Lois & Clark Forums
Posted By: Capes FDK: 24 Part 4 - 11/03/05 10:08 PM
The tension is killing me.

Now that I know how to use quotes, be prepared.

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He shaved faster than normal, too, collecting a couple of heat-burns as a consequence.
Wow, he's so upset he's burning himself.

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If, by the time Dr Sutton confirmed that it was too late to save Lois, they hadn’t found the cure, he’d tell her everything. At least then that would be one regret he wouldn’t have.
Can't wait to see where this goes.

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And, walking out to her car, her hand stayed in his.
So sweet.

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Time was slipping away, far too quickly for his comfort.
mecry

This is so hard to handle!
Posted By: ChiefPam Re: FDK: 24 Part 4 - 11/03/05 10:25 PM
It's all good, Wendy... poor Lois! But my personal favorite was this line:

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His gaze held hers as securely as his hand did.
That just gave me a WAFFy moment smile

PJ
Posted By: rivka Re: FDK: 24 Part 4 - 11/03/05 11:26 PM
Interestingly, even though nothing actually happened, this was possibly my favorite section yet.

You really do know how to set a mood, Wendy! thumbsup
Posted By: Laurach Re: FDK: 24 Part 4 - 11/04/05 12:06 AM
Yeah but it was way too short for me<g> I'm greedy and want more! But what was there left my heart in my throat. More soon Wendy. Laura
Posted By: Incognito Re: FDK: 24 Part 4 - 11/04/05 12:09 AM
This story is breaking my heart bit by tiny bit. I especially loved this section, definitely my favourite yet. The tension is very palpable and I'm enjoying the ride so far. Thanks, Wendy.
Posted By: Poussin Re: FDK: 24 Part 4 - 11/04/05 04:05 AM
the same for me. you're broking my heart with your story, wendy.

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Time was slipping away, far too quickly for his comfort.
mecry mecry
Posted By: IreneD Re: FDK: 24 Part 4 - 11/04/05 07:29 AM
You're doing a great job of maintaining tension in this, Wendy.

Good work!

Irene
Posted By: daneel Re: FDK: 24 Part 4 - 11/04/05 08:19 AM
You know... this guy is a mystery wink

Jose smile1
Posted By: Karen Re: FDK: 24 Part 4 - 11/04/05 09:49 AM
My favorite part was also the hand holding. Very nice!

And yes. No more wallowing. There's work to be done!
Posted By: gerry Re: FDK: 24 Part 4 - 11/04/05 10:03 AM
Although I found the hand holding moving, what struck me was the dialogue between the two. Simple. To the point.

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“Clark?”
“Yeah?” He didn’t release her hand, and she didn’t pull back either.
“Don’t leave me alone today?”
and then...
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“Of course I won’t, Lois.”
“No running off? No sudden impulse to pick up a candy bar or talk to some source I know nothing about?”
That little bit of humour was so poignant and said so much about their relationship in the past.

gerry
Posted By: SuperGEM Re: FDK: 24 Part 4 - 11/04/05 11:52 AM
You can't leave it like this now Wendy ... this suspense is almost killing me! So intense, so heartwrenching, so amazing! I can feel the tension, the fear, the urgency. I couldn't hold the tears back reading this! Dare I say, Wendy you just get better and better! When are you posting part 5??????? wildguy
Posted By: Nicole S Re: FDK: 24 Part 4 - 11/04/05 01:03 PM
Wendy, FANTASTIC! laugh


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He’d always miss her. Always love her. Always hate that he hadn’t been able to save her. The guilt would haunt him for the rest of his life.

But what else would haunt him? What other regrets?
Too many to think about at this point in the day... blush They need to save her already, and then take a big lesson from the day and talk about their feelings and tell each other their secrets. I mean, honestly! goofy

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On the other hand... would he regret not telling her?
Ummm... YES!!!!! This is Clark we're talking about! He obsesses and always thinks that he could have done something differently and it would have been better. He tears himself apart all the time!

Sorry if I seem volatile... I'm just really involved, here. I love this!

And I can't wait for more! Thank you for not making us wait too long for Part 4! It was VERY appreciated (hint hint, nudge nudge, wink wink!) wink

~NICOLE
Posted By: mariadferdez. Re: FDK: 24 Part 4 - 11/04/05 01:25 PM
Hi,

Great part. hyper
Posted By: SuperRoo Re: FDK: 24 Part 4 - 11/04/05 05:48 PM
Sorry, I can't stick around to say much, but I just wanted to say I caught up w/ this story last night and I love how it is going.

