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Joined: Apr 2008
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Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371 Likes: 1 |
Comments and/or feedback here please.
Bob
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,194 Likes: 1
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Aug 2007
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Well done, Bob. It makes me especially glad that Clark followed Paul into the zone. This Clark isn't leaving anything worthwhile behind.
This *is* my happily ever after.
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,660 Likes: 10
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,660 Likes: 10 |
Well done my friend, well done. (Sniff!)
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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Joined: Jul 2010
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,883 |
Bob,
Well done my friend.
The back story is very sad. I am very sorry that you bad to go through that. Fortunately that is all behind you and has been for over three decades.
Please allow me to wish you a Merry Christmas with your personal Lois.
Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks" My stories can be found herekj
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Joined: Apr 2003
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,597 |
Merry Christmas, Bob.  It's a sad story -- and a sad back-story! -- but it makes perfect sense for a prequel to The Pub. Here's hoping this Clark's next 33 Christmases are as great as yours. Kathy
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371 Likes: 1
Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371 Likes: 1 |
Hmmm, what was that rule. Oh, yeah, “Never write yourself into your own story.” For the record, I promise not to do that again. I do have some good stories that are a lot more fun than this one, but Clark be NOT standing in for me any more. Now that that’s out of the way, I hope this wasn’t too upsetting. I like uplifting stories more than almost anyone, but sometimes holidays aren’t all sweetness and light. Sure, Clark went through the ringer here, but we know that his soul mate is waiting less than a day away. HappyGirl: It’s nice to see you here. Thanks for the note. And of course you were right, I did need that grammar (and other) review. Morgana: Thanks. And thank you for the input on the story. Hi, Ken, Thank you, and merry Christmas to you too. Please allow me to wish you a Merry Christmas with your personal Lois. You’ve found me out. Captain Kirk may not have believed in the no-win scenario, but I don’t believe in the sad-ending scenario and Bev is the reason why. Kathy: It's a sad story -- and a sad back-story! -- but it makes perfect sense for a prequel to The Pub. Good. I was worried that the tie-in was too tenuous. When the idea came to me as a Pub prequel, it seemed like a perfect fit. Usually I have a good feel for if an idea will work or not, but due to the nature of this one, I just couldn’t tell. Here's hoping this Clark's next 33 Christmases are as great as yours. Well, now that I’ve put him through that, I guess I should see what I can do to make it up to him. However, this Clark and Lois are going to have to wait. These shorts are fun, but they keep pulling me off my real project - the SkyFall sequel. Again, thank you all. Bob
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Joined: Nov 2010
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,685 Likes: 1 |
Very nicely done. Sometimes the personal inspiration really makes the story.
Joan
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
How sad and poignant.  Congratulations on finding your dawn (by the name of Beverly). Due to your experiences, you know how very lucky you are.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371 Likes: 1
Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371 Likes: 1 |
Hi, Joan  Very nicely done. Sometimes the personal inspiration really makes the story. Thank you. I was more than a little concerned that the story wouldn't even be remotely interesting to anyone else. Virginia: That was pretty inconsiderate of Paul's family, I must say. Even if Clark was just passing through, they shouldn't have excluded him. That isn't what Christmas is about. There's another imitation of this kind of story. For everything else I've written, I can tell you exactly what any character was thinking at every point in the story. In this case, I have no more idea than you about what was going through their minds.  Writing yourself into a story makes the emotional impact bigger, more intense because the feelings are genuine and honest. You can get behind the motivation and feelings of the character better than someone just imagining it. Sometimes, it does make it harder to write, especially when it hits so close to home as this piece did. It's probably why your romantic scenes between Lois and Clark ring more true, because you understand the love behind them. This is all startlingly true. But there is a down side to letting yourself get too close to the characters. A couple of years ago when I was writing a lot, I was so into the the Lois and Clark characters that in at least a few cases, high angst stories cost me whole nights of sleep. That was part of the reason that I had to back away for a while and remind myself that Lois is not Bev. (Yeah, it sounds a little crazy to me to.) Congratulations on finding your dawn (by the name of Beverly). Due to your experiences, you know how very lucky you are. I just showed this part to Bev. Thank you for bringing a smile to her face. Bob
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Jun 2011
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Dark, but great! I felt bad for Clark, and then I read the reminder that this is a prequel for the Pub and I breathed easy.  Glad Clark could get that.
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness.
--Mark Twain
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Joined: Apr 2008
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Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2008
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Hi Mouserocks I'm glad you liked it. I felt bad for Clark, and then I read the reminder that this is a prequel for the Pub and I breathed easy. It's Christmas. Santa was just a little late. Bob
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Joined: Dec 2008
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,122 Likes: 1 |
Lovely story, Bob. I'm glad you added the personal note at the end - it made the story so much more powerful.
I think a lot of celebrations can bring both joy and sadness, depending on circumstances. For instance, Mothers' Day is wonderful for mums/moms, but must be terrible for women who have lost a child or were never able to conceive.
You showed this two-sides-to-one-event really well when Clark could hear the family enjoying Christmas, but their celebrations only made his situation worse.
Thanks for sharing,
Corrina.
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Joined: Apr 2008
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Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371 Likes: 1 |
Thank you, Corrina. I think a lot of celebrations can bring both joy and sadness, depending on circumstances. For instance, Mothers' Day is wonderful for mums/moms, but must be terrible for women who have lost a child or were never able to conceive. I think that happens more than we generally like to talk about. Happy and joyous occasions can often trigger sad or painful memories. The key is to focus on the positive and never lose hope. Bob
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,945 Likes: 28
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,945 Likes: 28 |
Michael
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Joined: Apr 2008
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Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2008
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Hi, Michael. I’m a bit late. Hope you don’t mind Not at all! Re: It’s interesting that they kept orphanages and general hospitality that much alive during the time after Nightfall and with so much of Metropolis in ruins and under the control of Lex. I visualized this as being a very regional thing. In a smaller town that didn't have direct impacts, I figured that they would have a higher degree of normalcy. At least, that was my thinking. Thanks for the feedback. Bob
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,945 Likes: 28
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,945 Likes: 28 |
Ah, yes. For some reason I read Clark's backstory as being in Metropolis the whole time. Dunno why, though  Michael
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