FDK: Ficathon-Get The Story! 3/3 - Lois & Clark Fanfic Message Boards

Feedback here please.

Cute story with a great ending. I really enjoyed it.

Kathy
www.chili-everyway.com
Have It Your Way, Every Way

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“A fifteen-year old boy is in critical condition, his mother is in shock, and his little sister can’t stop crying. There were witnesses, but they’re not talking. The officer I talked to said they’ve had half a dozen like this in the last week alone.”

“Sounds like a job for Superman,” Lois said sadly.

I can’t remember if this happened in Neverending Battle, but aww... poor Clark.

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She’d caught sight of the evening edition’s headline – “Superman’s Back!”. She knew Clark had the byline. God, how did he do it?

Wouldn’t you like to know, Lois?

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He was deliberately freezing her out.

Only till you learn that he can’t be pushed around.

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She slammed a piece of paper down. Lois picked it up. On one side, it was clearly labeled – addressed to Lois Lane. On the other – Lois gasped as she saw a map with streets and arrows and directions. In the center, a large “X” was labeled, “Superman’s Spaceship”.

You know, whether it’s Lois or Lucy, it’s funny that either one of them would have looked for the “x marks the spot space ship” map. It shows just how eager they were to get to Superman. And also how awed they were.

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raw sewage

She better go get some kind of shots. I’m sure she got exposed to something.

I think I must have been bitten by 10 million mosquitoes when I first moved to Puerto Rico. I guess then your body becomes accustomed or builds an immunity or something because after that it wasn’t so bad.

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Cat got the last word. “Don’t worry, Lois. You can’t ruin what’s already ruined.”

Ewww... What a catty dig.

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There was a curious excitement in knowing that she wasn’t protected, that with one step she’d fall thirty stories.

Good thing Lois doesn’t suffer from vertigo because something like this would set it off every time!

Great story!!

I liked the way that Lucy was only doing what Lois told her:

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She whirled toward Lucy. “And you stole the map off my desk! That’s what you were shoving in your file case last night!” She inhaled, faced Lucy accusingly. “You were going to steal my story!”

“You were the one who told me to do anything to get the story!” Lucy retorted.

“I didn’t mean steal it from me…”

Nice use of "karmic payback".

Bob

That was a great, little fic, Iolanthe!

I liked how you managed to still have Lois learn her lesson, even though it was Lucy who got all dirty.

Michael

Loved your story!

Especially liked the part where Lucy (accidentally)goes on the hunt for the ship and that Lois inevitably still learned her lesson.

This was great - and I think I even liked Lois leaning her lesson by Lucy stealing her story more than what happened in the actual show.

So many good lines, it's hard to pick what to highlight. Here were a couple that had me snorting.

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“You were the one who told me to do anything to get the story!” Lucy retorted.

“I didn’t mean steal it from me…”

Ha!

And this one:

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“And you’ll apologize to Clark Kent?”

She pulled herself from Superman’s arms. There were some limits. Lois Lane didn’t do certain things. “Not in this millennium.”

I giggled my way through the whole story. This was a very fun version of what could have been. I loved the insights into what the characters were thinking. You captured them all perfectly.

Lots of cute twists here. It's fun to see all the dialogue from the show, but often out of the mouths of different characters. And I loved that it all ended up the same in the end -- Lois learned her lesson, Clark got her respect, but she still wouldn't apologize outright. <g> At least in this story, Clark got to hear the apology, even if it was as Superman.

Nice job, Iolan! These were some pretty specific prompts, but you definitely rose to the occasion and delivered a fun story.

Kathy

Just popping in to add my thoughts - most of which you've already heard - to the FDK you've received for a fantastic story.

I love the final scene. You tie everything together, throw in a little piece of canon with Lois being unwilling to apologise to Clark and make us smile because she admitted she was ashamed of herself to Clark, but just didn't know it was him.

Great story, Iolanthe.

Corrina.

Gosh, thanks, everyone. Couldn't have done it without stellar beta support from Female Hawk and Darth Michael. You guys rock!

And all those protestations of how you can't write... Well, they are right out the window...