That was fantastic! I found myself alternatively groaning, giggling and guffawing at this brilliant tragicomic farce of identity for two players in five roles!!!
“You really have only yourself to blame,” stated Martha Kent. Clark slouched dejectedly in a sturdy kitchen chair in the Kent's kitchen, a plate of untouched cookies in front of him. Normally, Martha would scold Clark to watch his posture, but he was in such a glum mood she decided to let that go and focus on the matter at hand.
I can see Martha scold Clark for slouching!
Shrugging, she asked, “Does the suit come off?” Lois hurried on as his eyebrows rose instantly to his hairline. “Not that, Kal! Keep your shirt – no, your suit, I guess, keep your suit on.
Now she was dating the most famous man in the world, a man who was more powerful than a locomotive, faster than a speeding bullet. A man who could do anything he could imagine, anything at all. But a man so noble he chose not to use those incredible abilities for personal gain, but instead to help where and when he could. She sighed. And Superman, this amazing man, would soon take time off from asteroid-crunching, bullet-catching and criminal-capturing to take her out for some great Chinese.
And what a
super-brilliant description of Superman, seen through Lois's eyes!
Clark had seen Lois in a leather outfit that Cat Grant would find scandalous, worn for undercover work in the worst parts of town. Lois, dirty and soiled in some daring escape from a master criminal's lair, soaked with mud and reeking of sewage? That was almost a weekly event for Lois. Wearing a nun's habit, investigating theft from a church offering plate? Sure. This was Lois, after all. But Lois Lane wearing sweats and curlers in her hair? Clark looked with a quizzical raise of his eyebrows toward the Chief, who had seen the flash that was Lois come and go.
“Clark, that girl can grab hold of a story and not let go until it sits up, begs, and then writes itself for her. Sure as I can yodel better than any newspaperman east of the Pacific, I know she's out pounding the streets for any information about the Cat.”
And what a description of Lois as seen through Clark's (and Perry's) eyes!!!
The Cat rose up and faced Lois. He said nothing. She started to activate her voice recorder but with a sudden insight and speed like a panther herself, Lois grabbed out and pulled the mask from his face.
“Clark?! What do you think you're doing? What are you doing in this stupid costume? And how can you even see without your glasses?”
Oh no!!!! Oh no!!!! Oh no!!!! Clark Kent's face works like a 'de-charmer' for Lois! All the magic and wonder goes out of the world when she sees it, because Clark is only Clark after all!!!!
His plan to create a second secret identity and allow Lois to discover it so she would fall in love with heroic Clark hadn't worked at all! He'd thought it was the crime fighting Lois liked. He'd been sure it was the crime fighting. Fight crime, interest Lois, reveal himself, somehow work Superman out of his life, or at least out of Lois', and things would be great.
Oh no, oh no, oh no....
Hmmm. Maybe for Lois it was the colorful costume? She'd said the black was stupid. Perhaps he should go with that crazy green and yellow suit his Mom made before the final choice of red, blue and yellow. Sure! He'd stop by to visit Lois as Superman, then fly out to Kansas for a family visit as Clark Kent and while there pick up the wildly-colored costume. Then he would begin his third superhero career as the mighty… Spark.
Oh no!!!!
This time Clark would pick his name as a crime fighter, not let someone else decide who he would be. That decision would be his and his alone, so sooner or later Lois would see Clark for who he really was.
Whoever that turned out to be.
Exactly!!!!
Wow!!!! What an amazing fic!!! A linguistic fireworks show and a Chaplinesque, tragically comical funny mirror where we can watch the full absurdity of the basic premise of LnC unfold before our eyes!
And for no particular reason, I thought this image might be an at least somewhat appropriate illustration of the identity-craziness of this fic:
Ann