New: Comments: Single White Kryptonian 13 - Lois & Clark Fanfic Message Boards

Well, this chapter starts to open some things up.
Let me know what you think!

BTW, Yvonne...in chapter 11, Clark told Lois he had malaria, and that he had medications back in his room. She's doubtful, but was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt when he began to regain his strength.

As for MAF's question about how Rachel arrived so fast to the crime scene, well, it's a small town. Maybe someone called in to the dispatcher, or called 911. Who that might be remains a mystery

I really appreciate those of you who have chosen to continue reading despite the darkness in this story. I promise that there will be waffs as well, though it may be a little bit.

Anyway, thanks again!

Okay, everything is clear now. I totally missed reading Chapter 11! You can disregard everything I said, Shayne, because you covered it all. Duh! Silly me.

Yvonne

A very nice job you have here, using the fading in/out of consciousness juxtaposed with fading in/out of the flash back. Very nice use of space within the structure of the story, I like it.

Also, finally a clue as to what went wrong :relief at knowing:.

Very believable scenario. This story has texture, grit. It's very 'real-life-like,' and it's developing beautifully. Keep up the good work.

This continues to be a finely crafted story.

We are beginning to see that Clark is not the innocent victim we all wished to believe he was, but he probably deserving of at least some of the scorn and hatred that the people of Smallville hold for him.

It will be interesting to see how Lois will react once she finds out 'the truth' (and I don't mean the powers)about Clark.

Tank (who isn't sure Lois will have a lot of sympathy for an adulterer, even if he was young and stupid)

My understanding of the statutes is that he was under-age; therefore, the responsibility lies with the adult. It was a predatory relationship. It's the kind of thing I would dismiss out of hand. I don't know if Lois would forgive him or not; she is often written as quick to judge and slow to forgive, so much so that her reactions often baffle me.

Lois has additional issues with adultery- her father was a philanderer of long standing. This complicates things for her, even if she would otherwise be inclined to be more forgiving. That doesn't, of course, mean that THIS Lois will be as judgemental as other people have written her. It is something she'll have to consider, however.

oooh Clarkie Clarkie Clarkie... doing the coaches wife. tsk. tsk. tsk.

A very interesting plot you've created here, I'm looking forward to see how L&C develop through it.

Clark's past seems much more complex than I expected. But there were so many factors that led him down the wrong path.

Losing Martha and Jonathan as a moral compass left him dangling over temptation. Those foster brothers of his weren't any help and then the foster father sounds non-existent as far as the boys are concerned.

And so Lilah steps in. He needs the older role model to fill the gap that M/J left, but Lilah isn't that role model.

Complex and interesting.

One small typo:

You wrote "Rachel stepped away." I think you meant "Lilah"

gerry

Very well done and believable.

James.

Hi,

Great part.

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He wondered if he was ever going to have a relationship that wasn’t tainted with shame. Even what he had with Lilah, as special as it was, was something that his parents would have never approved.

Love was complicated. He’d been hurt when Lilah had pushed him into dating. It was the best way to keep the secret, she’d said. No one would suspect them if he was dating girls his own age. But every moment he’d spent away from her felt like a betrayal.

OMG! This Lilah is a pervert of minors she took advantage of Clark confusion?

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The nights he’d spent waiting for his parents to live or die had forever imprinted that smell on him.

A traumatic experience for little Clark!

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Ed was their foster father. He hadn’t been the same since his wife left him.

“Ed can’t even pull himself out of a bottle. He doesn’t give a damn about what we do, as long as the checks keep coming in.” Jess pulled out a cigarette.

Nobody supervises these kids! Not even the government agencies.

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The others laughed. “You’re wasting your time. Kent’s kissing up to the Sheriff’s daughter and bucking for a big fat college scholarship. He thinks he’s too good for us. Well, just see what a proud papa old man Harris is going to be when a piece of white trash asks to marry his daughter?”

They call this kids white trash. This are kids that the whole town knew their families and just because they are dead the town don’t care about them any more.

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He’d lost track of her, and there were so many things he wanted to tell her. She deserved to know his mistakes before someone else told her. There was no way he was going to be able to keep it from her.

:rolleyes: You better star talking!

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He hesitated. Love wasn’t something he could control; even after all these months what he had with Lilah was still fresh and new, . It filled a void he hadn’t even known he had, one that had open up on the night he’d learned of his parents death. It was powerful, in a way that he’d never expected.

He just needed to feel the love of his parents.

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Lilah put her finger to his lips. “We’ve talked about this before. Give them something to talk about, and they won’t look at what’s under their noses.”

“I can’t do this.” Clark insisted. “We’re hurting too many people.”

This woman probably did this with a very boy she tutors.

:rolleyes: Probably the hold town and her husband knew about it.

Was Trask already in Smallville?

Was he responsible for the Kent’s death?

More ASAP, please.

MAF

Shayne

An excellent part!

Tricia

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Coach Holder entered the room and moved quickly to kiss his wife. “I hope the tutoring has been going well. You won’t get in to Notre Dame if you slack off.”

“I expect that I’m learning more than I ever wanted to know, coach.” Clark sighed

DOH!!! Wow, Shayne you REALLY know how to twist a tale! Excellent work here!!

TEEEEEJ

Although the suspense is killing me, I have to wholeheartedly approve of the way we are learning about these characters just a little bit at a time; the same way and at the same rate they are learning about each other. All of your portrayals thus far have been so very *plausible*! Excellent job.