Feedback here.

Thanks!

Not much time...

But the sequel comes when?!?!

Loved how you wrapped it up and would love to see the relationship between these two grow.

Carol

Wow. What an ending. It was great, but it left a lot of loose ends. First of all, I wonder about Franklin Hodge. What was he up to really? He had to know that Clark was an alien. Why did he protect his secret? So that the government would have some leverage over Clark and his parents? Or to make sure that people didn't panic over an 'alien'? To prevent rioting and horrible scenes in Smallville as people flocked there to see or threaten the alien monster and his adoptive parents?

Lois must have realized that Clark Kent really was an alien, and that Jonathan Kent was lying to her with his story about Chrissie. She must have realized that Franklin Hodge knew that Clark was an alien, and that his primary concern was to protect Clark's secret (maybe for ulterior motives). But Lois never seemed to consider the implications of this. Of course, this Lois doesn't know that Clark has superpowers just because he is an alien. To her, Clark's alienness just means that he is different in a way that doesn't matter to her anyway, in the same way that she has never been turned off by Superman's 'alienness'.

But maybe she does realize that Clark has a few secrets that he hasn't shared with her? That croissant... and newspapers you aren't likely to find in Smallville.

The ending was so sad. Lois leaves Smallville, and Clark stays. Or doesn't he? Will Perry like his resume and hire him? Maybe he should go to Metropolis anyway and chase down a story to convince Perry to hire him.

Like I said, the ending was so bittersweet somehow. I would have loved to have been given a happy ending, but I guess this is the kind of story where the reader has to come up with the happy ending in his or her head.

Thanks for a wonderful story!

Ann

Hey great little story, I hope you continue with a part 2. Laura

Thanks for the extensive feedback, Ann.



Why? She's seen no superpowers (not just from Superman/Clark, but from anyone). At this stage she doesn't know men in blue tights can fly!

She meets a country reporter, and a day later, two scientists (whom she never got to talk to) are claiming (through Nunk, of all people) that said country reporter is an alien, based solely on the flimsy evidence of an easily explained photograph.

Yes - the photograph shocked her, but when Jonathan gives her an (admittedly stretched, but possibly plausible) explanation, the balance of probabilities are heavily in favour of the Sewells having made up their story in the hope of some quick cash.

In this pre-Superman world, aliens are still a yet-to-be-proven entity.




That's our Lois!




It never occured to me that the ending was sad!!

In some ways, this story is more about Lois's relationship with the Kent Family, than just her relationship with Clark.

Not having a closeness with her family - what she sees in them is just soooo attractive.

The family prevails! Sure Lois doesn't know the whole story, but she does know the family was threatened, and by working together, found a solution. She was even a part of the solution - they included her and accepted her - intoxicating stuff for a girl whose own family was never anything like this.


Thanks again - I really appreciate your thoughts. You've made me wonder how I could have more effectively got these themes across.

What, Female Hawk??? Lois doesn't realize that Clark is an alien?

But the Sewells had this evidence that an alien had landed in Smallville, and that Clark Kent was this alien. Franklin Hodge came to Smallville to talk to them, and Lois witness him shoot them with an advanced weapon? Now he has taken them away, perhaps never to be seen again? He tried to shoot her with the same weapon, because she had overheard his conversation with them? Later he tried to kill her by having a truck run over her? He demands that she give him a film that shores up the Sewells' story, and in return he will give her 'evidence' that Clark Kent is not an alien? Really, if the Sewells' story was just another sensationalist UFO story, like the ones which claim that an Elvis statue has been found on Mars or that a woman in Minnesota had her alien lover's baby, why bother going to such extreme lengths to kill the story?

If Lois doesn't understand that the Sewells' story must be true, or that it at least touches on some extremely sensitive secret, then she is so extremely stupid that the owners of the Daily Planet should sue Perry White for hiring her!!!

Ann

Female Hawk - I enjoyed that!!

