Hi,

Great start.


More ASAP, please.

MAF

Thanks, Maria. I posted part 1 two days ago on two different message boards, and you're the only one who gave me feedback.

I was expecting a cool welcome to that story, since, like I said, it begins VERY SLOWLY, but not that cool.

Anyway,I'm glad you liked it. And I hope you'll stay with me until the end. I personally thinks that my story becomes a little better with each patr, and I think I'm prejudiced

Part 2 is coming

I normally don't have the spare time these days to follow a story any longer than a vignette, so if I drop out on you halfway through, Poussin, don't think it's because I got bored with your story!

I do still read comments folders though and since I had a few spare moments waiting for my hair to dry <G> before going out, how could I resist your plea for comments and not read this first part?

I'm not sure why you thought response to your story would be cool because of a slow start. I didn't think it began slowly at all. You jump right in to an intriguing premise, which is a really good hook.

I did find that the story was a little more work to follow than others because of the fact that English is your second language. A good beta though would be able to weed out most of the grammar errors without much difficulty. And I expected that from an author for whom English is a second language, so I didn't let it disturb me much. It may have put others off though, so it might be an idea to have segments worked on by an English-speaking beta before you post.

That aside, I found this to be a great opening segment, Poussin, and I'm intrigued enough to read on further.

LabRat

Well.....if you want comments before posting every part.....ill post six.....LOVE IT....I just read part 2 and I can't wait for more!!!!

Oh Thanks!

That's very kind feedbacks. I'm glad.

LabRat, you'll be glad to know that someone just proposed to beta-read me in the FDK folder of part 2, so hopefully, there will be less grammar errors... in the future part.

LOL. Actually, I'll post anyway, even if I don't have feedbacks, but it's scary, because you don't know if someone read it or not.

I'm a little late but I'm reading Poussin. I like the premise and am excited to see where this is going. I'm off to read part 2.

Jackie

Little late in my fdk, Poussin. I apologize... there are so many good stories on these boards I'm really bad about fdk sometimes. I tend to be a lurker sometimes, even though I enjoy the stories and now that I have written one I definitely understand how nerve wracking it is to wait for feedback and wonder if you should continue or not. Lately, I'm doing well to find time to work on my own story, leave alone post feedback. But I'll try to make a greater effort here. I think this is a great idea for a story and I can't wait to see Lois' reaction. Know that I am reading it and looking forward to each installment. More soon, Please!

Marcy