestly, people, how improbable is Clark? It's not just the fact that he can fly. How likely is it that he could lead a double life and make everybody think that Clark Kent can't possibly be Superman because Clark wears glasses and combs his hair differently? Okay, in your story his cover is blown, but he kept his secret for quite some time anyway.

I don't want Lois to be like "your" Lois in every story. I deeply admire Terry's Lois in "Rebuilding Superman". And for all the fact that Rac's Lois really is a superpowered superheroine, Rac's Lois is fallible, vulnerable and full of doubt. Like I said, I deeply admire those stories and those portraits of Lois. But surely it's not necessary that everybody agrees on a "canon" Lois! Surely there is room for individual interpretations!

As for injecting tension in your story...I don't think I can tell you that doing so would be a bad idea. More tension would create a different kind of story, one that might appeal to more people, for all I know.

All I can say is that I love your story! I love Lois's feistiness and optimism. I love the waffiness and sweet sexiness of Lois and Clark's love story. I love the "feel good" quality of your story. I love the comic book feeling of it - well, consider, Lana is a strawberry blond redhead and Pete is a towhead! Yay! That's what they look like in the comics. And indeed, the whole slightly outrageous upcoming parachuting stunt has a delicious comic book feeling to it.

All in all, your story is among my favorites, Chris. I love it!!! clap

Ann
Posted By: ChaaBreh Re: FDK: The Girl's Not Attractive 21 - 01/16/07 04:21 PM
Hey....I like to think outside the box. If I were Lois, how *else* would I get a sample of Kryptonite-laced wheat? LOL. If Clark can't help her, and we're not talking about jumping from 10,000 feet here, mind you...I would try a parachute jump. Hey, in Gilmore Girls, a bunch of college students jumped off a building with umbrellas! LOL.

Don't you worry. Lois is always deliciously over her head. And I did my research about crop planes - they can fly really low... LOL...

Imagine a field bigger than a football field surrounded by a building with no windows. I'm thinking that unless someone is actually watering it, fertilizing it, or harvesting it, there aren't a lot of people policing it. And the crop dusting plane won't raise that many eyebrows...or will they???

I'm having fun thinking outside the box...so I hope you're having fun along with me!

Thanks for the feedback.

P.S. to Nancy - no they didn't. He was too afraid he would "damage" her...there was a chapter where Clark and Lois discussed their sexual hangups - hers was her body, his was that he would lose control and hurt his lover!
Posted By: mariadferdez. Re: FDK: The Girl's Not Attractive 21 - 01/16/07 08:24 PM
Hi,

Great part! hyper
Chris, please don't think that I dislike your story! Far from it. I said in another feedback post, many, many chapters ago, that I like the idea of a plus-sized Lois. Thin may be in, but it's not the norm in most industrialized societies, certain diet gurus notwithstanding. And I admit it, I'm also a plus-sized guy.

I don't have any problem with her parachuting into the wheat field. It's totally in character for Lois. My only complaint was that, if Pete tried this nutty pickup scheme, he might injure Lois pretty badly. She's not muscular enough (in any incarnation of which I am aware) to behave like a circus acrobat. Trying to catch that rope is as likely to burn all the skin off her hands as it is to lift her out of the field. And if the FAA ever found out that any pilot pulled a stunt like this, he or she would be in big trouble. Might even lose his or her flying license. A small helicopter would work, if he knew how to fly one. They have crop-dusting copters, too.

My daughter tells me I'm too literal. If, for example, my wife asks me if I want to help her with the groceries, I might answer 'no' because I don't want to. But I'll still help, because I'm not really a thick-headed idiot. I know how much work is involved in loading up the pantry for all of us.

Anyway, it's just that the idea of Lois hitching a ride on a biplane that doesn't land is highly improbable to me, and it breaks me out of the 'willing suspension of disbelief' any L&C story requires (my own included).

So please don't think I'm clobbering you for this. I'm still reading, obviously, so please keep writing!
Posted By: Classicalla Re: FDK: The Girl's Not Attractive 21 - 01/16/07 10:36 PM
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But surely it's not necessary that everybody agrees on a "canon" Lois! Surely there is room for individual interpretations!
Well, some people would seem to think so, Ann. Some folks see no other interpretations and get upset when you try to do one (but that has nothing to do with Lois jumping out of plane - That idea is a bit over the top, but I loved it that Lois would even try it!)
Posted By: ChaaBreh Re: FDK: The Girl's Not Attractive 21 - 01/17/07 09:50 AM
Ok, would everyone be happier if I changed it to a helicopter? It's just that a helicopter makes a lot of noise and would be more obvious....

Or, plan B, I'm just going to come up with a creative way out of this that only QUASI suspends belief.

Hey - Lois has a history of jumping out of windows in tall buildings, etc...granted, she plans on Superman to catch her and he can't this time...but really...why is jumping out of a plane any crazier?? This is LOIS we're talking about! LOL
Posted By: TOC Re: FDK: The Girl's Not Attractive 21 - 01/17/07 10:11 AM
You asking me, Chris? Stick to your original idea. Superman can fly, so why can't Lois parachute from a plane?

Ann
Posted By: woody Re: FDK: The Girl's Not Attractive 21 - 01/17/07 10:11 AM
the jumping out part's okay with me and I think if there was a long enough rope, Pete could drop it and then circle close enough until Lois had wrapped it around herself or something. Or she sould tie it to her parachute harness.
Posted By: ChaaBreh Re: FDK: The Girl's Not Attractive 21 - 01/17/07 05:10 PM
Hey...if anyone has caught the new FX show "Dirt" with Courtney Cox...I always thought that she would have made a terrific Lois Lane...and she's playing a rabid tabloid magazine editor now...this is totally wish fulfillment...the things she does to get a story is amazing and she's lonely just like Lois would be if she didn't have Clark...

Hell, I think I'd jump out of an airplane to get my first scoop after being out of action for 5 years!

LOL. Thanks for all the feedback guys, this is kinda fun!
Posted By: ChaaBreh Re: FDK: The Girl's Not Attractive 21 - 01/21/07 01:28 PM
Part #22 is up! Three more chapters to go! Woo-hoo!!!

(I'm taking requests for a sequel, though...LOL)
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