The opening of the door saved him from having to respond. He stood carefully, his eyes now glued to his wife as she carefully closed the door.
“Thanks for waiting,” she smiled at them both.
“Any time,” Clark said, giving her a returning smile.
“It went well,” she told LL not giving the other woman a chance to ask. “My impression is that he's trustworthy. Although I know you'll want to know for yourself.”
Tension filled LL's chest at the idea.
“Yes... is he in shape to do it now?”
“He said he was -”
“What do you really think?”
“He's tired, hurt and angry – scared too... this is really hard for him. He didn't complain, but I felt his fatigue.”
“Do you think I should wait?”
“I think waiting makes it worse. I think he wants this to come to an end one way or the other.”
“I understand that... I suppose we're the ones holding him prisoner -”
“It isn't the same thing,” Lois argued. “We aren't maliciously hurting him.”
“Although face it- there are those amongst us who would,” LL surmised aloud, not really speaking to them, but rather voicing her thoughts. “I'm going to go in then...”
“And – I'll wait,” Clark told her. “I'm here if you need me. I hope you believe that.”
“I do. I don't know how I can trust you,” she laughed. “But I guess I – still have the ability to see past the surface -”
LL wiped her palms on her pants, trying to gain some semblance of calm. Turning the door handle, she forced herself to walk through. She closed the door, her heart skipping in fear at the decisive 'click' – indicating her situation – she was closed off with someone who well could kill her, red-radiation not withstanding.
Kal-El was very ill at ease – this woman was radiating more pain and fear than the other one – he was better able to feel her thoughts – and he assumed it was because they were from the same universe. Her fear made him feel physically ill.
“I – hope you are not troubled if I remain seated,” he told her. “I feel sick.” It was something of a lie. He didn't want to tower over her like he had with the other one – yet he didn't want to seem like a ruler, staying seated while his 'lesser' stood.
She shook her head.
“I... suppose I appreciate it,” her mouth quirked into a mirthless smile. “Do you feel up to this?”
“The radiation sickens me,” he answered. “The more time that passes, the worse it feels. I doubt resting will make me feel better.”
“So now is better than later?”
“I am at your convenience. But now is better than later.”
She nodded and sat down at the chair she knew Lois to have sat in.
“My mind is open to you,” he told her politely. “Have your ease at learning my thoughts.”
“My mind is not open to you,” she snapped. He didn't flinch or change expression, but there was a flicker or anguish in his dark eyes.
“I understand. I must tell you however that Lois – the other Lois – was unable to hold back her thoughts. I did learn of the abuse she suffered through the link despite her best wishes and it may be that I gain more knowledge with you than what you are willing to share.”
“Okay. Thanks for the warning.”
“It merely is a statement of fact. I intend no threat -”
“A warning isn't a threat,” she told him tersely.
“I am unfamiliar with the nuances of this language. I took them to mean the same thing.”
“Ah. Yes. I – forgot. English isn't your language. It quite naturally wouldn't be. Would you rather we conversed in Kryptonian?”
Kal-El fought back his admiration. As terrified as LL was, she was as cool and calm as if she were talking with someone she needn't fear. Even more amazing was her offer to speak his language – something that no doubt was horrifying to her.
“No, I prefer we speak in the language of your home. I don't want this to be any more difficult for you than it has to be.”
“Because I'm only an earthling and therefore can't properly speak your language?”
“Because the circumstances of how you had to learn it – I meant no insult, and if you wish -I will speak Kryptonian with you.”
“No!! No – I don't want that,” she stammered, thrown off balance.
He was silent, waiting for her to make the first move. She looked at his hands uneasily. Lois had held onto them to tighten her link, but then again she was used to that with Clark, while LL – well, the idea was nightmarish.
“We do not have to touch each other,” he told her, not able to pretend he didn't see her conflict.
She crinkled her brow and shook her head.
“I think we should,” she answered. It would be harder for him to hide his feelings with physical contact. She didn't want to say it aloud.
He placed his hands on the table – palm down, letting her make all the moves, and not trying in any way to make her think he might grab her hands.
“Okay... “ she muttered under her breath. “Here goes.”
She placed her hands on his, her gaze targeted to where they touched – not wanting to see the look in his eyes. What if there was that awful cruel – pleasure? It would break her to see it in this man's eyes. What if she was wrong? What if they all were wrong, and he was as bad as Lord Kal?
My name.
His thought floated in between them and she saw that it had been drawn unwittingly out. She felt it. The regret, the wish to draw it back – to have it be unsaid.
You are Lord Kal.
Her 'voice' was contemptuous and angry.
Yes. I am Lord Kal. Ruler of my people. I am responsible for their actions.
She shook her head, not really denying his truth, but denying that his sick loathing of what his people had done was anything but a ruse.
Lord Kal forced me to be his slave - he raped and tortured me – repeatedly -are you sure you want to be known as the man who could do that?
She felt it – pain, loathing, disgust – and she'd hoped to feel those things. She'd egged him on, trying to see through the tight intimacy of the link if subterfuge might also be felt. If he showed the slightest bit of sexual interest at her words, she would know him to be as sick as his clone.
It is not a matter of what I want. It is what it is. I am Lord Kal. You know it as well as I do.
She exhaled hard, shaken by what he'd said. Of course he felt her reaction to him – her sickened, hate-filled, terrified reaction.
Then what will you do to recompense my world?
I will fight for you. I will fight for your freedom. I will die if necessary for your freedom.
The intensity of truth in that last thought nearly sent her to her feet. She felt the essence of everything he was in that one assertion that was more a vow than anything else.
You cannot return to me what was lost.
I cannot.
My honor.
Is that the custom of your people? You are deemed unworthy because of what you were forced to endure?
Isn't it the custom of yours? Don't you think Zara is defiled? Used goods?
She is a person – she is not an object to be used.
She feels defiled.
She feels guilty – she feels she should have known.
And do you feel the same way?
I bear her no ill will.
Will you accept her as your bond-mate when this is over? If we win?
I will not. I will grant her dissolution of our union. I owe her that much. To let her find her happiness where she can.
She could be happy with you.
Maybe once. Now – it is no longer possible. She will see him in my eyes – and even if she could get past that, she will not be able to forgive herself for failing me.
You think she failed you?
She thinks she failed me.
So you find another bond-mate – doesn't the King need his Queen?
I will not be leader to my people.
She flinched from the bitter edge of anger in his thoughts.
I meant you no distress. I am sorry. I am angry at those who perpetuated this scheme. It is hard to hide those feelings in the link.
You could have them punished. Imprisoned. Then you wouldn't have to deal with them.
I cannot lead my people. I have failed them. I too was failed. The only way my people can heal is to have a different leader.
Lord Nor.
Never. Zara would be my choice.
She must have a man at her side.
Ching.
He's not a noble.
I can change that. I can welcome him to my family – and then he will be as a brother.
They won't like it.
She felt what translated to a weary sigh.
I suppose you'll cross that bridge when you come to it?
I think I mean that. Whatever happens. I will not allow this invasion to continue. It will end and we will leave. We will do whatever you wish first to repair the damage we have created, but we do that at your command.
