FDK: When the Sky Falls (7/26) - 01/04/10 08:57 PM
Comments welcome. Bob
Comments welcome. Bob
Re: FDK: When the Sky Falls (7/26) - 01/04/10 09:25 PM
Hi, Bob! 
I'm glad to see this up.
Poor Clark. He didn't really mean to let that slip, but I can completely understand why he did.
My first instinct is to insist that Lois would never be so taken in by Lex Luthor, but of course she would because she was (in the show). At least your Lois has more of an excuse for her confusion--between Superman kissing her senseless and Clark accidentally revealing his feelings for her--on top of the impedning meteorite strikes--she's got a lot to think about.
Your characterization of Lex was spot-on. He doesn't come right out and accuse Superman, so he doesn't give Lois the option of defending Superman to him. He just implies that things don't look very good, which is not something she can really argue with. Ooh, he's slippery.
I do hope she'll wake up enough to realize how creepy it is that he has a replica of her apartment in his shelter. Serious stalker vibe there!
This reminds me of a wonderful exchange from Caroline K's If I Were You:
"I had lunch with Perry yesterday, and Lex just 'happened' to be dining at the same restaurant. Perry and I had made those plans over the phone, Clark. There's no way Lex could have known about them unless he's...."
"Tapped your phone, bugged your apartment, had you followed," Clark finished for her, sounding grim. "He's probably done all three."
She stared at him. "You're not exactly making me feel better here."
"You're being stalked by a sociopath, Lois. I don't know how to make you feel better about that."
I'm glad to see this up. Poor Clark. He didn't really mean to let that slip, but I can completely understand why he did.
My first instinct is to insist that Lois would never be so taken in by Lex Luthor, but of course she would because she was (in the show). At least your Lois has more of an excuse for her confusion--between Superman kissing her senseless and Clark accidentally revealing his feelings for her--on top of the impedning meteorite strikes--she's got a lot to think about.
Your characterization of Lex was spot-on. He doesn't come right out and accuse Superman, so he doesn't give Lois the option of defending Superman to him. He just implies that things don't look very good, which is not something she can really argue with. Ooh, he's slippery.
I do hope she'll wake up enough to realize how creepy it is that he has a replica of her apartment in his shelter. Serious stalker vibe there!
This reminds me of a wonderful exchange from Caroline K's If I Were You:
"I had lunch with Perry yesterday, and Lex just 'happened' to be dining at the same restaurant. Perry and I had made those plans over the phone, Clark. There's no way Lex could have known about them unless he's...."
"Tapped your phone, bugged your apartment, had you followed," Clark finished for her, sounding grim. "He's probably done all three."
She stared at him. "You're not exactly making me feel better here."
"You're being stalked by a sociopath, Lois. I don't know how to make you feel better about that."
Re: FDK: When the Sky Falls (7/26) - 01/05/10 01:17 AM
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It seemed to Lois that even though he didn't remember learning to write, his command of style and knowledge of the rules of grammar were untouched. Clark might not remember his past, but given a set of facts, he could still generate a compelling story.
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“I sure must like Double Fudge Crunch bars and Cream Soda. I have a lot on hand and I'm getting one of those emotional reactions from looking at them.”
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Lois found herself blushing. “Actually, those are for me. We’ve worked late here a few times and you know I like them.”
Re: FDK: When the Sky Falls (7/26) - 01/05/10 12:43 PM
Like Michael pointed out, it's adorable that Clark is getting a warm emotional reaction from Double Fudge Crunch bars and Cream Soda, just because he subconsciously knows that those snacks connect him with Lois! 
Lex creeps me out. Utterly and totally. I hope Lois realizes she should head back to Clark's because... well, because she should head back to Clark!
Ann
Lex creeps me out. Utterly and totally. I hope Lois realizes she should head back to Clark's because... well, because she should head back to Clark!
Ann
Re: FDK: When the Sky Falls (7/26) - 01/05/10 07:10 PM
I like how she knew she had to head back to Clark's. It was instinctive. She goes there when she needs help, or comfort, or support. She doesn't realize it yet consciously but that's what she does.
Re: FDK: When the Sky Falls (7/26) - 01/06/10 11:32 PM
HappyGirl:
Lex is always hard for me to write. I dislike him so much I'm always fighting the temptation to make him over-the-top slimy-evil. However, then (as you pointed out in beta) if he's too obviously evil, then Lois will see him only as an enemy.
For the clone-bedroom scene, I tried to capture the feel of the show. This was smooth-Lex in motion. I will never understand how he could show her that room and not come off as a creepy and dangerous.
Michael:
I have to admit that I'm having way too much fun with the "emotions instead of memories" thing. That wasn't even in my first outline of the story but once it reared its head, the whole story changed around that idea.
Thank you all. I've fallen a bit behind mostly for RL reasons but this story is taking longer to get through than I thought. Based on the number of rewrites each chapter is experiencing, I've come to believe this is at (or possibly past) the ragged-edge of my skill level as a writer. We will get there, it just may take a bit longer than I first expected.
Bob
Lex is always hard for me to write. I dislike him so much I'm always fighting the temptation to make him over-the-top slimy-evil. However, then (as you pointed out in beta) if he's too obviously evil, then Lois will see him only as an enemy.
For the clone-bedroom scene, I tried to capture the feel of the show. This was smooth-Lex in motion. I will never understand how he could show her that room and not come off as a creepy and dangerous.
Michael:
I have to admit that I'm having way too much fun with the "emotions instead of memories" thing. That wasn't even in my first outline of the story but once it reared its head, the whole story changed around that idea.
Quote
What's the psychological condition called where you're romantically in love with your food?
Thank you all. I've fallen a bit behind mostly for RL reasons but this story is taking longer to get through than I thought. Based on the number of rewrites each chapter is experiencing, I've come to believe this is at (or possibly past) the ragged-edge of my skill level as a writer. We will get there, it just may take a bit longer than I first expected.
Bob