FDK: The Ghost of Christmas Past 1/2 - THANKS! - Lois & Clark Fanfic Message Boards

First of all

Thank you both so much! I do love Christmas stories! Though I feel so sorry for poor Lois in this one!

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There could have been...

If only...

She hurried into her apartment building, trying to force back the hot tears springing to her eyes. She wouldn’t cry again. She would not cry again...

Uhoh. Ohno...

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There was no such thing as a merry Christmas. If there ever had been, there would never be again. Not now.

She dragged herself towards the kitchen. She wasn’t hungry, but making coffee would give her something to do.

The photograph stared tauntingly at her from its position on her dresser.

ACK! *hides* Not a sad Christmas! Not a... *gasp* TOGOM Christmas!

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Her stupidity, a lunatic scientist’s irresponsibility and three fragments of hot lead had ripped him away from her.

Eeek! *beats on Clark. You can't leave Lois alone for Christmas! It isn't allowed!

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As if he hadn’t been the most precious thing in her life.

As if she could ever do that anyway.

Forget Clark? Never. Not as long as she was still existing.

*sob*

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It was strange; ever since Clark’s death she and Superman had spent a lot more time together than ever before. At first, he’d come to check on her, to make sure that she was okay, to apologise for not being able to save Clark and to assure himself that she didn’t blame him. He’d stayed to comfort her - and, she’d actually suspected, to be comforted himself in return.

Okay.. this isn't exactly what I meant..

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Actually, there were times when it almost felt like working with Clark.

Gee, I wonder why...

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He shouldn’t have come. Even as he made small talk about their respective days, he knew he shouldn’t have come. He’d promised himself that he wouldn’t, but he wasn’t able to stay away... it was Christmas. And, if he was honest with himself, he’d needed to see her. He’d been looking forward to this Christmas so much. Before.

Yeah, you just have to torture yourself, don't you. That bond, drawing you together.. your stupidity, pushing you apart! :p

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He should just move on, start anew in a place far from here, be that nobody again, but... he couldn’t. He’d started a life... he’d made friends, and now he was trapped by it. Trapped by the life Clark Kent created but achingly apart from it. That photograph... was a painful reminder of everything he’d lost. Of everything he’d never have. And... why he could never leave.

*sniffles*

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“I feel like I stopped living a long time ago.”

Tissues. I need tissues. Where'd I put them?

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Once she’d accepted that Clark wasn’t dead because he was actually from Krypton, where could they have gone from there?

Absolutely nowhere.

Sure there is! Bermuda.. Bahamas.. (come on, pretty mama. Key Lar.. *cough* Sorry bout that)

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She froze for a second, an unreadable emotion flitting across her face before she stepped past him and closed the window.

Come into my parlor, said the spider to the fly...

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“I know you two were close,” she said, moving closer to him. “He was your friend too. I think you should talk about him. I think... you need to.”

Oh, how uncomfortable. "Well, Lois.. Superman and I.. er, well, one minute I was Clark, the next minute, my.. biceps.. were revealed to the world..."

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Her eyes widened. He’d cared about Clark far more than she’d ever imagined. Far more than anyone would have who wasn’t a parent or spouse or...

... Or lover.

*snigger* I love it when she jumps to that conclusion.

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He was kissing her. Kissing her like his life depended on it.

OOH!

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He pressed his forehead against the wall. His voice was quiet when he answered. “No, not exactly.”

“Why, then?” He almost jumped when her hand found his shoulder.

“Because I was Clark.”

GAH! You would leave it here, wouldn't you. *whimper*

I love it! Though you know what I'm going to say. "Clark, if she won't go with you, I will!" Er, no, that's not it. MORE! Can't wait to see the rest of this!

This was perfect! The opening lines were so in character and immediately captured my attention. Lois saying she loved Clark after Superman kisses her: brilliant! Clark waiting to reveal himself after he was shot: stupid as usual, but isn't that the point of TOGOM rewrites. I can't wait for part 2!
Susan (whose husband, who has a birthday today, appreciates any recognition of the plight of those who have a birthday near the holidays)

That last part was awesome!

I can't wait for the second part!

Jose

Hah! Love that! Great revelation, without that trite old I-feel-guilty-but-I-couldn't-tell-you-because-you-rejected-me-Lois stuff in it. Brilliant!

Annnd.... that little green roll-eye icon at the end just had me falling on the floor laughing!!!
:rolleyes:

Ann

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Hesitantly, she began, “Superman, were you... you and Clark...”

I don't know why this kind of 'epiphany' always makes me laugh. Every. Darn. Time. Am I twelve or something?

