Lois & Clark Forums
Posted By: Karla Kent FDK: Hide and Seek (15/15) - 02/07/05 05:07 PM
OMG Wanda!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was so romantic, a great end for a great story.

The kiss, Oh Lord, It made me shake and dream, daydream laugh

So sad that is the end, I love the story.

Well Done thumbsup

Karla
Posted By: Wendymr Re: FDK: Hide and Seek (15/15) - 02/07/05 05:12 PM
Congratulations on finishing this, Wanda! I've enjoyed it from start to finish. This is a very sensitive, careful treatment of a very difficult subject; I'm no expert, but it felt to me as if you didn't put a foot wrong.

I loved the WAFFy finish, including Clark's insistence that Lois was never again going to spend a holiday alone, and the fact that they got Ian a job at the Planet. Perfect! thumbsup

I was a little confused about one thing, though. Lois got very panicky and skittish when she thought that Clark was going to propose - twice, in fact. She was relieved when he gave her the pendant instead and asked her to be his girlfriend. After that, though, he made it clear that he was asking her to spend the rest of her life with him - so why didn't she turn skittish again then? Don't get me wrong; it was a lovely finish. But I just couldn't reconcile Lois's reaction to what was in effect a proposal, given her earlier reaction.

Oh, and a tiny typo:

Quote
“Lois, if you think I’m going to leave you alone on another holiday, you’ve got another thing coming...”
It's 'another think coming', not 'thing'.


Well done! This will definitely be on my Kerth list for next year.


Wendy smile
Posted By: Laurach Re: FDK: Hide and Seek (15/15) - 02/08/05 08:28 AM
Wow! LOL Wendy! Everyone in America says "another thing coming" not "another think coming." That is the weirdest "think" I ever heard<g> I wonder where the original expression originated. I am not sure who is right in this case but it is very interesting. I wonder if it morphed from British English to American. Maybe Americans have it all wrong all this time!Very possible. But another think sounds wrong to my American ears. Is there a way to check an expression in either version of English? Laura
Posted By: Wendymr Re: FDK: Hide and Seek (15/15) - 02/08/05 09:06 AM
No, it's definitely 'think', Laura. I know a lot of people - though I've only seen it with some North Americans - mis-hear it and write it as 'thing'. But if you consider the sentence as a whole, it makes no sense at all. 'Another think coming' relates to the start of the statement: 'if you think that...'.

Just to show that I'm right and it isn't just a UK/US thing, see here . The website is Paul Brians' Common Errors in English site; Brians is professor of English at Washington State University.


Wendy smile
Posted By: Nicole S Re: FDK: Hide and Seek (15/15) - 02/08/05 11:41 AM
Wow, what an ending to such a nice story!! I'll miss catching up on it whenever I get a chance!! smile


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With that, she threaded her fingers through his tousled hair and captured his lips in a kiss that made his glasses fog up, made his heart pound furiously in his chest, made him moan for more. It was a kiss that left no doubt in his mind as to where she stood on the subject. It was a kiss that spoke of love, of fresh, new beginnings--of a life that was theirs *together,* from now on.
What a fantastic kiss and a fantastic way to close a story!! smile1 NICOLE
Posted By: mariadferdez. Re: FDK: Hide and Seek (15/15) - 02/08/05 12:45 PM
Hi,

Great story. drool Beautiful words. clap clap

MAF clap
Posted By: Wanda Detroit Re: FDK: Hide and Seek (15/15) - 02/08/05 05:12 PM
First off--a huge thank you to everyone who has been reading and/or commenting! I appreciate it so much! I wasn't sure how people would react to such a story, and this is my longest (in terms of pages and time spent) L&C fic so far. Sort of a labor of love! clap Thank you again for reading! clap Especially when the lack of Internet ruined my posting schedule, you all still read on.

Secondly, re: the "think" vs. "thing" - I was trying for a colloquialism--maybe it's correct to say "think," but I had always thought that the phrase was "another thing coming." Or at least that is probably what most people (or Americans?) actually say, regardless whether it's correct. wink

Finally--Regarding the end... I meant the necklace and the sentiments Clark gave to Lois to be sort of like a 'promise ring.' Like, more committment than being "boyfriend and girlfriend," but a little less 'scary' than being engaged. I hope this came out clearly that it's not a direct proposal. It is sort of the same thing. But I wanted to show Clark making a committment to Lois, but doing so in a way that wasn't overstepping the fact that she was probably still quite sensitive (even though she's seen a great deal of improvement). I think the 'M-word' in general scares our Lois, with or without being assaulted. Clark is trying to be careful here--by not scaring her too much, but also expressing how deep his feelings run.

Is that clear?

Thanks again for reading and commenting!
--Wanda laugh
Posted By: YellowDartVader Re: FDK: Hide and Seek (15/15) - 02/08/05 06:39 PM
Sorry, I fell behind in my reading after the first few parts and I still have to catch up, but I wanted to agree with Wanda --

Quote
Secondly, re: the "think" vs. "thing" - I was trying for a colloquialism--maybe it's correct to say "think," but I had always thought that the phrase was "another thing coming." Or at least that is probably what most people (or Americans?) actually say, regardless whether it's correct.
Americans (or at least this American) say "thing". I've never heard "another think coming" so I think we say "another thing coming".

Looking forward to getting a chance to sit down and read this in its entirety!

- Laura
Posted By: Laurach Re: FDK: Hide and Seek (15/15) - 02/08/05 07:18 PM
Hi Wanda, Karen found this link on the think thing thing,<g>

http://www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_board/16/messages/175.html

It debates it a little bit. It is intersting if nothing else. I learned something. Laura
Posted By: Terry Leatherwood Re: FDK: Hide and Seek (15/15) - 02/08/05 09:05 PM
This here American says "another think coming" because the phrase is an assertion that the other party will momentarily have to change his/her mind. I've never heard or read of "another thing coming" unless there's another Addams Family movie on the way.

All that aside, I liked the story. Being male, I don't fully understand what a woman would experience if she were assaulted, but this brings a lot of clarity to my mind. It also makes me consider my actions, attitudes, and speech in a slightly different light. I believe I'll be a little more sensitive to the ladies I'm around from now on.

Thanks for the excellent narrative. You worked hard on this piece and it shows. Well done, Wanda.
Posted By: daneel Re: FDK: Hide and Seek (15/15) - 02/09/05 12:18 AM
Nice wrapping smile blush

Jose smile1
Posted By: Melisa Re: FDK: Hide and Seek (15/15) - 02/09/05 04:11 PM
Great job. I really enjoyed this story.

Melisa
Posted By: TriciaW Re: FDK: Hide and Seek (15/15) - 02/11/05 12:40 AM
Wanda

A wonderful finish! So WAFFy and romantic. smile1 I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Tricia cool
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