FDK: The Girl Next Door - 8/? - 07/01/06 10:46 PM
WOW, 
Re: FDK: The Girl Next Door - 8/? - 07/02/06 07:57 AM
Janet, you must understand that I'm basically a Lois and Clark illiterate - I'm here because of my 37-year addiction to the concept that Superman and Lois should be together, not because I've ever seen much of the Dean Cain and Teri Hatcher show. (Well, I was unhappy about what was happening in the comics at about the time when the LnC show was airing here in Sweden, and I didn't feel much like watching Superman on TV right then.) So my point is that I really, really don't know the show well at all.
However, even though I know so comparatively little about the LNC:TNAOS show, I still think that so much of this chapter feels exactly like the show. Lois in full Mad Dog Lane mode! Lois freezing Clark out, treating him with coldness and contempt and trying to convince Perry not to make him her partner. And then there's Clark who, apparently just like in the show, fell in love with her at first sight.
And yet I think that there is at least one huge difference between your story and the show, and that is the way Lois feels this instant, overwhelming attraction to Clark. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that in the show, Lois was simply unimpressed, uninterested and disdainful, at least inititally. But in your story, Lois is so strongly affected by Clark that she almost begins to levitate:
I so love this, partly because it reminds me of your first LnC fanfic, Cloud Nine. In that one, of course, it was Clark who couldn't stop levitating.
Anyway, this is what is so beautiful about your story. We have a scene which could have been taken straight out the pilot, or whatever episode it was that had Perry partner up Clark with Lois. Your Lois is ostensibly exactly the same as "canon" Lois from the LnC show, and in one way they really are similar. Both of them are afraid that they will get hurt if they allow a man to get too close to them. But the reasons for their fears are very different. Canon Lois had been taken in and cruelly used by men, but your Lois is, basically, afraid of being found out by anyone and being... "dissected like a frog"? Perhaps she just feels that she will be destroyed as a person if people find out about her "specialness". Perhaps she is afraid that she won't be able to be Princess Elizabeth any more and fight the dragons. Perhaps she feels that she would be letting her Mama down if it happened. Anyway, being found out is her greatest fear, just like we are used to it being Clark's:
I just love this paragraph. It's beautiful. And I completely love Lois's instant attraction to Clark, and the way Clark, too, seems to have fallen in love with her.
I also very much appreciate you clever treatment of the Prometheus business. It seems clear that someone has just inserted a small piece of nonsense code into the main program guiding the whole Prometheus operation. This nonsense code would be enough to crash the main program and to cause a major disaster.
Of course, now we all want to know if Clark is superpowered too. He could well be, in which case he and Lois would have been sent from their dying planet to the Earth when they were both babies. (Admittedly, even if Clark and Lois had both been sent away from Krypton at the same time, they wouldn't necessarily arrive at the Earth at the same time at all, and they wouldn't necessarily be the same age when they arrived, but never mind....)
Whether or not Clark is going to be Kryptonian and super-powered, the situation you have created is hugely, hugely interesting! I can't wait to read more of this!!!
Ann
However, even though I know so comparatively little about the LNC:TNAOS show, I still think that so much of this chapter feels exactly like the show. Lois in full Mad Dog Lane mode! Lois freezing Clark out, treating him with coldness and contempt and trying to convince Perry not to make him her partner. And then there's Clark who, apparently just like in the show, fell in love with her at first sight.
And yet I think that there is at least one huge difference between your story and the show, and that is the way Lois feels this instant, overwhelming attraction to Clark. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that in the show, Lois was simply unimpressed, uninterested and disdainful, at least inititally. But in your story, Lois is so strongly affected by Clark that she almost begins to levitate:
Quote
She was instantly aware of the second man in the room, even as Clark Kent rose to his feet at her entrance. He smiled at her – a smile so brilliant and beautiful that she felt herself begin to leave the floor. She almost panicked. She *never* lost control of her powers any more. *Never*.
