Hi,

Very interesting.

Fascinating! Quite unexpected ending. Is that the end?


More, please. Thank you.

Hi there, and welcome to the boards. Hope
you have fun here.

I think it's very brave of you to post a story in another language not your native one - the very thought of doing the same thing in Italian or French or whatever would scare the bejesus out of me!

LabRat

thank you; I really appreciate your comments.

If I should be honest about writing more, i already have in mind a possible continuation.

perhaps I will write morre about that Particular Altclark.

Hey!

This was a great idea, a great plot! Your language does need some polishing, but it's still very good. (a comment that I don't know how much could count, as I'm not a native English speaker either)

I love this twist and I would not mind reading some more.

AnnaBtG.

Was Lois the monster? You did mention 'him' at one point, and so that threw me.

yes, Lois was the monster. Im Eeeeeevil.

Edit: edited the story again. hopefully there are no more errors.

I noticed you did edit it, but that paragraph still has the word him in it, which definitely references your monster as being a man. Only being nit picky because the ending is such a good surprise, you don't want it to be contradicted by your earlier text.