I was upset over two failed attempts at uploading pictures to get them printed. I wasted a lot of time & I became upset...oh so very upset. After reading part three I am cool as a cuecumber. Also calm enough now to realize Kodak has easier downloading options. SO thank you.

Yes! Lois is awesome!

Though, at one point for some reason, I though Lois knew. Then at the end I realize she didn't. I can't believe it. I guess they really fooled her. It just seemed like there was too much info in favour of a cover up.

They 'said' they had evidence. Lois saw none of it.

When Clark asked her if she believed their story, she said she believed they were blackmailing the government - she'd witnessed that herself.



They were attempting to blackmail the government. Hodge's job was to deal with the blackmail attempt.



The film didn't shore up the story. The film proved they had met with Hodge and that he had had them removed.

The film implicated Hodge. That was why he had to destroy it.

He didn't care if Lois printed the blackmail story, or even if she printed the alien story. He told her 'Go ahead, print your story. It can't hurt me or anyone I protect.'

But the photos could hurt him - so they had to be stopped.



He didn't try to kill their story - he dealt with their attempt to blackmail the government (by having them removed). Only after he knew Lois had photos involving him, did he become desperate. He's the 'Invisible Aide.'

I tried to write Hodge as actually having a conscience - of sorts. He was perturbed when Lois said he was evil. He tried to explain to her - he just did what was needed to be done.

His first two attempts to destroy the film hadn't worked, (thanks to some 'Super' intervention). He already had plans in place to ensure the photos were never published. When Lois offered him a non-violent way to get the film, he took it.

She saw no evidence the story was true - no space ship, no strand of hair, nothing. In her mind, the sensitive secret was that a couple of scientists thought they could wrangle a million dollars with an unsubstantiated story.

Maybe that makes her extremely stupid, but reporting the claims of 2 possibly deranged scientists as truth, despite a complete lack of evidence, is much more Nunk's style.

Again, thanks for taking the time to reply.

Wow! What a story!! I sure hope there is a follow up to this fic. I would love to read how Clark and Lois continue their 'thing' in the big city and when Clark finally admits that he has powers.

Thank you for writing this fic, I truly enjoyed it!

What is she, galactically stupid? *Pause while I collapse in a fit of narcissistic giggles over my own joke*

Actually, I'm hereish:

I wondered if she suspected something, but then I thought, no she doesn't know anything. Then I got the feeling she knew Jonathan's story was a little stretched, so maybe she wonders if there's something off about them...but she doesn't know what.

Anyway, nice story! And as always lots of room for a sequel.

JD

I realize I should let this go now, and I sort of apologize for being so tenacious. This will be the last time I'm trying to make my point, I promise!

Yes, Lois believed that the Sewells were trying to blackmail the government. But really, if there was no substance to their claims, what were their bargaining chips? Let's assume somebody in the United States contacted the government and said that they had proof that an alien had landed in Kansas in 1966, and if the government didn't pay them a million dollars, they would make the whole thing public! What would the government do? I'd advise them to reply with a big fat yawn and a recommendation to the 'whistle-blowers' to go ahead and print their evidence. So what if they made their 'proof' public? In real life Superman has not, alas, arrived on the Earth. How can it hurt the government if somebody says that an alien has landed on the Earth, if this claim is completely untrue? Why would the government care about some nutty UFO fanatics? Why would they be prepared to kidnap or kill people to silence these UFO nutcases?

But, Female Hawk, you have to understand one thing about me. I lay claim to the title of the Greatest Lois Defender in the world, although Tank Wilson insists that he is the greatest Lois champion. Anyway, I like Lois so very much, and I don't particularly like her being stupid. So I try to convince and cajole people on these boards to make their Loises a bit smarter. That's why I was just flabbergasted at your suggestion that Lois could fail to understand that there was some absolutely huge cover-up of some sort going on in Smallville. Also, until she had some evidence to the contrary, it would seem like a good bet to assume that Clark Kent was somehow involved in this cover-up. And so far the best lead she had to a cover-up involving Clark Kent was the claim that he was an alien, wasn't it? So maybe she should pay a little more attention to that possibility? Not to print it, no. I love the idea that Lois bonded strongly with the Kent family. She wouldn't throw them to the dogs for an award-winning story. I just love the idea that Lois would be noble, if I may use that word, and keep quiet about a secret that she knew of but couldn't print, because it would hurt the Kent family.

