FDK: Ficathon - Get The Story! 1/2 - Lois & Clark Fanfic Message Boards

Feedback here, please.

This is great! Witty. Snappy. It reads just like all those early episodes with the really fun banter. Those were the eps that made me a fan of the show. It's such a treat to have a story that captures the pace and atmosphere that the Levines brought to the show.

Great to see this posted, Iolanthe! BR'ing it was fun.

The Lucy babble was hilarious. She really is Lois' little sister

You also gave us a nice look at how Lois lives her day, starting with the mental-armor-speech. It shows really well how the Mad-Dog-act is only a tough exterior, easily shattered if the wrong (right?) guy comes along.

Liked how have Lois worrying about Clark stealing her story. After all, we all know what's about to happen in Neverending Battle.

Laughed at the Lois/Cat bickering

And now we have Lucy in the news business, too. Should be fun

Michael

IolantheAlias - This was great. It has the Lois/Clark banter I love so much from the early episodes, plus I'm a sucker for stories where Lois is jealous of someone paying attention to Clark, but doesn't realize yet why she cares.

This was fun, but I have to admit that I have no idea where you are headed.

It almost seems like you are laying the groundwork for a Clark - Lucy relationship. At least, that thought crossed my mind as I read through.

I did enjoy the re-spin of the scene with the sketch artist and the new spin on the Cat vs. Lois verbal exchanges.

I'm looking forward to the rest.

Bob

I'm curious to see where this ends up. Seeing as how Lucy is the new element, I'm wondering how she changes the outcome from what we know from the show.

Don't keep us waiting too long for part 2.

Thanks for the feedback!

Sue: Yep, I'm trying to do the banter. It's harder than it looks. The lines about "I found him / actually, he found you" are not mine, but taken from the script. (darn!)

Michael: You know where this is going! But thanks for commenting anyway.

anonpip: Yeah, me too....Lois doesn't realize yet that she's attracted to Clark, but the attraction is there, down deep.

Bob: Don't worry, all will be made clear in future postings.

Happy: I just posted Part 2! So you can find out more about what Lucy is doing!

Loved it, Iolanthe!

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So by quitting time, Lois Lane was definitely exhausted and ready to leave. Then, of course, she’d been forced to stay later, kept there by the persnickety legal team, making sure her allegations were water-tight. She’d been exasperated. Couldn’t they have done their job earlier? It wasn’t like they hadn’t had three hours, for cripes sake! She’d drowsed off in her cab, and the cabbie had actually had to shake her awake at her destination. She’d barely been able to brush her teeth and strip her clothing before she fell limply into bed.

I’ve been that tired. No fun.

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Lois smiled. She’d been lucky to have Perry as her editor. As a rookie, he’d mentored her, led her, taught her that nothing less than the best was acceptable. And now, faced with the greatest story of the century, there was no way he would let the Daily Planet have coverage that was lacking.

Perry is a great editor.

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Although, when she’d been working on the shuttle sabotage story, Clark had dropped a few comments that made her think that he’d gotten some face time with Superman too.

You don’t know the half of it, Lois.

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Although Lois couldn’t deny that the thought of taking a “test drive” with Superman sent a frisson of excitement through her too.

Lois and just about every other female on the planet would like that opportunity.

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“I did. LNN NewsTime. Two blocks away. I’ve got half an hour to get there.”

So Lucy is also a journalist?

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Jimmy just stared at Lucy for a moment,

I see a romance in the future.

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“You should know all about being older,” Lois said venomously.

Good one, Lois.

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“Perhaps Lucy would be interested to know that you covered Rudolph Valentino’s funeral.” Lois knew she was failing miserably at the verbal swordplay. Cat was scoring all the points.

Lucy fell for it. “Really?”

LOL - for Lois saying it as a dig to Cat and for Lucy believing it!

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He was staring at Lucy like she was a canteen of water and he was lost in the desert.

Wonderful imagery.

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Lois stared in disbelief. Her sister actually had her hand on Clark’s lapel as she gazed soulfully into his eyes.

Lois is jealous. Lois is jealous.

Don't forget to post what Lois Lane Fan requested for her story. BUT, knowing what I know, I can definitely see why you'd want to wait till the last part is posted.

I like how you're writing Lois to be a nice person who just belatedly realizes what she didn't get the opportunity to say. Opportunities to say things like "Thank you" and "Good luck" pass her by before she has the chance to say them.

Elisabeth

Thank you so much for a job well done on this story. It's really nice to see how you've managed to take a few random ideas I had and flesh out the story into something very interesting.

Just to show you how great of a job you've done with this, I'll let you know that even though I know where this is going since it was my request, I'm still glued to my seat waiting to see where you're going with this. So, good job at keeping the suspense going despite the fact that I obviously know where the story's going.

I enjoyed how you really got inside Lois' head. It's always fun for me to see what others think Lois and other characters are thinking during certain scenes that happened on the show.

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“More mature?” Cat sniped. “Hard-boiled? Older-looking? As tough as a fifty-cent steak?”

This is a great line. I can really see Cat saying something like that on the show.

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“Perhaps Lucy would be interested to know that you covered Rudolph Valentino’s funeral.”

This is another good line. You really have the Lois/Cat relationship down perfectly.

The best part was that Lucy actually believed Lois.