Lois & Clark Forums
Posted By: bobbart FDK: Distance (1/5) - 10/15/09 07:39 PM
Opinions?

Lois is very upset! mad

BTW: "100 Meters" was never supposed to have a sequel. I sort of found this on the floor after my recent Mugging a Muse incident that produced "Encountering Talent."

Bob
Posted By: IolantheAlias Re: FDK: Distance (1/5) - 10/15/09 08:01 PM
Very enjoyable! But you left it on a cliffhanger....
Posted By: Artemis Re: FDK: Distance (1/5) - 10/15/09 08:20 PM
rotflol
Quote
Mugging a Muse
Is that anyway to treat your delivery guy?
Anyway, that's very good. I'm glad you are continuing this.
More soon.
cool
Artemis
Posted By: HappyGirl Re: FDK: Distance (1/5) - 10/15/09 11:26 PM
Great start, Bob, but too short! Are you sure you couldn't post this in, say, two parts? :p

Now we know why there was a recent discussion about curse words in folcdom. evil

Get back here and put these two poor miserable wretches out of their misery. No, not that way!

wildguy wildguy wildguy
Posted By: robinson Re: FDK: Distance (1/5) - 10/16/09 08:32 AM
I could feel her anger coming off the story in waves. Although it would have been nice to see a more forceful Clark but he did see and felt she would not hear him between her anger and grief.

More soon, please.

Kathy
www.chili-everyway.com
Posted By: Darth Michael Re: FDK: Distance (1/5) - 10/16/09 01:47 PM
Um, I do have a complaint here: Too short wildguy

Bob, you know, I sort of expected Superman to just do the spin-thing and sit down on Lois' couch while she was not looking. That would be a surprise laugh

Mugging a Muse.. tsk... tsk... tsk...

Michael
Posted By: bobbart Re: FDK: Distance (1/5) - 10/16/09 07:47 PM
Hello, everyone.

Yes, this was a very short part. Right about the time that the idea for “Encountering Talent” showed up, this blindsided me. Back when I finished 100 Meters, I had no idea at all what was going to happen when Clark entered that window. A few weeks ago this (part 1) appeared with a Catch-22. Now I knew what happened, but the nature of the answer was that it did me no good without the rest of the story. That’s why I referred to this as having been “found on the floor.” Until I had something else, I couldn’t do anything with this part.

This is the smallest of the five parts that will make up Distance. The divisions and the posting approach are so that a reader has the opportunity to experience the story in a manner similar to the way the story developed for me. The story really isn’t long enough to justify being split into five parts, but that is the way it was created and I wanted to offer that part of the experience.

Iolan:
Cliffhanger endings. Yes, well, about that...

Artemis:
My muse is surprisingly tolerant. At least so far...

HG:
Language… Yes, this language was there when part 1 arrived. I guess it’s not that strong but in the context of the scene, it carried more edge than I am normally used to seeing. (It’s certainly stronger than I normally write.)

Kathy:
The anger showed up in 100 Meters. The epiphany that led to this continuation was that once the anger appeared there was no immediate “happy path" for when Superman entered her apartment. I’ve seen this in RL where grief will turn to rage for no better reason than a perfect set of wrong conditions. Lois knows that Superman didn’t “let Clark die.” The grief has simply found an outlet via rage. The interesting question is, what will *that* lead to? As for a more forceful Clark… Well, (in my opinion) he’s not that forceful to begin with and tonight he’s in as much a state of shock as Lois. What force of will he had left, he used up closing that distance to enter her apartment.

Michael:
It might have been interesting if Clark was a bit more forceful. However, this was a meeting between angry Lois and confused (but determined) Clark.

And finally, I’ll admit to being a bit over-cute with this section. 100 Meters closes with:
Quote
I hope she’ll let me say three words. If she’ll listen for that long, we have a chance.
The point being that there is no happy path. Therefore, Clark never got to say three words.

At least not yet! :p


Thanks all. The next part will be up soon.

Bob
Posted By: Vicki Re: FDK: Distance (1/5) - 10/17/09 05:37 AM
Ooooh, a sequel to "100 Meters"! My first thought was, what an unexpected and pleasant surprise. But, yikes! "Pleasant" doesn't really describe this first chapter, does it? Lois's use of anger as an expression of her grief is perfectly believable. Poor Clark. Dying a second death. mecry

I'm glad to know your muse didn't just leave you (and us) here for long!

Off to read chapter 2, and see what happens next....
Posted By: Female Hawk Re: FDK: Distance (1/5) - 11/04/09 05:08 AM
Bob

Great start.

Lois angry at Superman and mourning Clark.
clap
Nice switch.

Corrina.
© Lois & Clark Fanfic Message Boards