Well, I know it's a bit weird, but let me know what you think.

lol, Shayne Great vision of this future "utopia" and I like the way you use it to explain Tempus's first few unplugged days. And once he gets out of this cell, he'll be ready for more elaborate strategies. Cool.

PJ

That was different! "Headnet" - what a scary thought that is! Yikes.

And we thought Big Brother was bad.

You could do a sequel to this..........

/me loves sequels!

Ooooh. I like! Very thought-provoking, Shayne. I've probably said that way too many times already, but the idea of Utopia has always disturbed me because I feared it would be like what Tempus describes in your piece. I particularly like the idea that he lost all sense of reality.

But I've got a complaint! This would be so fantastic in a long, convoluted story where you'd show us Tempus's character through several scenes of the kind! I know you've been very busy lately, but by all means try to find sometimes to feed your hungry readers a long story where you give us that kind of revealing scenes.

Kaethel

Very nice.

I like the different premise!

~Liz

Hi,

Great story.

MAF

Cool, I like. Ending packed a good punch for me.

JD

Very clever premise!

I'm not sure I agree entirely with Kae. While I would certainly like to see a longer Shayne-fic, this works really well as a short. Sort of a quick one-two punch.

Shayne

A fantastic premise!

Tricia

Nice, Shayne!

An interesting, thought-provoking view of Utopia. Maybe Tempus isn't that bad, after all?

I, too, think it works great as an one-parter.
But keep writing nonetheless!

See ya
AnnaBtG. (computer addict - literally speaking)

Excellent, Shayne!

Mere

Now that's a real "short-story"; one that says a lot in a very few lines and really packs a wallop.

Nan

I really appreciate the feedback. Chris, Headnet is a scary idea, but it's only a logical extrapolation of today.

We've all known people who seem to have cell phones permanently attached to their ears, and now phones are more and more being connected to the web. I've seen parties with younger people where everyone was talking on their cell phones to people not there and no one was 'in the moment'.

Helene, I'm not sure the story could be maintained throughout a longer format. This story is devoid of much of Tempus's usual sense of irony and humor; that could be explained as mental exhaustion for the moment.A larger story, though would have to change.

Anna, always remember the source. Tempus doesn't like to think that he's all bad, but then, most people don't. As Maria says, people can justify almost anything to themselves so they can do what they want.

Thank you all for the feedback. It's been a while since I've had any. Of course, I guess I have to write for that to happen...

Very nice!

Sort of a twist on Minority Report and an episode of the Outer Limits where everyone was connected to the internet via a hardware in their head.

An interesting spin on things.

Much better than what I have been working on for more than 3 years, which will probably never see the light of day...

James

Awesome Shayne! Loved it! I like having new ideas for why villians do what they do and that just made so much sense