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FDK: Island Getaway. #99991 04/03/14 11:32 PM
Joined: Jan 2010 Posts: 1,357 Cape Girardeau C Christina OP Top Banana
OP Christina Top Banana C Joined: Jan 2010 Posts: 1,357 Cape Girardeau	So what did you think? Questions? Comments? CLARK: No. I'm just worried I'm a jinx. JONATHAN: A jinx? CLARK: Yeah. Let's face it, ever since she's known me, Lois's been kidnapped, frozen, pushed off buildings, almost stabbed, poisoned, buried alive and who knows what else, and it's all because of me. -"Contact" (You're not her jinx, you're her blessing.)

Re: FDK: Island Getaway. #99992 04/04/14 12:14 AM
Joined: Feb 2010 Posts: 4,407 Likes: 1 Delaware L Lynn S. M. Pulitzer
Lynn S. M. Pulitzer L Joined: Feb 2010 Posts: 4,407 Likes: 1 Delaware	What fun. I hope Perry gives this particular assignment to Ralph. Joy, Lynn

Re: FDK: Island Getaway. #99993 04/05/14 04:12 AM
Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 1,069 Georgia BJ Top Banana
BJ Top Banana Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 1,069 Georgia	I like your little episode "untwist". It totally bypasses the whole Spencer Spencer escapade. Nice. Ralph? No, a headless Ralph wouldn't entice Lois to look into the mystery after her Tahitian getaway. Maybe Jimmy. I bet that would get Tank's vote. One suggestion: take a look at your verb tenses. Quote Clark looked over at her struggle. “Here lemme help,” he said as he reached out to pick up the basket in one hand. He takes his other hand and squashes down on it swiftly. Within seconds the same basket and toys were nothing but a dense ball of saran wrap, and wicker. He quickly turns around and tosses it over his shoulder, lightly kicking it into the basket with his foot. You switch from past to present tense here. It doesn't really matter which you choose for your story, but it should stay consistent throughout the piece. B

Re: FDK: Island Getaway. #99994 04/05/14 08:32 AM
Joined: Apr 2010 Posts: 3,669 Likes: 10 Somewhere on the East Coast Morgana Pulitzer
Morgana Pulitzer Joined: Apr 2010 Posts: 3,669 Likes: 10 Somewhere on the East Coast	Jimmy would really appreciate a trip to a nice tropical island. Not that toad Ralph! Morgana A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.

Re: FDK: Island Getaway. #99995 04/06/14 11:22 PM
Joined: Jan 2010 Posts: 1,357 Cape Girardeau C Christina OP Top Banana
OP Christina Top Banana C Joined: Jan 2010 Posts: 1,357 Cape Girardeau	Lynn: I'd hope for Ralph or Wally. Who knows though, it could be Eduardo or another staff member. BJ: Quote Ralph? No, a headless Ralph wouldn't entice Lois to look into the mystery after her Tahitian getaway. Maybe Jimmy. I bet that would get Tank's vote. Jimmy would definitely catch his and Lois's attention. With that said, it's unlikely Clark would leave ANY DP employee to "languish". Thank you for pointing that out! My beta did pick up on that but I had been away from a computer I could change it on. It's fixed now, though. Morgana: I'm sure Jimmy would definitely be jealous if Ralph went. Maybe they'd both be sent (I'm sure it was for a package of two and I'm guessing everything is covered after all! Love to hear what you guys think! CLARK: No. I'm just worried I'm a jinx. JONATHAN: A jinx? CLARK: Yeah. Let's face it, ever since she's known me, Lois's been kidnapped, frozen, pushed off buildings, almost stabbed, poisoned, buried alive and who knows what else, and it's all because of me. -"Contact" (You're not her jinx, you're her blessing.)

Re: FDK: Island Getaway. #99996 04/08/14 04:02 PM
Joined: Feb 2008 Posts: 2,823 IolantheAlias Pulitzer
IolantheAlias Pulitzer Joined: Feb 2008 Posts: 2,823	But on Spencer Spencer's island they had some very moving and important talks with each other! I hope that they'll have those same conversations on their new island, because those conversations were important to their relationship.

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