This is one of those stories that don't seem to get any fdk, and the reason for it is beyond me. Because this is beautifully written, and moving too.

I love the way you bring Lois into this story, and I love the things you make her realize. She knows that she has been jealous of Mayson, and that she has possibly wished her ill. But she is horrified at what has actually happened to Mayson, and she knows she would never, ever have wished those things on her. And her heart goes out to Clark, because he suffers so because of it. And she can see it: He's blaming himself for what has happened to Mayson. And finally: She realizes that what happened to Mayson could have happened to herself, and Clark may have been right to urge her to be cautious.

Moving and beautiful, angelic. Unfortunately, I have no time to quote anything, but your writing is delicate and exquisite as usual.

Keep going. I'm looking forward to the next part.

Ann

I agree that this is a very well written plot and I have been following it but have neglected to post feedback every time. I ought to know how important feedback is to a writer especially since I feel like no one reads my stories, therefore I din't get much feedback.

I like what I am reading so far. It was helpful you posted the other parts to help people catch up. More soon!

~Lois Lane Wanna Be

That was a great part! Poor Mayson. I like how Lois feels You really get it across- it's a good way to phrase it.

And Clark's blaming himself, like always :rolleyes: . Lois tries really hard, but he just doesn't listen.
I like how Lois showed a bit of her competitive side here and her compassion- it lightened things a bit without destroying the mood you had built up.

I'm glad you've come back with another post, Angel. I like Mayson stories. I don't know if you started this with the idea of both Mayson's heart and her body being broken into a million little pieces, but since that's what's happened, it's a very appropriate title.

And you've spent enough time showing us the hearts and minds of these three people, and now you're moving the action forward. Great! I hate stories with cardboard characters who do things and the reader never knows why they do what they do. You've shown us a wonderful, tender, insightful slice of this awkward three-way relationship, and now it's time to do something!

My favorite line from this post is where Lois tells Clark she's never been president of the Mayson Drake fan club. It's a bit insensitive, but it's so very Lois! She's honest about her feelings (except where Clark is concerned) and I think she would've said that even if Mayson was sitting up in bed staring at her.

This is gripping stuff. More soon. Please?

You guys are too kind! The feedback this story has gotten -- and this chapter alone! -- has just blown my mind. A huuuuuge thank-you to everyone who's read and commented on this story, and your infinite patience between chapters.

Ann, your compliments on my writing are simply ... wow. I'm speechless. Thank you.

Sheila, thanks for your comments! I so appreciate the feedback, nervous writer that I am. Seriously, it's so lovely to hear you've been following this.

LoisLaneWannaBe, thank you! I thought including previous parts would help readers out since I take at least a week (but usually longer) between chapters! Glad to see I was right!

Vive, thanks for the kind words! I'm so glad to hear you're enjoying this story.

And Terry, as always, your feedback is just incredible. Thank you for all your patient encouragement while this plot evolves -- I promise I'll keep posting as it comes!

Again, huge thanks to you all!