Chapter 5

For Lois to evade Superman for two days was a feat Clark hadn’t anticipated. The morning after he’d revealed his other identity to her, he’d arrived at work and had been informed by a surprised Jimmy that once again Lois had already been in and left on an assignment, an early morning assignment she’d asked for. Clark resorted to leaving a note on her desk as they continued to miss each other throughout the day, but she hadn’t responded, and he’d found his note to her crumpled in the trash. He’d been at the scene of two incidents, both big enough to warrant a media presence, and he’d been surprised to see different Planet reporters at both; neither of them Lois. After work he’d stopped by her house but she hadn’t been home and after waiting a short while, he’d gone home.

This morning, he’d missed the meeting when he’d heard a news report about an imminent disaster in Tennessee. When he’d arrived at the newsroom several hours late and Perry had demanded to know where he had been, he was slightly disheartened to realize Lois hadn’t covered for him as the news of Superman’s rescue was all over the news. He’d fumbled a poor excuse, taken his punishment assignment, and left before Perry became more agitated.

He’d returned to the newsroom with that assignment and a Superman story after he’d helped clean up a chemical spill from an overturned tanker trailer, along with lunch for himself and Lois. As he walked into the foyer of the Daily Planet, he saw Lois exiting the elevator.

“Lois!” he called through the crowd of people.

She did look in his direction, but she didn’t smile or call back to him. However, he was relieved that she didn’t immediately retreat back into the elevator, but walked toward him and the exit of the building.

“Here, I picked up lunch for you,” he said as he offered her the sandwich.

“Thanks, Clark, but I already ate.”

“Oh. Can I buy you a coffee?” he asked as he followed her outside.

“I, uh… I don’t think so. Not right now.”

In the bright midday sun, Clark took a good look at Lois. She didn’t appear to be angry with him and her voice held none of the coldness it had, but she looked exhausted and weary. He wanted to gather her into his arms and tell her he was sorry.

“Please, Lois. Can we talk?”

“No. Not now. I need time.”

He nodded. “That’s ok, but can we talk it through together?”

“Clark, right now I don’t know what to think.”

“That’s ok, me neither. Anytime you need me, just call.”

Lois laughed weakly. “Just shout from the rooftop?”

“Sure. You can shout for me, write a note, email, or call. Whenever you need me…”

She nodded before walking away from him, heading toward the subway station rather than the employee parking lot. He reluctantly returned to the building and headed up to his desk to write up his articles.

****

After a longer than normal patrol, mostly to avoid being alone with his thoughts, Clark returned home, planning on a quick shower and watching the sports highlights before going to bed. As he checked his messages, he scrapped those plans and returned to the skies above the city, flying to the new industrial park still under construction. It wasn’t hard to spot Lois’ Jeep amongst the empty parking lots and he flew down, hiding behind a shipping container to change before approaching her.

“Are you ok?” he asked when she stepped out of the Jeep.

“I’m sorry, it’s late. I started driving and before I knew it I was out here. I stopped at the gas station on the corner and called to let you know where I’d be. If you didn’t show up by eleven I would have gone home.”

He was relieved she wasn’t being pursued, breaking into a warehouse, or chasing down a lead, as while her message hadn’t sounded like she was in trouble, he never knew what to expect.

“It was this or standing on top of my apartment building and yelling for you but I didn’t want to run the risk you’d be halfway around the world and I’d be locked out on the roof for the night,” she said dryly.

He smiled at her attempt at humour. “I’m relieved you’re ok, but why are we here?”

“It is really you, isn’t it? You didn’t take a cab all the way out here?”

“No,” he chuckled. “I got here under my own power.”

There was a pause while they held each other's gaze before Lois looked away. “We need to talk and I thought somewhere we couldn’t be overheard would be ideal.”

He nodded in agreement. “Are you warm enough? We could go anywhere…”

“No,” Lois interrupted. “I can’t do that.”

“Oh.”

“It’s just that… you’re him, and he’s you. I’m not quite over that yet and if the other you flys me away somewhere, I won’t be able to think straight.”

“Ah,” Clark said, feeling a little downhearted. He’d hoped she was beyond her Superman crush after recent events.

“I know what you’re thinking, and it’s not that. I’ll explain, but I need to know something first; that night we kissed, and you ran off, was it because you, what, heard the bomb in Mayson’s car?”

“Yes. I heard it ticking, but not soon enough. By the time I got there, it was too late.”

Lois stopped pacing and stared at him. “It wasn’t too late. Mayson’s alive because you got her out in time.”

“She wouldn’t be injured if I had been there faster.”

“So, you were late to save Mayson because you were with me?”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying,” Clark said, feeling frustrated with Lois’ jumps in thought.

“Is that why you’ve been spending so much time with her lately? Because you feel guilty?” Lois had returned to pacing.

“Yes, a bit.”

“Is that all?”

Clark hesitated and Lois stopped pacing, turning to face him with her arms crossed.

“Clark, this is not the time to keep secrets,” she reminded him. “I can tell you’re still hiding something.”

“I know how Mayson felt about Superman. I was worried what she’d do with the information about who his real identity is.” He watched as Lois absorbed his confession. “She almost died because I wasn’t there to save a friend, and then I was more worried about my own secret than her wellbeing.”

Lois sighed heavily. “Clark, if you hadn’t been with me, where would you have been that night?”

“At the Planet? Home?”

“Could you have been there to rescue Mayson any faster?”