Also, I quite agree that Lois has no reason to suspect that Clark is 'super', only that he is an alien. She has seen nothing to suggest that Clark has super-human abilities. Well, apart from that croissant....

Once again, I really, really liked your story. It definitely shows that you have written stories professionally in your life!

Ann

I quite enjoyed this little tale.
I felt the chemistry between Lois and Clark was starting to spark in the same way it did in Season One of the show.

I was a little unsure about why you made Jonathan lie. Was it because he didn't trust Lois to keep Clarks secret and had images of scientists dissecting Clark like a frog?

I guess we'll have to wait for a sequel to perhaps get more of an insight.

Thanks for sharing!!!

I loved the whole thing! I really enjoyed your portrayal of the early chemistry between Clark and Lois. I especially liked the way she kept trying to doubt him and continually had to revise her opinion upwards.

Now, pleas don’t take this as story bashing, but along the lines with some of the other feedback above, I was absolutely convinced that Lois knew he was an alien and knew Jonathan was lying. For me, this part:
was the clincher. The way Lois makes this request, I was sure that she knew that Jonathan was lying and the Clark was an alien.

For me, I was hoping that Clark would, after the fact, admit his origins to Lois.

Whatever happens, if he does continue this association and particularly, if he decides to become Superman, then he had better tell Lois either *before* he appears in the suit or immediately thereafter. With what she has seen, I believe she will recognize him for who he is instantly in the suit.

Again, I thought this was wonderful and sincerely hope you choose to continue the story. If not, I would love to see whatever else you may come up with.

Bob

I was like: What? You can't be serious! Where is the rest?

Seriously, you can't stop there! There's so much left to be said and done... Clark telling Lois the truth, Clark moving to Metropolis and being hired at the Planet, Lois and Clark admitting their feelings and starting a relationship, the creation of Superman... not necessarily in this order.
Please, continue this story in a sequel. This story is too great to stop at this point.

Andreia

Carol, Laurach, bellarata, Ultra Woman - thanks for your fdk and wonderful encouragement re:sequel.

Superoo - glad the story was able to help you through the day! thanks for posting fdk.

Lisamaree - thanks for fdk. Jonathan lied because he was willing to do 'whatever it took' to keep his family safe. He'd been thinking about this for years - worried something would threaten his son and thereby break his wife's heart.

And all 3 of the Kents had regularly lied/'hidden the facts' - that's how Clark got to whatever age he is without anyone knowing (not only in my story but in just about every Superman story).

Did he trust Lois? - No! He'd known her 2 days, she was a city career girl and a reporter to boot. He didn't know she was going to become the most important person in Clark's life.

Shadow, Bob, SuperRoo - thanks for your fdk.

Regarding Lois - one of the great attractions for me in writing this story was to take Lois back to being naive. Of course she thought she was city-sophisticated, but she knew nothing of clones, time travel, aliens, super powers and 100 other completely weird phenomena she would encounter once Clark walked into her life.

Did she miss some hints - absolutely - but mostly because exactly when she should have been thinking 'uh?' her mind was on Clark (the man). Just before she decides to ask Hodge for the documents, she is thinking how unfair this is to Clark.

Her straight-to-the-point dealing with Hodge grew out of being stung when he said she only thought she had power. She'd seen how he'd dealt with the Sewells and thought she'd show him she could play at the table too.

Re:a sequel - I started it a week or so ago. However it's summer holidays here and the past couple of weeks I've had time to write. This is not a usual occurrence! I can't give any idea when (or even if) the sequel might hit the boards.

A BIG thank you again to everyone who read my story and provided such great, thought-provoking feedback.

I have to agree with TOC. Hodge wouldn't have reacted to the blackmail so violently if there hadn't been some substance to the threat (substance serious enough to warrant his reaction). So Hodge's motive has to be explored.