I could feel the tears yelling to come out, yet they wouldn't budge. Why? The suspense was holding them back. It was awesome.

I like how you end each part. It keeps me wanting for more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted By: groobie Re: FDK: 24 Part 4 - 11/04/05 07:06 PM
So much to love in this part! Descriptive mood and palpable tension - you sure know how to make your readers desperate for more! thumbsup Susan
Posted By: Sheila Re: FDK: 24 Part 4 - 11/04/05 08:11 PM
I'll say it again...why not just post the other finished parts and not make us suffer. This is great! Lois is showing her feelings for Clark and doesn't even know it. Please post more soon! notworthy
Posted By: eminMN Re: FDK: 24 Part 4 - 11/04/05 09:49 PM
I fully agree with all that has been said so far. This is a wonderful story Wendy, and I just had to comment on this:
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Lois was dying. By this time tomorrow, she could be cold and still, laid out on some mortuary slab. Or on a pathologist’s table, being sliced open bit by bit so that medical science could discover what had killed her.
It is such a vivid and chilling image. Well done.

I can't wait to see how this develops. Will the villain turn out to be someone we have seen in the series? Someone completely new? Will the motive be related to a story Lois had worked on, or something from her personal life?

Eagerly looking forward to future parts.
Posted By: lovetvfan Re: FDK: 24 Part 4 - 11/05/05 06:36 PM
Wow...phenominal yet again. I've come to the conclusion that you want us to suffer...that's why the cliffhangers....it has to be wink He he! Seriously this is a fantastic story. The suspense, emotion, characterization, dialogue...everything is in perfect balance so that it's not too heavy or too light at any one time...I'm waiting avidly on the edge of my seat for more. notworthy
Posted By: TicAndToc Re: FDK: 24 Part 4 - 11/05/05 10:46 PM
I'm with the others on this part - it's fantastic! The tension is extremely high, and the waffy parts are just heart-melting.

I, too, found the part where Clark acknowledges that Lois could be dead at this time tomorrow to be particularly vivid.


And this:
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It was like those truth or dare games he’d played with friends in college. If you had just twenty-four hours to live, what would you do?

Several of the guys had focused on dare-devil things. Excitement. Thrill-seeking. One or two had mentioned sex. The women had tended to focus on emotions - telling people they cared about that they loved them, resolving old wounds, revealing hidden feelings. Maybe experiencing intimacy for the first time with the person they loved.
was particularly effective for me, because many people do pose hypothetical questions like this to each other. And the answers are much as you describe. But everybody always knows these are hypothetical questions, not real situations. Nobody expects that it would ever be a real situation.

But here both Lois and Clark are, living this question with no apparent way to stop playing the game.


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“Don’t leave me alone today?”
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“Of course I won’t, Lois.”

“No running off? No sudden impulse to pick up a candy bar or talk to some source I know nothing about?”

His gaze held hers as securely as his hand did. “I promise.”
Yes, but what if?? What if he's needed?! thumbsup Very mush-inducing! I loved this.


I'll add my voice to the others - more! More! More!

~Toc
Posted By: TriciaW Re: FDK: 24 Part 4 - 11/06/05 12:15 AM
Wendy

This is superb. smile1

Tricia cool
Posted By: SJH Re: FDK: 24 Part 4 - 11/06/05 01:09 AM
Keyboard malfunction, sorry.
Posted By: Dave Re: FDK: 24 Part 4 - 11/07/05 04:29 AM
Finally, finally, *finally*!

Yes!

/me packs away his Physiology notes.

I *finally* have time to read this chapter. Take that, God-of-exam-related-stress!

Okay... can you tell I'm a little excited? wink

I got a little peak of this chapter earlier and *could* *not* *wait* to read it... and then had to wait and... why am I stalling? On with the show!

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She trembled in the shower. Fumbled with her buttons and fastenings. Her hands shook as she tried to apply her make-up. She was a mess. A quivering wreck.
Worth the wait. Definately! I love that. Perfect introduction - perfect balance of atmosphere and setting. We know where we are and how we're supposed to feel. Perfect. <g>

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Well, no-one other than Clark, and he didn’t count.
I know I mentioned this before, but I *love* that Clark doesn't count. He's on her team and it's okay to fall apart amoungst friends as long as you put on a united front in the end, right? Yep. It's him and Lois against the world. Love that, especially since this is pre-relationship.

