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#99837 03/27/14 06:15 PM
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ShayneT Offline OP
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Well, what do you think? I could finish it here, or continue on to the next part with Lois, although that would change the tone of the story. Maybe I should have the second part as a second story?

#99838 03/27/14 06:41 PM
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Yea! Clark! Super Vagrant! clap

We finally got an inkling of what happened back in Kansas:
Quote
Stepping into a fight like this one had been what caused Clark’s life to collapse in the first place.
So, Clark had hurt someone while protecting someone else. Now, that sounds like our Clark.

I liked how he used his advantages in the dark to freak out those thugs. Not so passive resistance.

For a second there, I thought the truck had spent more time in the air. I love this image though:

Quote
The men had all fled, and the bags of cans, both those he’d and Charlie had collected and those the men had already had in the pickup were scattered everywhere.

The truck was upside down a hundred feet away, caught in the top of two huge oak trees.
He scared those guys, and he scared them good. I love Clark standing up for himself, Charlie, and Rufus. I see the building of a hero, defender of the weak and the poor.

Quote
He’d practice with his abilities, and he’d go back to school; he’d find a way. He’d go to college and eventually he’d have the kind of home his parents had. He’d have the stable, loving home that he deserved, and he’d find a way to protect people.

Life wasn’t good, but it would be.
From this line (these lines) I can see the building of Alt-Clark from this vagrant to a hero. clap Well done. It gives new meaning to his lie "It was a long time ago." No matter how he might rebuild his life, *here* will always reside close to Clark's heart. The moment when he could see the good coming from what he can do. And the man who helped him, despite having nothing but his knowledge to give.

Quote
Originally posted by ShayneT:
Well, what do you think? I could finish it here, or continue on to the next part with Lois, although that would change the tone of the story. Maybe I should have the second part as a second story?
Either way works for me... just don't stop! Although, I could see definitely having a different tone and feeling once Lois was introduced.


VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
#99839 03/27/14 10:12 PM
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Oh, Shayne, don't stop! This tale is not finished yet. Clark has more street smarts to learn, and Charlie has more to teach him. Besides, I want you to show us how Clark gets from 16-year-old runaway vagrant to high school grad (maybe a GED?) to college student. Maybe he could help Charlie get set up in a stable and secure place of his own, receiving the disability and maybe veteran's benefits for which he qualifies. And Clark could live with him while working and going to school -

And meeting Lois Lane.

By this time Clark would be established in his neighborhood, known as the kind young man who somehow prevents bad things from happening to his neighbors. Lois meets him, likes him, but also gets suspicious, especially when she meets Charlie - who won't talk about his past. She's afraid that he's too good to be true, and -

I'd better stop now before I try to take over. And I couldn't do your story justice.

Anyway, please continue, even if you make this part of a multi-story narrative. I'm intrigued and captivated, and there is so much more to tell.


Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.

- Stephen King, from On Writing
#99840 03/28/14 11:47 AM
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I haven't been commenting, but I definitely vote for continuing the story!

#99841 03/28/14 01:20 PM
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I'll cast my "vote" for a second story, since this part had such a wonderful wrap-up with Clark's resolution. And then you can play with the tone as much as you like. smile1

#99842 03/28/14 02:32 PM
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Either way is fine with me, as long as we get more of the story. Bear in mind that if you have it as two stories, you can always change your mind and merge it into one for the archive.

BTW, this story is brilliant. Your research into the topic really shows through; both this and Veritas have a very "real" feel to them, for lack of a better phrase. Please keep going! smile


~•~
#99843 03/29/14 07:43 AM
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I just loved how Clark handled he situation, it's a first step to become Superman. I'm looking forward to seeing Lois appear.


KateB
#99844 03/30/14 07:12 AM
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Yay Clark for protecting the other guy! And what a great ending paragraph - we can see Superman in the homeless kid. Well Done.

You must write more. You can't end it here!

#99845 04/04/14 09:07 AM
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Seriously, you can't stop here! The engines are just warming up...

Personally I enjoyed the scene with the gang, I laugh out loud imagining the remains of the truck! clap and the guy's faces.... I really hate bullies.

Great work!


Clark: "So what are you saying? I should go crawling back on my hands and knees?"
Martha: "No, honey. Fly back. It's faster!!"
#99846 04/04/14 11:35 AM
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ShayneT Offline OP
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I've decided to split the story into two parts. The second part is called Homecoming, and two chapters are up already.

#99847 04/04/14 02:28 PM
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laugh Clark managed to use his skill for good.

I am a bit sad the story ended without us meeting Lois. I'm glad the next story has started. I'm looking forward to that one.


John Pack Lambert
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It's been a year since you posted the last chapter of this story, but I wanted to comment nevertheless, because I really loved both Vagrant and Homecoming, and I think that when a story is well crafted it should be acknowledged, regardless of how much time has passed. wink
In regard to Vagrant, I mostly liked the first chapters, in which you describe Clark discovering his powers almost like a sort of "enhanced puberty": at that age, every young individual experiences some dramatic changes in his/her body, and for this poor guy the changes are even more disconcerting... I think it was a nice way to make him more "human" smile
I've read the blog from which you took inspiration, and--wow! I think the next time I'll meet a homeless person, I will look at him/her in a different way.


Go I Know Not Whither and Fetch I Know Not What

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