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Posted By: Mouserocks FDK: Mr. Kent Is Dead - 01/06/12 11:32 PM
Comments here, please! Sorry for the WHAM and loose structure. The reason I couldn't use this in my real story line was because I didn't want Jonathan's death to be the reason why Lois and Clark get back together, and because I thought it would take the story in a different direction than I wanted it to go...

wave SJT
Posted By: Deadly Chakram Re: FDK: Mr. Kent Is Dead - 01/06/12 11:50 PM
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Lois tried to hold herself together as she had barreled down the road.
What's going on?

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When she saw him standing there, so stern faced, speaking with some supposedly important people, she couldn’t keep some tears from escaping.
Clark?

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“What is it?” Concern filled his features and for a brief moment Lois felt hope spring within her. Hope that he might hear her out, that things might be like they used to be again.
frown

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“I’m sorry, Ms. Lane. I have to go on in a moment,” he gestured, stepping away from her.
Not Mrs. Kent? Sheesh, things really *are* bad between them, huh?

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Two men appeared practically out of nowhere, ushering Lois to return to the crowds. “No! Wait! Superman! It’s an emergency...”
What *is* going on?

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Lois wiped her face and cupped her hand over her mouth, trying to contain her sobs. “This isn’t about us, right now,” she continued whispering.
Uh oh. I have a very bad feeling about this...

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She sniffed before plowing forward. “It’s about Clark’s... your father.”
eek

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“He... he had a heart attack this morning,” Lois watched, heart breaking, as Superman gripped the sides of the podium, knuckles going white.
He...died? <reads title again> He died.

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“He didn’t... didn’t make it.”
whinging

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Clark closed his eyes and ran a shaky hand down his face. He didn’t move for several long moments. Finally, he looked up and opened his deep brown eyes- his gaze meeting Lois’ own. He was pleading with her, begging her to be lying, asking with his eyes if it was really true. Lois couldn’t hold back any more tears and they gushed forth freely. And with that, he knew. The presence of tears stung at his eyes, and he pinched them shut fiercely. He wished he could hear his father’s reassuring heartbeat once more- even though from this distance, it wouldn’t really be possible- and the lack of it’s sound was only twisting his gut more.
whinging This just broke my heart.


That was one of the saddest things ever! Well done, my friend! Excuse me while I go dry my eyes... mecry
Posted By: VirginiaR Re: FDK: Mr. Kent Is Dead - 01/07/12 12:06 AM
whinging whinging whinging

What a way to compound the heartache! L&C not talking and Jonathan!

Well written. Yes. I want to read more! I can understand why you wouldn't why THIS to be the reason they get back together, but it would work as a way to get them to start talking again.

I'm glad Lois had it in her to tell him despite him blowing her off. Teaches him for refusing to talk to her.

I also thought the Mr. Kent was Clark and that Lois was going to announce or worse that Superman was going to announce the death of Clark Kent.

Very well done. clap mecry
Posted By: Lynn S. M. Re: FDK: Mr. Kent Is Dead - 01/07/12 05:44 AM
What a powerful, haunting scene. It's one of those short pieces that you can read in a couple of minutes but that will stick with you far longer.

Well done!

Joy,
Lynn

p.s., My thoughts were the same as Virginia's. I thought you were going to have the way Lois told Clark of his father's death be the wedge that drove them apart finally and Clark/Superman announce that Clark Kent was dead as a means of unofficially divorcing Lois. Or, alternately (and more in character) being so in shock that he said something that the press would misinterpret as Clark being dead. I thought, for example, that Clark would have kept his identities separate enough to refer to his father as "Mr. Kent," instead of "Dad" and had him utter the title of the piece while in shock. Or maybe simply say, "He's dead?!" and have at least some in the press make the (incorrect) connection that that was a continuation of his conversation with Lois, so the antecedent of "he" would be her husband.

I'm glad you didn't take the story in that direction.

And since your indicated that this was part 1/1(?), I assume you are open to requests for a part 2. Consider this such a request. :-)
Posted By: Meadowrose Re: FDK: Mr. Kent Is Dead - 01/07/12 11:04 AM
I'd definintely like another part to this with a little more back-story to it.
Posted By: Deadly Chakram Re: FDK: Mr. Kent Is Dead - 01/07/12 12:28 PM
I'm also in the "more please!" camp!
Posted By: Mouserocks Re: FDK: Mr. Kent Is Dead - 01/07/12 02:24 PM
Wow! Thanks for all the comments!

Deadly Chakram:
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Not Mrs. Kent? Sheesh, things really *are* bad between them, huh?
Yeah. Glad you caught that. wink He said it mostly to prove a point, not that they're getting divorced or anything, but they are still going through some stuff... though I agree it was mean to say. That's why I had him say it.
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What *is* going on?
Can't quite tell you. Let's just say that Superman has been getting increasingly involved in politics, and speaking at a press conference. There are some concerned parties present.
Virginia:
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I can understand why you wouldn't why THIS to be the reason they get back together, but it would work as a way to get them to start talking again.
True. And like I said, I've gone down that path in my mind, and it worked. But. Uhm... evil I didn't say I'd keep it simple if I did continue.

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And since your indicated that this was part 1/1(?), I assume you are open to requests for a part 2. Consider this such a request. :-)
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I'd definintely like another part to this with a little more back-story to it.
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I'm also in the "more please!" camp!
Thanks! I'll probably add more when I get the chance. But I can't promise I'll keep it nice and clean cut... devil
Posted By: MrsLuthor Re: FDK: Mr. Kent Is Dead - 01/07/12 02:36 PM
Have you already posted the story you were going to include this in or is a WIP?

Cause I'm like jawdrop

& I wanna know what happened before and after, like... now. lol
Posted By: jackiek Re: FDK: Mr. Kent Is Dead - 01/07/12 05:33 PM
Oh my. So very sad. Very well written.

Jackie
Posted By: Mouserocks Re: FDK: Mr. Kent Is Dead - 01/07/12 09:40 PM
MrsLuthor: No, it's still a WIP. It's actually a fairly new concept, I've just been mulling over it a couple of weeks. Working out the kinks. Don't know when the official version will be done, but hopefully soon.

Jackie: Thank you. blush
Posted By: Morgana Re: FDK: Mr. Kent Is Dead - 01/08/12 03:55 PM
Aargh! Talk about your old-fashioned cliff hangers! Mr. Kent is dead indeed. This is an excellent story which begs for an ending.

Jonathan is the one who holds Martha together with his quiet strength, Martha holds everyone else together. The question is...what happens now? confused
Posted By: Mouserocks Re: FDK: Mr. Kent Is Dead - 01/08/12 06:32 PM
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Originally posted by Morgana:
Aargh! Talk about your old-fashioned cliff hangers! Mr. Kent is dead indeed. This is an excellent story which begs for an ending.

Jonathan is the one who holds Martha together with his quiet strength, Martha holds everyone else together. The question is...what happens now? confused
evil Won't say just yet. I'll hopefully be able to post another update within the week, but again, I'm not sure how far I'll take this, considering I'm not done with the original.
Posted By: Morgana Re: FDK: Mr. Kent Is Dead - 01/08/12 07:53 PM
No worries! Good work takes time!
Posted By: IolantheAlias Re: FDK: Mr. Kent Is Dead - 01/08/12 08:34 PM
More please.
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