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Wow... I really can't wait to see where you take this... you've set up an amazingly interesting dynamic! And on government loonies... since I assume GGGoH didn't happen, per se, I wonder if Trask is still around as well...

Wow! Oh wow! No, Clark couldn't get over what had happened between him and Lois. Lois couldn't either, of course. She had to give him a chance to come back for more, and he couldn't stop himself from coming back to her. But the thing is, he only wants to make love to her, not talk to her. He wants sex, passion, the release of tension and strong feelings, not the slow building of friendship, understanding and love.

It is so sad. It is so gripping. And I so wonder how it will end.

Ann

Okay... Well, I'm still here and I'm enjoying the trip but you have me utterly and totally confused. I have no idea what Clark is thinking. I just can't get a feel for his motivation at this point. This part: REALLY leaves me

EDIT/ADDED LATER

Don't get me wrong. I am enjoying the story. I guess that I'm struggling with his coming to Lois at all when he says something like that. I just don't feel like I have any idea what thoughts are going on behind these action and words.

Bob

Oh how can you leave us all teased like this! Please let us see some nfic in this or we will have no clue what actually having "sex" or "making love" is for them. How is it? Rough? Cold? Hot and out of control? Warm and sweet sorrow? What? I want the act so I can know why and how and what it means for them. Anyway you have me hooked of course. laura

This is such powerful stuff. They're both so confused and hurt and angry (at themselves and each other) and yet can't help but be drawn to each other, the 'just sex' makes the hurt go away, if only temporarily.

I love that this is in the first person, I think through Lois' observations we get a sense of some of what Clark is feeling, but more so, I think what he's going through is really a distorted reflection of what Lois is doing to herself. He hates her but he doesn't and he hates himself for not being able to just hate her, which leaves his own confusion, doubts and demons to eat away at him.

Really they seem to be seeking comfort from each other and trying to forget themselves at the same time.

I think trying to explain it all for both of them would take away from the story somewhat, we have to learn about Clark through Lois and that seems to be right for the tone of writing.

On a separate note, I'm glad Perry was able to give Clark some forewarning before the exposure story ran, it seems as if Jonathon and Martha were afforded some protection from the fall out. Although, given Clark's demeanour when the subject came up in part 3, I'm sure there's more story to be told...

This is such a powerfully, gripping tale so far, please don't make us wait too long for the next part

OMG, I didn't see that coming. He's addicted to Lois and can't help himself. And neither can she. Lois has already stated how impossible a personal life would be for Clark's girlfriend, yet she is setting herself up for just that.
More soon and start planning an nfic version!

Artemis

I'm only online for a couple of minutes, but thanks for the comments, guys!

As a couple of you seem to want to read the nfic, and as it's mostly written just hidden a couple of drafts away, I'm gonna post the n versions of parts three and four. Just... don't expect too much, OK?

Whoops! Was going to leave a long FDK - but I've got to run over to the nfic folder!

Good so far.

More after reading the smut.

You don't have to write the explicit stuff. What you have is powerful enough as it is.

I'm confused by Clark also. I think, after reading other people's feedback on the previous chapter, that Clark wants this to be only about sex, but it isn't, and he's completely unwilling to admit it. Not unless he's become completely besotted by Lois already. I wonder how many times he passed by her window and saw it unlocked before he actually came in? He's acting like an idiot where Lois is concerned. He's got to know that every night with her under these circumstances will scar both of them.

How long will Lois allow herself to be used in this way? If she's letting Clark have her to assuage her own guilt, she's operating under false pretenses just like he is. If this isn't about love on some level, is it just physical? If it is, it will burn itself out soon, and one of them will still have some fuel left. And won't that be an ugly confrontation?

I suspect that Lois will be the first one to call a halt to the midnight rendezvous. I think she'll realize that what's happening is bad for her and bad for Clark, and she'll either lock the window or leave it open one last time and tell him he has to leave forever. She can't keep trying to make up for "outing" him with her body, and he can't keep using her as a living blow-up sex doll.

And now Mayson is in the picture. Will she come to accept Superman's role as a legal vigilante? Will she get whacked by Intergang? Is Clark playing the same kind of midnight games with her? I think not, but as much pressure as is on him and as much as he's had taken away from him, it's possible.

And it's also possible that he's using sex with Lois as a way to get even with her. There's almost no way he could have planned for this to happen, but maybe he just suddenly found himself in a position (horizontal) to take something important from her (self-respect and independence) the same way she took something important from him (his private life). Normally I wouldn't suspect Clark of being that petty and vengeful, but I don't recall seeing him this hurt and cut off from people before.

Still a good story, Alicia. Keep it up! Post again soon, okay?

Just read parts 3 and 4... wow... I left some comments on the nfic side.. and I really love this story,,.can't wait to see where it goes.

I don't think I like Masyon much... It seems to me she is unwilling to accept Clark/Superman as he is. She wants him to live as she deems right. It's amazing how her notions on Superman remain unchanged, yet she wants to have a friendship / relationship with Clark... even after the revelation... I had never thought of it this way.. wow!

I might be wrong but I think his wonder at their first time and his constant struggle to keep in check his instinctive touches point toward Lois being his first as well as his only.


How far is Lois willing to be used as a way of assuaging her guilt and regret? How long will Clark continue this affair before his actions catch up with him?

This show of Clark's 'love' (er, lust) for Lois without the trust, respect and all the other things is bound to hurt two lonely people even more.


