I found this hiding on my hard drive. It was written over a year ago in response to a challenge to create an entire story out of one conversation. Anyway, it's a bit of unbeta'd silliness. Enjoy!
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Lois grumbled and reached over to grab the phone. "Whatever it is, it'd better be important. Do you have any idea what time it is?!" She rubbed her eyes, trying to wake up a little.
“Lois? It’s Lucy. You weren’t sleeping, were you? Geez, it’s only 1:00, and it’s Friday night…well, I guess it’s Saturday morning…but still…Anyway, I’m back in town and I thought you’d want to know.” In the background Lois could hear the loud buzz of dozens of conversations being shouted over the clamorous music of a rock band.
"Huh?"
“’Huh?’ Is that all you can say? Wake up, Lois, and focus.” Lucy was shouting into the phone in a semi-futile attempt to be heard over the noise. “This is your sister speaking,” Lucy continued, “and I have something important to tell you. You’ll be happy to know that I am done with losers. Done, finito, caput. I’ve finally figured it out. I’m going to get Superman for myself. He’s the last true gentleman.”
"*Superman*?" She sat up a little straighter, a frown crossing her features. "Have you been drinking?"
“Of course I’ve been drinking! It’s Friday night, and, unlike you, I am not an old married fuddy-duddy. But that doesn’t matter. The point is, I’m not letting any more jerks like Steven or Curtis or Brian treat me like dirt. You’ve got Clark, and I’m going to get me the next best thing. I’m going to meet Superman, and then we’re going to get married. Well, not right away, of course. He’ll want a few dates to get to know me first, but eventually. He’ll come around, you’ll see!” Lucy’s voice was steadily gaining pitch as she talked. Whether that indicated excitement or desperation, Lois couldn’t be sure. Probably a little of each—Lucy could go from happy, manic drunk to sobbing, wailing drunk in a matter of seconds.
Her hand came up to rub her eyes again. "Calm down, okay? I can't follow a word you're---*Married*?!" She glared at the phone. "You *have* been drinking."
Lois felt Clark’s hand on her shoulder, but she was having a hard time understanding Lucy, so she waved him off. She didn’t even notice when he quietly slipped out the bedroom window.
“Of course I have. I already told you that. So what? It doesn’t make any difference. Drunk or not, men are still creeps. All of them except Clark and Superman, of course. I know just how to meet him, too. All I have to do is…excuse me, Lois…” Lucy’s voice became muffled as she addressed someone else. “Do you mind? I’m trying to talk here. Oh, puhlease, like I haven’t heard that line a hundred times before.” Whoever it was must have gotten the hint, because Lucy turned her attention back to Lois. “Anyway, like I was saying, all I have to do is find a tall building and jump off. One loud scream, and voila! Superman to the rescue! That is how you met him, isn’t it?”
"Uh huh. What?! No! No, that's a very bad---just---just stay right where you are, okay? In fact...do you want me to come get you?" She started to climb out of bed.
“Hold on, Lois.” Lucy turned away from the phone again, but Lois could still hear her saying, “Look, buddy, I already told you…” After that all Lois could hear was a low rumble of voices. After a minute or two, during which Lois strained mightily but unsuccessfully to make out what was going on and became progressively more worried about her little sister, Lucy’s voice came back on the line, sounding much steadier than it had earlier. “What were you saying? Oh, right! You don’t need to come get me. Clark’s here.”
"What? Oh, he is? That's...that's good, then, I guess."
“Yeah, some drunk guy wouldn’t take no for an answer, but then Clark showed up and gave him the big brother act. I never knew Clark could be so scary. He told me he was here to meet a source. I don’t even want to know what kind of a story he’s working on. And why didn’t you wait up for him? Did you know that he knows Superman? He says he can arrange for me to meet him without jumping off any buildings. Pretty cool, huh? Anyway, Clark’s going to take me home now, and he said I should come over for lunch tomorrow so we can catch up.”
"Yeah, you do that. I'll see you tomorrow, then?"
"Okay. Goodnight."
Lois hung up the phone, yawning as she settled back into bed. It was only a matter of seconds before sleep reclaimed her.
