Lois & Clark Forums
Posted By: AnnieM FDK: Playing to Win 3/8 - 05/03/03 01:36 PM
First of all, note that I've changed the expected number of posts. Given the way I'm posting, it's looking more like 8 parts than 7. I didn't realize how much stuff I had added.

So, what do you think? Some rewriting in this part, and I've flipped the order so this comes first, changing the tone of the story a bit. I think it works better this way. What do you think?

Annie
Posted By: Laurach Re: FDK: Playing to Win 3/8 - 05/03/03 01:52 PM
WOw You Go Clark! Good for him. I hate Paul. He deserves castration<g> Anyway great job Annie. I can't wait for them to get back to the room. Laura
Posted By: NearlyNoelNeill Re: FDK: Playing to Win 3/8 - 05/03/03 04:07 PM
Excellent additions! And the switch works wonderfully. Keep posting. I'm hooked. thumbsup

Best,
Sherry
Posted By: Shadow Re: FDK: Playing to Win 3/8 - 05/03/03 06:08 PM
Yay
more!
more!
laugh
Posted By: mariadferdez. Re: FDK: Playing to Win 3/8 - 05/03/03 07:31 PM
Hi,

Great part. smile1
Posted By: merry Re: FDK: Playing to Win 3/8 - 05/03/03 08:31 PM
Annie,
great job
I love this and hate Paul
merry
Posted By: YellowDartVader Re: FDK: Playing to Win 3/8 - 05/03/03 09:21 PM
Annie,

Wow! I love this story smile1 The tension between Lois and Clark, the fact that they both like each other, but they each don't know about the other, seeing each other in nothing but towels /me sighs. It's just wonderful! I can't wait for the next part (now that I finally caught up)!

- Alicia smile
Posted By: TriciaW Re: FDK: Playing to Win 3/8 - 05/04/03 01:08 AM
Annie

WOW! This is great. thumbsup thumbsup

Changing the order works really well. clap
And I love the additions. smile

I'm thoroughly enjoying reading this again and look forward to the next part.

Tricia cool
Posted By: KathyM Re: FDK: Playing to Win 3/8 - 05/04/03 08:36 AM
Annie, I still love this. And I too think that moving the dinner scene up worked well. Now I think it's time to slap the waitress and do something more painful to Paul.

I'm looking forward to more. smile

Kathy
Posted By: ChiefPam Re: FDK: Playing to Win 3/8 - 05/04/03 12:23 PM
There was a switch? <g> This worked great, as far as I could tell. Now they just have to get Clark's things over into Lois's room before Paul recovers from being so competently threatened <g>

I'm having a fun time catching up, but it's a little confusing, too... I can't find part 4! goofy Gimme!

PJ
Posted By: AnnieM Re: FDK: Playing to Win 3/8 - 05/04/03 04:47 PM
Hooray, everyone likes the switch! I'm glad you're all enjoying this so far.

Everyone seems to hate Paul, but I think Laura put it best:

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I hate Paul. He deserves castration<g>
Yes, indeed he does.

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A lot of journalist in that convention, and nobody comment about their relation of the bad conduct of Paul.
*sigh* well, unfortunately, this is rather realistic. Contrary to what we'd all like to believe given Clark as a role model, journalists are not exactly pillars of morality. So, while I'm sure they are talking about Paul behind his back, no one is going to step up and stop him. I mentioned earlier that Paul is based on a compilation of men I've met in my life. All of them are journalists. Journalists tend not to call out one of their own, even if they appalled. I think part of it is the image we have of ourselves as rogues. As much as we disapprove, there is this feeling that we can get away with anything. And another part is the general human tendency not to get involved.

In a particularly horrifying example, the model for the younger version of Paul who we met in PtP stood up last week in front of 150 friends and colleagues - completely hammered and drinking directly from a bottle of wine - and began shredding the reputations of all the girls he's been with in the past two years. The girls were in the room listening as he made lewd comments about their relationshps and their sexual histories. The audience sat in horrified silence as he congratulated himself on a great speech, then stumbled off into a corner where he passed out in his own vomit. Trust me, as horrifying as Paul seems to y'all, he's real.

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How did Clark took his clothes out of the room with a drunk man an d woman inside?
Hmm, I thought that enough time had passed that he could get in there and get his clothes while they were gone. But maybe I need to go back and check that. Thanks for pointing it out.

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I'm having a fun time catching up, but it's a little confusing, too... I can't find part 4! Gimme!
LOL. Ask and ye shall receive. Coming right up.

Thanks again everyone,
Annie
Posted By: HatMan Re: FDK: Playing to Win 3/8 - 05/04/03 07:00 PM
yeesh. what a story, annie. i'm just glad that guys like that are in the minority. at least, they are in my experience...

really cool to see clark sticking up for lois. spine is good. smile too bad she doesn't realize (yet) how much he means it.

one thing...
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“We’ll be fine. And if you want to leave, just kick me. I’ll think of an excuse.”

Lois grinned up at him. “Thanks. Don’t be surprised if I take you up on that.”
wow. lois would trust clark to come up with a good excuse? laugh

anyway, great part. smile looking forward to part 4, when i get to it...

Paul, still studiously ignoring the comments about this guy with the weird name...
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