FDK--> All the Kings Horses - 08/19/05 07:28 AM
Quote
‘Hurry,’ they screamed. ‘Save her.’
TEEEEEEEEJ
You had me right *HERE* during that whole section!! That one line style, like hammering, bam, bam, bam! and getting closer and closer to edge.
TEEEEEEEEJ
Re: FDK--> All the Kings Horses - 08/19/05 09:36 AM
Wow!
Very well done, David! As TJ pointed out, you really upped the tension with the short one-line style. Reading each line was like being punched!
Good job and I'm definitely looking forward to more.
Irene
Very well done, David! As TJ pointed out, you really upped the tension with the short one-line style. Reading each line was like being punched!
Good job and I'm definitely looking forward to more.
Irene
Re: FDK--> All the Kings Horses - 08/19/05 01:55 PM
Wow.
Once again, David, your writing has the power to make me catch my breath and want - no, need - to go back and re-read sections to allow the full effect to sink in. So well done. So understated, and so powerful.
I wasn't sure that anything could cap Clark's ferocious, agonising struggle in the cage, or Lois's tears back in her apartment with her mother. But then you wrote this:
And she knows he's Clark, right? Or is she going to think she imagined the voice sounding like Clark?
Just one thing... where is Lex while all this is going on?
MORE!
What's your posting schedule???
Wendy
Once again, David, your writing has the power to make me catch my breath and want - no, need - to go back and re-read sections to allow the full effect to sink in. So well done. So understated, and so powerful.
I wasn't sure that anything could cap Clark's ferocious, agonising struggle in the cage, or Lois's tears back in her apartment with her mother. But then you wrote this:
Quote
Her heart skipped a beat when she saw him.
Beaten.
When she saw him, lying there, on her floor.
A tangled heap of broken man, blue spandex, and tattered red cape.
Beaten.
When she saw him, lying there, on her floor.
A tangled heap of broken man, blue spandex, and tattered red cape.
And she knows he's Clark, right? Or is she going to think she imagined the voice sounding like Clark?
Just one thing... where is Lex while all this is going on?
MORE!
What's your posting schedule???Wendy
Re: FDK--> All the Kings Horses - 08/19/05 03:53 PM
Wow! That was great. Very intense.
Jackie
Jackie
Re: FDK--> All the Kings Horses - 08/19/05 08:39 PM
Oh what they said David! Good job, more soon. LAura
Re: FDK--> All the Kings Horses - 08/20/05 12:41 AM
David
WOW!
You have me completely hooked. Please post more soon.
Tricia
WOW!
You have me completely hooked. Please post more soon.
Tricia
Re: FDK--> All the Kings Horses - 08/20/05 05:52 PM
Wow! Thanks for the fdk 
TJ - I'm glad you liked the one line style, I'm always worried when I write that way, that people will be tearing their hair out
Wendy - Once again, your fdk has made me grin like a fool all day
Tricia - Amazing?
TJ, Irene, Wendy, Laura, Jackie, Tricia... thank you all so much. I'm glad you enjoyed part one... I just hope you don't hate me when it's over
TJ - I'm glad you liked the one line style, I'm always worried when I write that way, that people will be tearing their hair out
Wendy - Once again, your fdk has made me grin like a fool all day
Tricia - Amazing?
TJ, Irene, Wendy, Laura, Jackie, Tricia... thank you all so much. I'm glad you enjoyed part one... I just hope you don't hate me when it's over
Re: FDK--> All the Kings Horses - 08/21/05 03:41 AM
David,
Fantastic part 1 - look forward to reading more.
SNL
Fantastic part 1 - look forward to reading more.
SNL