In any case this fic is awesome. Poor Clark, poor Lois! I love the 'lets run away together.' Despite the angst it's still kind of innocent, so desperately hopeful.

Well, off I go to wait with bated breath for the conclusion!

Great writing, guys!

Thanks Wendy and Dave. I am one of the December birthday people and you know how I love Superman, Lois pre revelation/revelation stories. Thank you and happy birthday to Karen and anyone else with a December birthday. This is great! Laura

This is great! Can't wait for part 2.

Happy birthday Karen and Laura and anyone else who is celebrating a birthday soon.

Jackie

Hi,

Great piece.

YIPPPPEEEEE! Wendy and Dave, this was just what I needed to read today. You guys are great!

Marcy

Ah! Clark! FOUR WEEKS?! Four weeks?!

I'd almost like to take a shot at him, too.

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Somehow, the gentle grasp of one small woman was enough to halt even a Superpowered male in his flight.

*sigh*

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No-one wanted to talk to her about Clark any more. Everyone seemed to think that either his name should never be mentioned at all or that it was time to move on and leave him in the past. Clark was like the ghost in the corner: the more no-one mentioned him, the more she was conscious of his unseen presence.

Sad, but undoubtedly true.

Can't wait to see Lois' reaction to his news.

Thanks, Wendy and Dave; this is lovely.

Happy birthday, Karen--and thank goodness you had one to inspire a story!

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Pretending to like family members they hated.

I hear ya, Lois. Dirty looks all around.

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bleeding to death on a gambling-den floor.

TOGOM rises from the ashes again. Not that I'm complaining, mind you.

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he’d taken her heart, her soul, every shred of meaning in her life, with him

Great line.

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Forget Clark? Never. Not as long as she was still existing.

So sad. So very sad.

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Actually, there were times when it almost felt like working with Clark.

Ding. Ding. Ding.

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What was he doing?

Yes, Clark. What ARE you doing? She's going to skin you alive when she finds out.

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“Because I was Clark.”

Love this. Love it even while it's twisting me up inside.

Wendy, I for one hope your TOGOM muse does not ever die!!!!

Wendy and Dave... I love this!!!! Tears in my eyes all the way through, honestly! Now I see that so much has been quoted by so many people, but a few things I couldn't refuse to comment on:

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Oh, she’d carried on. Turned up to work as normal, even found his killers. Gained a cold satisfaction out of seeing them charged and held in custody pending trial. She was still turning in front-page stories, too. But the thrill had gone out of it.

Reporting was no longer her life. It was a job. It paid the bills.

And every time she walked into the newsroom she saw his face. Heard his voice. Imagined him sitting at that desk, so close to her own. Or coming to lean on the edge of her desk to talk to her, tease her, edit her copy.

It was torture. Expecting at every moment to see him, to hear him, to feel his strong but gentle hand on her shoulder or at her elbow.

In the last week, she’d begun to consider the unthinkable and discovered that it seemed appealing. Quit the Planet. Maybe even leave Metropolis. A new start, somewhere else, where she wouldn’t see Clark Kent’s ghost on every street corner or in every familiar place they’d been together.

Clark Kent's ghost... I have chills... I really really love this!

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Clark. It was always Clark.

He let his eyes wander over to her dresser. The photo was still there. The only thing not covered in the finely-layered dust of neglect. He didn’t expect her to put it away, but, oh... how he wished she would.

It was his fault, really. The whole mess was his fault. He’d been torturing himself since the shooting, playing it over and over in his mind. Analysed it from every angle... looked at it from every perspective... and he always came to the same conclusion.

It was his fault.

He should have known better than to become too close to anyone. To start a life with friends and hopes and dreams. To stop being that anonymous nobody who bounced from one place to the next and start an actual life. He should have known that it’d all be ripped away from him. He wasn’t meant to have a normal life, and it was past time he accepted that.

He should just move on, start anew in a place far from here, be that nobody again, but... he couldn’t. He’d started a life... he’d made friends, and now he was trapped by it. Trapped by the life Clark Kent created but achingly apart from it. That photograph... was a painful reminder of everything he’d lost. Of everything he’d never have. And... why he could never leave.

Lois. It was always Lois.

Love the repetition here... it gives an eerie sense to the scene that I think is just so fitting.

You guys make a great team! Now get back here for part two!!!!!

Uh... I mean... :rolleyes: ... please, when you have a moment, could you kindly return and post part two when you're free and have a moment and only when it's convenient for you and you have a moment and....

well you get it! hehe

~NICOLE

All right... a mix of comments from me. I'm not so sure how smug I want to be about already having read the end... *cough* You'll see why at the end of this post.

