FDK: The End of the Road - 4/19 - 11/02/12 03:29 AM
Here's the next chapter. Hope you like it. Maybe not so much action, but some points clarified and some characters show up. Have fun!
Re: FDK: The End of the Road - 4/19 - 11/03/12 05:01 AM
Excellent!
Lex at the press conference was everything you have written him to be. Intelligent, witty urbane and quite mannerly. In short, he charmed the pants off the Fourth Estate and they enjoyed every minute of it. Who else but Lex could put a positive spin on having his own personal security force?
Roberta or Bobbie was a very interesting and vital new character to this story. Ultra Woman was right...despite the 'down home' affectations she is not a woman to be trifled with. Even Lex recognized that!
'Imperial Stormtroopers'... nice.
Glad to know Arianna's poisoning plot was uncovered quickly. Still she might have been too clever by halves...what person - criminal or not - would ally themselves with someone like her?
Karen Vollmer's meeting with Ultra Woman was bone chilling to say the least. Might I add here that having Lois speak in this manner is a VERY good idea. No one would confuse her with Lois Lane.
Bring on chapter FIVE!
Lex at the press conference was everything you have written him to be. Intelligent, witty urbane and quite mannerly. In short, he charmed the pants off the Fourth Estate and they enjoyed every minute of it. Who else but Lex could put a positive spin on having his own personal security force?
Roberta or Bobbie was a very interesting and vital new character to this story. Ultra Woman was right...despite the 'down home' affectations she is not a woman to be trifled with. Even Lex recognized that!
'Imperial Stormtroopers'... nice.
Glad to know Arianna's poisoning plot was uncovered quickly. Still she might have been too clever by halves...what person - criminal or not - would ally themselves with someone like her?
Karen Vollmer's meeting with Ultra Woman was bone chilling to say the least. Might I add here that having Lois speak in this manner is a VERY good idea. No one would confuse her with Lois Lane.
Bring on chapter FIVE!
Re: FDK: The End of the Road - 4/19 - 11/03/12 03:27 PM
Quite an intriguing story. I am somewhat surprised you will be able to resolve everything in just 19 installments.
I finally got through the first two parts, and have to say things make a lot more sense now.
I finally got through the first two parts, and have to say things make a lot more sense now.
Re: FDK: The End of the Road - 4/19 - 11/04/12 09:05 AM
Ah, I thought the toxin might prove dangerous for any medical personnel/police who encountered the bills. I guess Arianna missed that hole in her plan.
Thompson was an interesting character; I hope we see more of her.
Thompson was an interesting character; I hope we see more of her.
Re: FDK: The End of the Road - 4/19 - 11/05/12 09:17 PM
Re: FDK: The End of the Road - 4/19 - 11/08/12 07:38 PM
Nice feedbacks. Good feedbacks, Here, little feedbacks, come and get your verbs. If you're really nice, you can have a couple of adverbs as dessert!
Morgana, thanks for the comments about the press conference and how Lex came across. That's pretty much how I wanted my readers to see him. Gladd you liked Bobbie, too. And I think Karen almost wet herself while facing down Ultra Woman, and when she found out about her dead comrades. It's hard not to be intimidated by someone who speaks to you in such a commanding tone.
Thanks for staying with the first two stories, John. The second one was pretty long, too, so I'm glad this one is making sense to you now.
AmyPrime, those toxins were pretty permanent, weren't they? I'm trying to present Arianna Carlin as someone who's trying to wrap up a bunch of loose ends before leaving the stage for the last time.
Framwork4, glad you're still with us. Yes, Roberta is modeled after Kyra Sedgewick's character Brenda Leigh Johnson, but with some definite differences. We'll see some of those differences when she shows up again later, although Bobbie isn't going to be a major character in the story.
Next chapter up very soon! Hope you all enjoy it too.
Morgana, thanks for the comments about the press conference and how Lex came across. That's pretty much how I wanted my readers to see him. Gladd you liked Bobbie, too. And I think Karen almost wet herself while facing down Ultra Woman, and when she found out about her dead comrades. It's hard not to be intimidated by someone who speaks to you in such a commanding tone.
Thanks for staying with the first two stories, John. The second one was pretty long, too, so I'm glad this one is making sense to you now.
AmyPrime, those toxins were pretty permanent, weren't they? I'm trying to present Arianna Carlin as someone who's trying to wrap up a bunch of loose ends before leaving the stage for the last time.
Framwork4, glad you're still with us. Yes, Roberta is modeled after Kyra Sedgewick's character Brenda Leigh Johnson, but with some definite differences. We'll see some of those differences when she shows up again later, although Bobbie isn't going to be a major character in the story.
Next chapter up very soon! Hope you all enjoy it too.
Re: FDK: The End of the Road - 4/19 - 11/08/12 08:16 PM
Hey, the second sotry was only about half as long as "Missing Lois".
It was also not nearly as long as it would have been if you had covered most of the year or so from Lana's death to Becca's near death.
This story has to have the most positive portrayals of Lana in any L&C fan fic. To my knowledge it is the only example in L&C fan fic of Superman married to Lana Lang.
There are some other examples of CK married to Lana Lang, but he was clearly not Superman is those.
I am wondering though if Clark's interactions with Lois are colored by the fact that Lana made him promise to never, ever chear on her with Lois. I guess he technically can't now that Lana is dead, but I wonder if that makes him hesitant to try anything with Lois.
It was also not nearly as long as it would have been if you had covered most of the year or so from Lana's death to Becca's near death.
This story has to have the most positive portrayals of Lana in any L&C fan fic. To my knowledge it is the only example in L&C fan fic of Superman married to Lana Lang.
There are some other examples of CK married to Lana Lang, but he was clearly not Superman is those.
I am wondering though if Clark's interactions with Lois are colored by the fact that Lana made him promise to never, ever chear on her with Lois. I guess he technically can't now that Lana is dead, but I wonder if that makes him hesitant to try anything with Lois.