Okay, here's what I think. I might be completely off base here, but maybe:

Clark despite everything can't bring himself to settle his feelings for Lois. He is very very ambiguous about her... a side which is curt, angry, sort of mean to her... and a side which lives in might-have-beens and dreams of kissing her, etc. Meanwhile, Lois is all too understanding, and is in such a submissive mode that Clark might feel guilty for hating her, yet he wants to hate her... so... here's an idea... Unconsciously, he is doing something geared towards making Lois actively hate him so that she can help him hate her...

Wow - this is an amazing story. It's so well done that it almost hurts to read it. I'm intrigued about how things will go and can't wait for more.

I especially liked the conversation between Lois and Mayson. The characterizations were well done - I could really visualize them, their body language and the tone of voice. This part was particularly telling:
So maybe it's Clark that is keeping them apart, not because of how Mayson feels about Superman, but because of how he still feels about Lois.

I'm sure that's what is running through Clark's mind too - that he's a masochist for wanting more of Lois Lane.

I do think it's interesting that Clark cut Lois off when she started talking about her investigation of Intergang. I know she was floundering for something to say to him, and instinctively she's began talking to him like he's still her partner. Unfortunately, this only highlights to Clark the life he no longer has. Ouchie.

Here's to hoping it gets better soon (meaning the ouchie, not the story. The story is fantastic).
BJ

Wow!
Clark is still drawn to Lois even after all he's been through and Lois feels something for him too.
It is so sad that they have nearly no chance to solve their problem.
I wonder if they finaly can work something out.

I think that Clark knows that he is going against what he feels in his heart and what he knows about what Lois is probably feeling, but I think that his intention is to use her to the point of breaking her and then calling it even. I still believe that something is going to come of this that will bring them both to their senses; Lois calling a halt to this while trying to prevent an emotional breakdown and I still believe that she is probably pregnant. I think that her isolating herself and a possible Kent child from Clark will bring him to his senses. I understand why Clark is angry with Lois but I do not like this Clark!

Anyway, great work! Why don't you just poset what you've written, since you've essentially finished it?

~sheila

I was prepared to defend Clark's behavior when I read Ch. 4 on the gfic boards. I think he just couldn't bear the pretense that they could have a normal conversation - they both knew why Lois left her window open, and they both knew why he entered it. I've been assuming this was in canon before the bomb dropped, so Clark was already in love with Lois when she betrayed him. Beyond that, they're soulmates - they can't escape each other even if they want to, and even if Lois' actions keep them from ever being together in this incarnation. That said, after reading the nfic version of this story I'm a bit more ambivalent. Their first time just happened. This time, Clark seems to be actively trying to punish Lois for his own inability to resist her invitation by treating her like a prostitute. I know he's bitter and angry, but really, what was he really thinking taking a job at the Daily Planet surrounded by the best investigative journalists in the country? And while I love Clark, if a flying alien really showed up and started performing super feats, I'd be with Mason in wanting him outed. I really hope you can resolve the damage they've done to themselves and each other, but other than time travel (which would feel like a cheat in this brutally angsty story), I don't see a way that they can ever be together. Thanks for a compelling story.

This story is amazing and full of such complex feelings. I believe Clark fell in love with Lois at first sight just as in canon. She then betrayed him and he is angry and sad and ambivalent. I think he calls it sex with her to protect himself but I believe he made love to her. I also believe he came back because he can't stay away. There is a soulmate connection between them and even though they are trying to deny it it is powerful. I do not see a vengeful Clark in this story. I see a Clark who has erected barriers around his heart and he is trying very hard t protect himself

Hi Alisha,

I've finally caught up with this story since I got my laptop back from the repair shop.

I am enjoying it ... if enjoying is the right word to use. I feel very sad for my favourite couple. You really have written them into a very difficult situation.

Having only read the gfic version, I am still prepared to forgive Clark for his behaviour, after all, Lois betrayed him first. I can understand his actions, at the moment, though I would hate to see him continue on this very hurtful path.

Somehow, I think the Clark of the show would come to his senses before too long and put an end to this disastrous non-relationship he has with Lois.

I will, however, be waiting, eagerly, to see where you are going to take us. I hope that Lois and Clark don't go past the point of no return for re-establishing their future together.

Yours Jenni

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Somehow, I doubt this latest move will help their relationship. When's more coming?

These two are taking what they can get: revenge/guilt/pity sex although not such a good thing is better than nothing.They *are* communicating , sort of.Looks like they have a long row to hoe.

First of all, I think I need to say how overwhelmed I am to the continued response to this story! I never expected to get more than a couple of comments, especially now with the Kerths coming up.

As for the ideas and theories people have suggested (but may not necessarily think are true), all I will say is that some have been right, some are things I never thought of, and some are wrong but I can see how people came up with the idea.

For any that are struggling to understand Clark, all I will say is that this is written from Lois’ sometimes very warped point-of-view. There are, I think, a couple of scenes coming up, where what Lois perceives as Clark’s thoughts/motivations etc is way off, but as is the nature of how this story is being told, that is all the information given*. I hereby give every reader a free pinch of salt with which to read this fic!

And, before I run off again, I’ll just mention that part 5 should be up this weekend.

- Alisha

*small print: Number of scenes may be less or more than stated and the statement may apply to other characters as well. Alisha’s memory is not as exact as she would like and she cannot be held accountable for any mistakes it may make.

No, I can't hate this Clark. I think he is overwhelmed by his feelings. After all, he *was* looking out for her the whole year before she finally called for help, he just never rescued her before. Now she rescued him from the Kryptonite.
Keep it coming!

Artemis