Good? Bad? Ugly? I meant well, anyway.

Bob

I really liked this story. She got visions of Clark flying and didn't even know she met Superman.

Hi,

This was a sweet, very plausible and cleverly written story.

I really liked Flo and would be interested to see if she followed up on checking out her 'vision'.

Yours Jenni

Very good. It's nice to see our favorite couple from an outsider's viewpoint every once in a while. And I like the ambiguous time frame here, too. We have no clue as to whether Lois knows "the secret" or not, except for Lois' "short dark hair" which could mean shoulder-length or Tank-style short. We don't know how far along they are in their relationship. And we don't know what Lois had in her purse to knock down a mugger. (Maybe a brick?)

Very nice story, Bob. You and your muse are to be commended. And I suggest a light snack for said muse the next time he comes calling.

Bob, your muse is male? The nine Greek muses were all female. Both of mine are female. The muses working with other writers on these boards whose gender has been identified are all female, at least to my knowledge. Is yours from Schenectady? Or maybe San Francisco?

Well done, Bob. Very creative. And I agree with Terry; it's nice to see Lois and Clark from an outstider's perspective every once in a while.

Did you intentionally name your old coupld after Bill Henderson, or was that subconscious?

Very nice; thank your muse for coughing it up, even if it was under duress.

I enjoyed the POV of a totally new character. And, of course, I also enjoyed being the omniscient reader who knows that Flo really *did* encounter Superman. (Tee-hee!)

Hi everyone,

I’m glad it seemed to please. When I saw LabRat’s call for stories I got to thinking that I hadn’t written a short since Lex’s Best Day. I figured there had to be something simmering. I wanted something really short and light. It actually turned out longer than I expected.

Countrygurl:
Thank you. What she saw that she didn’t understand was Superman flying at super speed. (Probably off to rescue Lois. ) I wanted it to be a plausible vision but one that would still be confusing.

Jenni:
I had to fight the temptation to add a lot more background for Flo. She has her talents, but just wants to lead a simple life. I can’t say we won’t see her again, but I don’t see her doing a “Lois Lane” investigation into what she saw.

Terry:
The idea of this being fundamentally someone else’s story, where Lois and Clark are just passing through, was an act of desperation. I just couldn’t find a more traditional story. I’m very happy that it seemed to work as well as it did. As for the ambiguous time frame, I guess the punch line is that I don’t know when the story happens either.

As for my Muse being male, I don’t quite know how that happened. When I think of what I’d pick for a muse, well, I saw the movie Xanadu when I was in college and I always thought Olivia Newton-John was a perfect muse. However, my ideas don’t arrive in a particularly picturesque or exciting way, (so no Olivia or any other distractingly attractive female) so I came to picture my Muse as a UPS driver. (Such as I described in the FDK to 100 Meters Here ) I can have a much more practical interaction than with a beautiful female Muse. Besides, I have The Fabulous Beverly, who not only severs as inspiration, but can help fix my grammar.

HappyGirl:
Thanks. The Henderson name was not a deliberate choice but since you pointed it out, I have to wonder if there wasn’t something subconscious going on. I wonder if Bill has any relatives in Louisiana. Maybe that was part of why Flo wanted to come to Metropolis. Hmmm…

I did thank my Muse profusely. I guess I groveled enough because I even got part of Chapter 24 today.

Iolan:
I am more tickled than I can say that the "Flo perspective" approach seemed interesting. After all the nice words I think she may have to have a future engagement in a more substantive story.

Again, thank you all so much for taking the time to share your thoughts.

Bob

Hi Bob:
That was really cute and I enjoyed it. What wasn't totally clear was that Lois touched Flo after she touched Clark's hand and her knees went weak. It seemed like Clark was holding her up, something he is very good at alone. So the marriage vision wasn't as strong as it could be.
Give your muse a cookie for me.

Artemis

I loved it. And I would love to see Flo again.

Artemis:
I went back and looked again and you're right. It was so obvious to me but I didn't make the action clear. It bothered me so much I just had to fix it. That passage has been modified. Thanks for pointing that out. (Really!)

I didn't have any sweets in the house, but my muse got wine and cheese. It must have worked because I got an unexpected surprise delivery last evening. I may have another short ready before too long.

c-mom:
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it and I wouldn't be surprised if Flo shows up as a supporting character sometime in the future.

Bob

Yep, that's a good fix. The impact of Flo's vision on their marriage will be bigger to the first time reader. Glad I could help!
P.S. We only have sugar free cookies at our house.

Artemis

Liked it a lot.

I liked it.

I've always had a thing for 'voyeur' stories, where we see L&C's relationship through an outsider's eyes, and this one fit the bill nicely. What I'm not wild about are stories where that stranger figures out the secret, so I also really liked that, despite Flo's vision, her feelings were about Lois and Clark, not Superman. The tag line was a great ending. Nicely done!

Artemis:
Sugar free cookies? I thought there were laws in all civilized parts of the world that prohibited those except by orders of a doctor. In our house we rarely have cookies as they tend to disappear within minutes of entering to premises.

Marcus:
Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Kathy:
You have expanded my vocabulary today. I would not have thought to use that word in that way. That's what I get for being a "stay inside the lines" sort of person.

As for Flo figuring out Clark's identity on that one vision, I just don't see it. A set of quick-flash images isn't quite holding up a sign saying "I'm Superman."


Thank you all for the FDK!

Bob