And although Lois may be naive in terms of the more bizarre possibilities - she has to realize that Hodge's reaction was over the top, given the apparent cause. That in itself should be sending alarms through Lois. Even if she doesn't believe that Clark is an alien, Hodge has a secret probably involving the Kents - a secret deep and dark enough to kill for.

I'm assuming that the unstated is that Lois knows that Clark is an alien but they have an unspoken understanding? Anyway, very nice story. I was hoping for a relationship and for Perry to take this opportunity to invite Clark for the Daily Planet, but then that's what sequels are for!

~Sheila

It came across very clearly, even though it wasn't stated outright, that Lois knew. First, it was in her character to know. She has a way of taking a conglomaration of unrelated facts and intuitively leaping to the truth. She had enough information to do that. Secondly, she acted as if she knew. She wouldn't have given up so much to protect them from a bizarre story in a forgettable tabloid; however, she might have protected them from the unthinkable, that is having a life-altering secret exposed.

If you want to write the story with the assumption that Lois doesn't know then you need to fill in the blanks of her thinking process a lot more. In my opinion, it wouldn't be as strong of a story as it is now.

Perhaps you can write it as if she knows and then, if you write a sequel, have her later reject that knowledge knowing that it is unfathomable that a small-town editor is really an alien who's been walking among us forever.


Elisabeth
who really enjoyed the story. It's just the rejection of the feedback that I don't get.

You know, this part cleared something up that I had earlier explained as LnCverse science: AFAIK it's not possible to predict the likeness of a person from their DNA. But of course, Maybe they made more stuff up than anyone realized. Or maybe Nunk himself made up the photograph and tried to make his story legit with Lois' help

Michael

Definitely with current technology, it's not possible to predict what a person would look like from DNA samples only (although a number of published sci-fi authors have used it in far futures.) However, even if the technology does exist in the LnCverse - it was able to predict what an alien would look like? That in itself should be enough to question the Sewell's claims that the man in the picture was an alien.

No, Hodge had his own reasons for wanting the Sewells out of the way. (I know where I'd take this, but it's Female Hawk's story...) :p

This was a great ending, although it definitely left me wanting more (but maybe that just makes it a better ending?).

I was definitely of the opinion that Lois knew Clark was an alien all the way through, although I can also see your argument that this would be a weird place for her to go - if I were to see some evidence of an alien now it would probably take a lot to convince me it was real and I like to think that I'm not galatically stupid. So, for Lois, this claim is a bit weird. Although, I do agree with others that I would still expect her to question why the government was taking the claim so seriously.

Sequel, please?

I'm with Nancy et al on this one; I thought Lois got the papers to protect him and his family because she knew that Clark was the alien. Regardless, it was a wonderful end to a not-long-enough weekend!

Pretty please, with a cherry on top, write a sequel??? I don't wanna beg, but I will if I have to!

Great story, FH and it definitely needs a sequel. I'm of the opinion Lois doesn't think Clark is an alien. The story was very sweet and basically gentle. You need to keep in the info on why Perry was able to put Lois up at the Kent's. Maybe casing it from Clark's POV would help the disconnect you felt.
"Mom, why is there a strange lady in my bed?"
"Well, Clark, her editor called me up and asked me if we could extend her a little midwest hospitality."

Artemis

Thanks to all for their feedback.

There will be a sequel - but it still needs a lot more work at present.

Artemis - thanks for you idea re Perry. That would work well.

Wow. Loved it. Would be great to see more of this Lois and Clark.

I can't believe I just now found this wonderful story! I loved it, from start to finish! Very nicely written!

Off to post feedback on the sequel...

Editted by me, after posting, because I had inadvertently written a spoiler in my feedback, as I confused parts of this story and its sequel (having read both of them in one sitting)

Oooh! I loved this! I have all the follow-up stories saved in my bookmarks now so I can read them!

I like your writing style, btw. It's all very flow-y.

Great job!