FDK: Darkest Dreams 1/? - Lois & Clark Fanfic Message Boards

Very good. Can't wait to see where you go with this.

I kinda had a hunch that there was something wrong a tax bureau in a warehouse, but nice job on the WHAM.

Wonderful cliffhanger(pun intended).

You have such great imagery:

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like fate had decided to toss a steaming mass of overcooked spaghetti into the too-small strainer of her life.

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it was just that Lois was one of those gifted people that could be crossing a street, get knocked from behind by a random-passing android-disguised as a human woman, fall down and lose her memory only to be brought to a doctor that was trying to brain-wash their patients as assassins.

And that that second one is really funny.

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She watched for a minute before looking back at Glutwich, her smile vanishing behind a glare. To think that the sour woman probably spent her free hours here staring at Superman’s rescues whenever they came up on the screen. She probably lived just to see those short glimpses on the TV, but was smart enough not to show it in front of her. Lois’s blood turned bitter. How dare the woman! She was old enough to be his grandmother.

Classic unreasonable Lois.

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He straightened, and Lois went very, very still as she blinked down the barrel of a gun.

Wow, that was a quite a sudden turn.

Very interesting beginning.

Oooh! My first 2 reviews ever. Man, if this is how it always feels to get reviews maybe I had better reviewing my favorite authors more often.

Thank you thank you thank you

I'll probably be posting the second chapter later tonight or tomorrow morning.

SmirkyRaven

Nevermore!

Hello!

First off I like the title - Darkest Dreams
Secondly I like your name - Smirk the Raven - because Ravens are one of my favourite creatures. Combined with “Smirk”, there is a cuteness factor I like. If you were not aiming for cute, my apologies. I have a tendency to call everything I like cute.

I really find everything awesome. To the point that I would have to quote 95% of the story.

Starting off with the whole spaghetti reference and ending with a cliff-hanger that jumped out at me were great. I did realize something was fishy about the building she was in, but I didn't expect the gun to come out just then. Perhaps it isn't really a gun but just a simile? Ugh...maybe that's the wrong word. Yeah, I think it is, but I can't think of the proper one. I just spent the last hour shovelling so all my blood is not in my brain. (That's my excuse.)

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“Excuse me, Miss Glutwich,” Lois said, noting the desk plaque bearing the bold letters “Francine Glutwich.” What a perfectly awful name.

Hehe.

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“Sit down. It will be a few minutes.”

That's not going to happen...

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Lois purposefully did not move to the couch to follow Francine Glutwich’s brisk instructions [...]

YUP! Great line!

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The weatherman stared dully out of the screen.

He so knows he's going to get the weather wrong again.

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She never did trust those with the good looks. They usually turned out to be the poisonous ones.

Sigh - I'm looking forward to the angst. Perhaps that type of angst will appear in this story. If not, ALL angst is great. I'm in dire need of a dose.

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Warnings: I love deep, wrenching angst of both the physical and psychological facets. If you don’t like it, don’t read.

Oh most excellent. <rubs hands together and does an low evil laugh>

Thank you all so much! I'm so glad you are liking it. I've never let any of my fiction writing to be read by more than...well...one person, so I'm glad that it's being well received.

Indeed the angst is well on it's way. I'm too impatient to dally along too much before getting down to business...

You guys completely made my day by responding. I hope I can keep up to your expectations!

I'm not necessarily a "cute" person myself--but I take it as a compliment, SuperRoo. I love ravens as well, and "Smirky" is a nickname I've had for some long years...it has a nice snap to it, I think.

I'm just wrapping up a few things for the next chapter. I'm planning on sleeping on it, reading through it quickly in the morning to make sure everything's ship-shape, and then posting it sometime in the mid-morning (for me).

Thank you all so much!

Smirk the Raven

Very good start. And yes, you definitely should leave feedback for stories you like. As you have just discovered, it's like a long drink of ice water after a hot, sweaty day of yard work.

Why wouldn't Lois be sent to room 42? According to the super-super-super computer described in one of Douglas Adams' Hitchiker novels, '42' is the meaning of the universe.

Sorry, I don't understand it either. But I thought of it as soon as Ms. Glutwich (cue frightened horse whinny) told Lois which room to enter.

And why is Lois surprised to have a firearm pointed at her? Surely she hasn't reached her threat quota for the week already. Or has the IRS begun issuing weapons to collection agents?

And yes, this was a very good (or very bad) place to stop. You've guaranteed that I'm tuning in next week, same Super-time, same Super-channel.

Hi,

Interesting start!