Yeah... okay. Moving on. <g>

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But then, she’d heard him castigate them.
Am I the only one who wants to know what they said? <g>

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Okay, there was no time to waste, but he was her partner. And her friend. And she needed him today. With her. She didn’t want to go to the Planet without him.
*sighs... and then grunts for good measure*

*Really* excellent, Wendy. I adore the sentiment. And it comes through so clearly in your writing. Really, *really* excellent.

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Now that Lois wasn’t here to need it, the assurance he’d been preaching all that time, that everything would be okay, vanished. As if it had never been there.
I *love* that, Wendy. It's like that huge cathargic sigh when nobody is looking. The moment you let your shoulders slump and your chin drop... just for that moment... as long as nobody is looking... because it's so hard and you need that break... just for a moment. I'm getting carried away. <g> But yeah, I really love that. My shoulders slumped with him.

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And then he took a deep, shuddering breath and forced himself to stand upright.
And then the moment is over and he's ready to be strong again. Everything from the last quote to this quote... wow, Wendy. That was... so beyond good I don't have words for it.

I don't have a specific quote for it, but I love Clark's little moment of panic too. <g>

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On the other hand... would he regret not telling her?
Yes. Yes you would, Clark. But it's okay. Wendy is nice... she wouldn't let Lois die without giving you time to get all sappy. <g>

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If, by the time Dr Sutton confirmed that it was too late to save Lois, they hadn’t found the cure, he’d tell her everything. At least then that would be one regret he wouldn’t have.
All right, even *I'm* shocked by my response to this, but... coward. I'll explain that, if you want, Wendy. But... yeah. For now I'll leave it as 'Clark, you coward!' :p

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She pulled out a chair from the kitchen table and sat, only to jump to her feet seconds later and start pacing. Moments later, she noticed that she was alternately twisting her hands together and tugging at the neckline of her blouse. Fidgeting. She hated fidgets!
Wham! We're jerked into the present again. Out of the wallowing and into the jumpy-would-be-dead woman. Nice way to bring us back out of Clark's slump. <g>

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He curled his fingers around hers and squeezed gently. Well, even if she didn’t understand, it seemed he did.
Awww.

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His expression softened, and she saw deep sympathy in his eyes. Sympathy she’d reject from anyone else - but from Clark, somehow, it was what she wanted. Needed. Just as she’d needed him when Barbara Trevino had tried to kill her. She’d protested then, of course, that she could look after herself... but she’d craved Clark’s protection all the same.
Would it be bad to slip in two 'Awww's in a row?

Probably. So... *ahem*...

That's really fantastic. <g>

We're back to the softer emotions, and it's... heart wrenching.

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She hadn’t been planning what to do. He knew that as well as he knew how scared she was. If she’d been strategising, she’d have done it aloud. They’d have done it together.
*Love* that. I'm not sure why, exactly, but I absolutely love that.

Okay, Wendy... it's been a week, right?

Definately... what? 3 Days? Damn it. It *felt* like a week having to wait to read this... can we... I mean... you've been writing lots, right? Time for another post? <g>

Dave
Posted By: Ank. K. S. Re: FDK: 24 Part 4 - 11/07/05 10:54 PM
goofy

~Ankit wave
Posted By: Wendymr Re: FDK: 24 Part 4 - 11/08/05 03:40 PM
Wow again - every time I think you guys can't take my breath away any more than you did with the last feedback folder, you do it again, and even more so than before. Thank you so much! goofy Even my BRs don't know who the villain is yet! Well, they will when they get to the end of the file as it currently is, but thanks to NaFinWipsMo I've written way ahead of what they've had time to read. goofy I'm thinking I'll easily finish this story by the end of the month. smile

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I've come to the conclusion that you want us to suffer...that's why the cliffhangers....it has to be
LOL! Yup, tvnerdgirl, you didn't have to hang out around here for too long before figuring out that we like cliffhangers here. goofy (And, by the way, have you submitted Revelations in Captivity to the Archive yet? sloppy

And, yes, I've always loved that Lois feels safe panicking in front of Clark. She did it in the Pilot, when Baines almost killed them: Lois let go of her deepest secrets and fears. And, despite her regrets afterwards, he never betrayed her. She didn't need to warn him off, and I think she realised that afterwards. So it makes perfect sense to me that she wouldn't feel the need to put on a brave face in front of him for her own sake. smile

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So, how about part 5?
Coming up in just a few minutes!

Thank you all again, so much indeed. sloppy


Wendy smile
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