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Her stupidity, a lunatic scientist’s irresponsibility and three fragments of hot lead had ripped him away from her.

Ouch!!! I still... well, that line... ouch, Wendy. You wound me.

((( (That's going in the Hall of Fame, btw)

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Four weeks ago today

He's not told her?? In a MONTH? Where is he? I've got to hit him!!

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Oh, she’d carried on. Turned up to work as normal, even found his killers. Gained a cold satisfaction out of seeing them charged and held in custody pending trial. She was still turning in front-page stories, too. But the thrill had gone out of it.

I really love this paragraph because it really shows just how much she's affected. The apathy is alarming.

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A tapping sound at the window. Hastily, she put the photo down. He wouldn’t like to see her looking at it again. He kept telling her that she needed to move on with her life, that Clark wouldn’t want her to grieve for him for ever. It was time to move on, he’d told her the last time she’d mentioned Clark to him. Time to accept that he was gone, to remember him fondly but put him in the past.

Bah! Double-edged sword here. Clark's deceit and his own grief wrapped up in a sick twist of condolence (of sorts) for Lois. And it begs one question: Just how thick is a Kryptonian skull!!

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Actually, there were times when it almost felt like working with Clark.

I love that line. Because... well, dang. You can just imagine how it was. Clark is sitting there on the couch as Superman, trying hid damnedest to help Lois (and himself) through the grieving process. He feels guilty that he's left her without a partner, so he's helping her - because he can, because he wants to... and because, truth be told, he needs to do it for himself because he misses it. He's mourning just as much as (dare I say more than?) Lois is for the death of Clark Kent. And he's using Superman to that purpose... and he's slipping. Forgetting for brief moments that he can't really ever be Clark again (because he's a lunkhead), and it shows through. And that brings us to how Lois is feeling... almost the same as Clark is - she's still got a friend who can help her out with investigations and general chatting, but it's painful because that was something she and Clark shared. Then she glimpses moments when it just feels like Clark is there with her again, and it only takes a second for the sight of the red and blue suit to just crush her all over again. Really, this is so hard for both of them.

Wendy and Dave

WOW! This is so emotional and sad.

What a place to stop!

I can't wait to see what Lois's reaction is. Please post the next part ASAP.

Tricia

you know what? i think lois just might or try to slap clark some brain cells in him. how could you clark?

Oh sorry got too deep in it lol

Great start. Now I want the finish!!!

Have there been any TOGOMs that had Lois already knowing Clark was Superman?

James

Wow!

Dave and I are really delighted at your wonderful feedback for this. It's been just lovely to come in here and see all these nice posts! What's even nicer is that those of you who've picked out lines and phrases you especially like have managed to select from both of our sections. And that's fantastic.

Karen, and anyone else with a December birthday, including Laura, we're especially glad that you like this.

I'm always fascinated to know, when I write stories with other FoLCs, whether readers can spot the joins or tell the different writers' work apart. A couple of people, Sara included, read parts or all of this before we posted, and while they did identify the author of one or two lines they by no means guessed it all. In fact, where they did try to put a name to a line sometimes they were wrong.

Which I find really nice.

I will confess, though, that the cliffhanger you're all complaining about was written by... Dave. So you know where to direct those snowballs, right?

Oh, and James: the answer is yes, and it's by Pam Jernigan. Check out Private Grief . It's short and a lot of fun.

I'm sure that Dave will have something of his own to add in due course, but for now, and on behalf of both of us, thank you so much!

And I'm just off to post part 2.

Wendy

Well, I think Wendy just about covered everything. At least, she did much better than my clumsy 'Wow' would have!

I'm really blown away by the response to this story. Reading this feedback has been wonderful and inspiring and... wonderful! Thanks for taking the time.

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I will confess, though, that the cliffhanger you're all complaining about was written by... Dave.

As Wendy oh-so-casually pointed out [ :p ], that cliffhanger was mine. Let the snow balls fly! <g> It's one of the few lines I remember writing. (Yeah, I know... it's bad when I look back and can't tell which of us wrote what.)

And, for all of you who complained... spare a thought for poor Wendy! She had to write Lois's reaction. <g>

Besides, if we're pointing fingers... 4 weeks? That was *all* Wendy. :p

Anyway, thank you. It really is exciting to pop in and find that some of my favourite lines (most of which were written by the TOGOM Queen) quoted.

Hopefully everyone will find reading part two just as enjoyable as we did writing it.

Dave

Ack! Another wonderful TOGOM story! I LOVE these

This was absolutely fantastic. Perfectly angsty, beautifully written and just so SAD!