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Posted By: bobbart FDK: When the Sky Falls (10/26) - 01/20/10 06:55 PM
Feedback here. smile1

Bob
Posted By: HappyGirl Re: FDK: When the Sky Falls (10/26) - 01/20/10 10:20 PM
I know I've read that before as a beta reader, but it struck me as especially poignant tonight in light of the disaster in Haiti.
Posted By: BJ Re: FDK: When the Sky Falls (10/26) - 01/21/10 11:09 AM
I'm still enjoying your story, Bob. It's a unique and interesting view of the Nightfall episode. We get to see a Lois and Clark that act just a little differently than usual - Lois is more cautious and even without his memory, Clark is more assertive.

So sad that Lois' apartment was destroyed, but the offer of staying with Clark can only be a good thing. At least, my inner fangirl was squeeing and whispering "do it, do it" under my breath.

Nice work. I can't wait to see Lois start to put the pieces together about Lex. Someone needs to give Clark a picture of Luthor so he can tell Lois his gut reactions.

More soon!
Posted By: Darth Michael Re: FDK: When the Sky Falls (10/26) - 01/21/10 02:23 PM
You're portraying this really well, Bob clap

Quote
“Okay people, I'd like all of you to head home and see how your homes fared. Based on what we’re hearing about the level of destruction, some of you are going to find your homes destroyed. I'll ask for those of you that still have a place to live to consider hosting other members of our Daily Planet family.
I think after this, I started to wonder whether it would be Lois' or Clark's apartment that got nuked during the night. Considering Clark has the globe at his, the memory loss, the couch, etc. it was the logical way to go clap

Michael
Posted By: TOC Re: FDK: When the Sky Falls (10/26) - 01/21/10 09:12 PM
Like others have said, this is a fascinating, thought-provoking and harrowing description of what it would be like to have your city partially destroyed. The idea of finding your own apartment building destroyed is enough to give you pause:

Quote
As they walked, Lois was lost in her thoughts. Her mind bounced between things as inconsequential as her furniture to wondering about the state of her neighbors.
Awful.

And Clark still has that burning sensation inside. He still has kryptonite in his system.

Imagine that he doesn't remember his own bedroom, just the fact that Lois has slept in there! I hope Lois accepts his offer to let her stay there.

Ann
Posted By: IolantheAlias Re: FDK: When the Sky Falls (10/26) - 01/21/10 09:43 PM
My inner fangirl is squeeing too. Hey, get L&C spending the night together! smile
Posted By: bobbart Re: FDK: When the Sky Falls (10/26) - 01/22/10 09:20 PM
Thank you all for the comments.

I wanted to have enough damage that there was a genuine impact but not be so much that this would be an exploration of life in a post-apocalyptic world. This is a story about Lois and Clark, not the end of the world.

There is much more I’m tempted to say but I keep having to erase my notes. This is the point where I feel like if I say hardly anything then I’ve said too much.

Thanks again.

Bob
Posted By: cookiesmom Re: FDK: When the Sky Falls (10/26) - 01/23/10 05:56 AM
Does that mean the next chapter is ready?

(Only checking for it about 4 times a day . . . )
Posted By: elizabeth Re: FDK: When the Sky Falls (10/26) - 01/23/10 09:50 AM
LOL cookiesmom! I keep coming back and checking for the next chapter multiple times each day too. smile1

Cheers
Elizabeth
Posted By: bobbart Re: FDK: When the Sky Falls (10/26) - 01/23/10 01:09 PM
c-mom, elizabeth:

Thank you so much. You made my morning. smile1 After that, how could I delay?

Chapter 11 is up now.

Bob
Posted By: elizabeth Re: FDK: When the Sky Falls (10/26) - 01/23/10 02:34 PM
Thank you! Off to read it now! jump

Cheers
Elizabeth
Posted By: Elisabeth Re: FDK: When the Sky Falls (10/26) - 01/23/10 07:58 PM
What a poignant section of the story. I'm surprised that the Daily Planet building survived as intact as it did, but not surprised that Lois' support structure was somewhat taken away. I forsee another offer from Lex in Lois' near future.


Elisabeth
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