Anyway, this is what is so beautiful about your story. We have a scene which could have been taken straight out the pilot, or whatever episode it was that had Perry partner up Clark with Lois. Your Lois is ostensibly exactly the same as "canon" Lois from the LnC show, and in one way they really are similar. Both of them are afraid that they will get hurt if they allow a man to get too close to them. But the reasons for their fears are very different. Canon Lois had been taken in and cruelly used by men, but your Lois is, basically, afraid of being found out by anyone and being... "dissected like a frog"? Perhaps she just feels that she will be destroyed as a person if people find out about her "specialness". Perhaps she is afraid that she won't be able to be Princess Elizabeth any more and fight the dragons. Perhaps she feels that she would be letting her Mama down if it happened. Anyway, being found out is her greatest fear, just like we are used to it being Clark's:
Quote
She didn’t want this… this attraction, this sudden treacherous longing for a relationship with a man <with this man>. It was simply too dangerous. She’d acknowledged long ago that she would never have a close relationship of any kind. She could never get close to anyone for fear that they would find out about her special abilities.
I also very much appreciate you clever treatment of the Prometheus business. It seems clear that someone has just inserted a small piece of nonsense code into the main program guiding the whole Prometheus operation. This nonsense code would be enough to crash the main program and to cause a major disaster.
Of course, now we all want to know if Clark is superpowered too. He could well be, in which case he and Lois would have been sent from their dying planet to the Earth when they were both babies. (Admittedly, even if Clark and Lois had both been sent away from Krypton at the same time, they wouldn't necessarily arrive at the Earth at the same time at all, and they wouldn't necessarily be the same age when they arrived, but never mind....)
Whether or not Clark is going to be Kryptonian and super-powered, the situation you have created is hugely, hugely interesting! I can't wait to read more of this!!!
Ann
Re: FDK: The Girl Next Door - 8/? - 07/02/06 03:23 PM
Hi,
Great part.
Great part.
Quote
“Lois, you are the best of the best,” he said, and his smile smoothed into a genuine one. “Kent, here, is new to the Planet, yes. But he is also *very* good. I reckon if I put the two of you on it, this story will be Kerth material for sure. Because I agree with you, darlin’ – there’s something wrong with that whole program. Give this idea of mine a chance, Lois,” Perry added persuasively. “I smell a possible Pulitzer in this.”
She tried one last time. “Perry, I work best alone. You know that. I don’t do that whole partnership thing very well –“
Perry interrupted her again. “Time you learned, darlin’. Now I can give this whole assignment to Kent, here, or you can work *with* him on it. Your choice.”
She knew when to fold. Grudgingly, she nodded. “Fine, Chief,” she muttered. “Now, if you’re done with me – with *us* -” she added as he cocked that eyebrow at her again, “my *partner* and I have work to do. C’mon, Kent!” And she stalked out of the office, trying not to notice if he followed her or not.
She tried one last time. “Perry, I work best alone. You know that. I don’t do that whole partnership thing very well –“
Perry interrupted her again. “Time you learned, darlin’. Now I can give this whole assignment to Kent, here, or you can work *with* him on it. Your choice.”
She knew when to fold. Grudgingly, she nodded. “Fine, Chief,” she muttered. “Now, if you’re done with me – with *us* -” she added as he cocked that eyebrow at her again, “my *partner* and I have work to do. C’mon, Kent!” And she stalked out of the office, trying not to notice if he followed her or not.
Re: FDK: The Girl Next Door - 8/? - 07/02/06 08:58 PM
Oh, excellent, Clark's in the picture! Can't wait to see where this all goes!
Jen
Jen
Re: FDK: The Girl Next Door - 8/? - 07/02/06 09:23 PM
Yes, the first meeting! And what an impression both made!!! 
I look very hopeful into the future,
Natascha (wondering if Lois is flying off to cool off in Antartica??)
I look very hopeful into the future,
Natascha (wondering if Lois is flying off to cool off in Antartica??)
Re: FDK: The Girl Next Door - 8/? - 07/05/06 08:07 PM
Yay! Clark is here, finally. And Lois is struck!! 
/me rubs hands gleefully
/me rubs hands gleefully