Clark shook his head. “I know this, Lois. I’ve already thought this through.”

“But you’re still feeling guilty about it,” she stated. “Are you still worried that Mayson will reveal your identity?”

“Not anymore.”

“That’s good, isn’t it?”

Now it was Clark’s turn to sigh and he sat down on a concrete barrier. “There’s more to it.”

Lois shrugged. “I’m not going anywhere and there’s no one here to interrupt us,” she said as she sat next to him.

“Mayson was right. About a few things and I’m ashamed of the whole mess. I knew she was attracted to me and it was flattering, but I wasn’t interested. I didn’t put a stop to it because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, which I did anyway. Even when I knew she despised Superman, I still didn’t do anything to discourage her. Part of me thought I could change her opinion about what Superman stands for, but then I was blinded.”

“The weekend away!” Lois exclaimed.

“I didn’t correct anyone because it was a convenient excuse for my absence.”

“Except she told Jimmy and Perry that you stood her up.”

He remembered the disapproving speech Perry had given him, but the damage had been done. “There had been no way to correct the situation without creating a lie about where I’d been, so I took the heat for it and hoped the memories would fade.”

“So how do you do it? Be two people at the same time?”

“It’s not easy,” he admitted. “Thankfully our jobs allow us to be fairly mobile.”

“You’re always calling for help, getting lost, or missing the story,” Lois gasped. “Why didn’t I catch this before?”

“Trust me, Lois. I had a hard time keeping ahead of you. There was more than one time I thought you’d figure it out.”

“But I didn’t,” Lois responded, sounding irritated. “How would you have continued this?” she said as she waved her hand between them. “What if we’d continued to date? When were you planning on telling me?”

“I don’t know,” he stated quietly, hoping to alleviate some of Lois’ building anger. “I hadn’t thought that far ahead.”

Lois stood and began to pace again. “I don’t get it. Why? Why couldn't you tell me? Were you afraid I’d publish it?”

“At first, yes.”

“But now?”

“No,” he blurted loudly before continuing at a normal volume. “No, I trust you.”

“Were you planning on telling me now or did Mayson finding out your identity force your hand?”

He couldn’t answer her, and watched as she frowned in anger at him.

“Great. You weren’t even planning on telling me. I’m just the afterthought.”

“Lois…”

“No, Clark. You’ve been lying to me for over a year. When we first met, I can understand that you wouldn’t share something like this. In the year and a half since then, you’ve claimed to love and trust me, and asked me out more than once, but you can’t tell me who you really are?”

He could hear the anger simmering in her voice and listened to the surroundings, ensuring there was no one to hear what Lois would say if she started to yell at him.

“I’m sorry, Lois, and I can’t say that enough. You’re the first person I’ve ever wanted to tell this secret to, but I couldn’t figure out how without making you upset or mad.”

“And I’m mad?”

“Aren’t you?” he asked, confused by Lois’ question.

“Yes. I am. I wish you could have trusted me but I think I understand why.”

“You do?” Clark stammered, thoroughly perplexed.

“I talked to Mayson,” she admitted quietly.

“What? When?”

“I’d just finished talking to her and was heading out for some air when you ran into me in the lobby.” Lois stopped pacing and stared at him. “Mayson and I will never be friends; she and I have discussed that once before. When you told me she figured your secret out, I wanted to ask her for her version. I was feeling pretty stupid not seeing all the obvious signs and wondered how she felt about finding out the truth. It was an eye opening conversation.”

“What did she say?”

“That’s between her and I. The only thing I will say is that she revealed her opinion about me, telling me it was poor given how I fawned over Superman and treated you so horribly. After the call I needed some time to think because it was a hard thing to hear. I was blaming you, angry at you for not trusting me, for not telling me this incredibly important detail about yourself because it was easier than looking at myself and realizing I never gave you the chance. If anything, you did the honourable thing by not telling me. You could have used that at any time and I would have been yours, but for all the wrong reasons. So to answer your question, I was mad. I was upset and hurt. I’m still all of the above but I share some of the blame and I’m sorry, Clark.”

Clark tried not to gape at her in shock and amazement. He’d expected more anger from her and had anticipated the need to apologize for weeks.

They sat in companionable silence for several minutes, until Lois spoke.

“I should be heading home.”

“Another early morning assignment?”

“Yes,” she said, shaking her head. “I signed up for two assignments at the crack of dawn and Perry thought I wanted a week's worth. I have one more tomorrow and then I was hoping I could find something more urgent to work on.”

At her last comment she grinned at him and he couldn’t help but grin back. “I’ll let you know if I stumble onto something.”

Lois yawned widely. “Thanks, Clark. Would you like a ride home?”

“I was about to ask you the same thing. It’d be much faster if I take you home and I’d come back for the Jeep so you’d have it in the morning.”

“I think it's best if I drive. I’m not ready for that yet.”

Clark saw a faint blush rising on her face, and felt his own heart beat a little quicker. It wasn’t a rejection and he sensed hope in both of them.

Lois laughed. “I feel silly offering you a ride when you could be home in minutes. Have a good night, Clark.”

“Hang on,” he hastened to add as she climbed into the Jeep. “Maybe I’d like a ride home?”

“You can’t be tired, and you’re not that fond of my driving skills,” Lois quipped as she started the engine.

Clark climbed into the passenger seat and fastened his seatbelt, smiling at Lois. “But I’d rather drive back with you for an hour than fly home alone.”

****

Feedback