Well, it's a bit early for me to say something about your comments already, but....
Apparently, Nicole, the way I wrote the Clark/Perry conversation didn't work too well. Obviously I realize that Perry would normally
never give Clark the third degree about what he and Lois might have been doing together the night before. And he would never accuse Clark of being responsible for Lois's disappearance, particularly not in a situation like this, where he would have no good reason to assume that she was missing in the first place.
But this is not a normal situation. This is history replaying itself to see what choice Clark Kent will make this time. Just like before, Clark is so full of angst and self-revulsion that he is ready to expose himself as Superman all over again, thereby again unleashing the same chaos and undoing everything Lois and the Sandman have done to put things right. Only this time, if he wastes time outing himself (and, by extension, outing a lot of other people too), Lois will die in the Arctic.
The Sandman has left Perry with enough of a memory, or even a knowledge of what is at stake, to simply
know that something is very wrong when Lois does not come to work that morning. Let's say that Perry, too, has been full of foreboding that morning, and he just knows that Lois really
is missing and that Clark is somehow responsible for her disappearance. I was trying to suggest that it is really the Sandman who is speaking to Clark through Perry, when I wrote about Perry that
For a seond, his eyes seemed to change, taking on an oddly gleaming cast.
The truth is, nothing about that scene really works unless you realize that the Sandman is really using Perry to get Clark to make the right decision.
A problem with this scene is that I wanted to tell it entirely from Clark's POV, which means there was little room to describe Perry's thoughts and feelings.
So... eh... I would appreciate any suggestions as to how I could improve this scene, while retaining the idea that Perry is the Sandman's mouthpiece.
Anyway, Nicole, I'm glad you like the happy ending and the romance of the story!
Tank, I'm really glad that you appreciate my story, seeing its starting point was your challenge for Wendy. Too bad you found it too waffy - and I'm not saying I didn't go overboard in a few places....
And I'm really glad you like my portrait of Morpheus, and the role I gave him. Well, as you could see, I chose to call him the Sandman or the Dream Lord. But I just felt that Neal Gaiman's punk girl version of Death wouldn't work for my story....
And Nan, thanks for reading! Yes, wouldn't it be a good thing if we could have Superman assisting the doctors whenever they had to perform a particularly difficult operation?
Ann